Friday, May 08, 2009

Ode to Bessie

I remember when I got you, so long ago one spring,
You were the latest model. A happy, peppy thing.


I am both happy and peppy. You may call me Bessie.




You grew and grew throughout the years, on you I would depend,
Each time I had some work to do, or chatted with my friend.


This is beautiful. Continue.




But time, it marches on and on. Of that, you can be sure.
And finally the sad day came when you were....well...
horribly outdated...slow to start...prone to viruses...generally obsolete
"mature."

Uh oh.




It's hard to know just what to do when that sad day draws nigh.
What could I do to honor you? How should I say goodbye?


It had better not be with a chorus of "Dry Bones."




I thought that I could honor
your great memory with a cake.


Better than Mince Pie.




Or just be in denial,
saying you were at the lake.


*Splash*




But you are really gone, and now
my life's turned upside down.


Really? Now with the cow-tipping jokes?




Sometimes I look up to the sky
and hope you'll be around.


Run away!! Run away!!!




But your work's done. You're free!
And your cow-spirit's on the lam.


she said sheepishly




And me? Well, Bessie 2.0
has SIX WHOLE GIGS OF RAM.

sweet

Ode to Bessie

I remember when I got you, so long ago one spring,
You were the latest model. A happy, peppy thing.


I am both happy and peppy. You may call me Bessie.




You grew and grew throughout the years, on you I would depend,
Each time I had some work to do, or chatted with my friend.


This is beautiful. Continue.




But time, it marches on and on. Of that, you can be sure.
And finally the sad day came when you were....well...
horribly outdated...slow to start...prone to viruses...generally obsolete
"mature."

Uh oh.




It's hard to know just what to do when that sad day draws nigh.
What could I do to honor you? How should I say goodbye?


It had better not be with a chorus of "Dry Bones."




I thought that I could honor
your great memory with a cake.


Better than Mince Pie.




Or just be in denial,
saying you were at the lake.


*Splash*




But you are really gone, and now
my life's turned upside down.


Really? Now with the cow-tipping jokes?




Sometimes I look up to the sky
and hope you'll be around.


Run away!! Run away!!!




But your work's done. You're free!
And your cow-spirit's on the lam.


she said sheepishly




And me? Well, Bessie 2.0
has SIX WHOLE GIGS OF RAM.

sweet

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Cinco de Mayo - A Reenactment

Time: 8:30pm
Cast: GreenTuna, TeenTuna, GramTuna
Scene: GreenTuna and GramTuna have just picked up TeenTuna from a two-hour rehearsal. Our characters are tired and hungry. TeenTuna wants badly to "turn left" which is Tunaspeak for "Go to Tasty-Twist and get ice cream."


TeenTuna: left left left left left left Are we turning left?

GreenTuna: Way ahead of you (turns left)

TeenTuna: Sweet.

GreenTuna: Is anybody hungry, since we really didn't have dinner?

GramTuna: Yes.
TeenTuna: YES.

GreenTuna:
OK Then. Where are we going?

~~~ circular debate ensues with no decisions made ~~~


GreenTuna: Why don't we go to "Amigos." It's right by the Twist and then we can walk and get ice-cream when we're done...

~~~ general rejoicing at the good idea ~~~

GreenTuna: ...and it's nearly 9pm, so the dinner hour is long since past and it shouldn't be crowded.

~~~ our heroes pull into the parking lot only to find NOWHERE to park. We circle once, twice, and make one more pass and luck into a spot. GreenTuna is befuddled by a Tuesday night crowd.

~~~ our heroes walk into the restaurant only to find it jam-packed with a huge line. We stare at each other, confused...and then the realization hits...

GreenTuna: Oh God. It's CINCO DE MAYO.

GramTuna: FORGET THIS. LET'S GET CHINESE!

~~~ exit. Stage left.


Cinco de Mayo - A Reenactment

Time: 8:30pm
Cast: GreenTuna, TeenTuna, GramTuna
Scene: GreenTuna and GramTuna have just picked up TeenTuna from a two-hour rehearsal. Our characters are tired and hungry. TeenTuna wants badly to "turn left" which is Tunaspeak for "Go to Tasty-Twist and get ice cream."


TeenTuna: left left left left left left Are we turning left?

GreenTuna: Way ahead of you (turns left)

TeenTuna: Sweet.

GreenTuna: Is anybody hungry, since we really didn't have dinner?

GramTuna: Yes.
TeenTuna: YES.

GreenTuna:
OK Then. Where are we going?

~~~ circular debate ensues with no decisions made ~~~


GreenTuna: Why don't we go to "Amigos." It's right by the Twist and then we can walk and get ice-cream when we're done...

~~~ general rejoicing at the good idea ~~~

GreenTuna: ...and it's nearly 9pm, so the dinner hour is long since past and it shouldn't be crowded.

~~~ our heroes pull into the parking lot only to find NOWHERE to park. We circle once, twice, and make one more pass and luck into a spot. GreenTuna is befuddled by a Tuesday night crowd.

~~~ our heroes walk into the restaurant only to find it jam-packed with a huge line. We stare at each other, confused...and then the realization hits...

GreenTuna: Oh God. It's CINCO DE MAYO.

GramTuna: FORGET THIS. LET'S GET CHINESE!

~~~ exit. Stage left.