Tonight the American Idol train rolls down the tracks once more. Will I watch it? Oh, probably yes. Why? Because first of all, I'm an idiot, and secondly, it appears that ten straight hours of amateur singers, singing and attitudes aren't enough. I need more.
Like a hole in the head.
Actually, I'll most likely watch the first hour and then flip over to The Amazing Race. After all, screaming in Budapest; screaming in Cleveland -- it's all the same. The only difference is The Amazing Race has The Amazing Phil and American Idol has British Simon.
And really, is that even a fair fight? I think not.
So get ready for the Ghost of Disco past, Motown, and wretched Whitney Houston ballads. Add a considerable number of bleeps, dawgs and "Welcome to Hollywood" and top with Jonathan's Head on a pike, and you have a very good idea of where my evening will be headed.