TinyTuna: I'm hungry.
GreenTuna: Make a snack.
TinyTuna: (going for the bag of Doritos)
GreenTuna: No junk.
TinyTuna: (here builds the pre-adult angst, complete with heaving sighs, crossed arms and the ever-popular indignant jacking of the hips)
WELL, WHAT ELSE IS THERE???
GreenTuna: Half a PB & J sandwich?
GreenTuna: Make a salad?
TinyTuna: No lettuce.
GreenTuna: Yes there is.
TinyTuna: No there's not.
GreenTuna: Yes THERE IS.
TinyTuna: No THERE'S NOT.
GreenTuna: (Opening the refrigerator and making a grand gesture) BEHOLD! An Entire Head of Lettuce in all of its lettucy glory!
TinyTuna: What am I supposed to do with it?
GreenTuna: What do you mean what are you supposed to do with it?
TinyTuna: I can't use that!
GreenTuna: Why not?
TinyTuna: Like that?
GreenTuna: Like WHAT?
TinyTuna: (flailing at the offending lettuce) THAT!!!
GreenTuna: WHAT??? There's nothing wrong with it!
TinyTuna: It's not cut up.
GreenTuna: It's not WHAT?
TinyTuna: Cut Up.
TinyTuna: SO WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?
GreenTuna: Rip it up!
GreenTuna: Are you SERIOUS?
TinyTuna: I've never ripped lettuce before.
GreenTuna: Good grief. Take the lettuce, grab it and pull it apart. It's not hard. It's lettuce, for crying out loud.
TinyTuna: WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
IT'S ALWAYS CUT UP IN A BAG!!
Note: Having already read "Huckleberry Finn" I knew better than to whitewash fences OR make a pre-adult's salad. So, I gave TinyTuna an emergency lesson in lettuce ripping. Immediately thereafter she made her salad all-by-herself. Crisis averted.