Monday, August 06, 2007

Surfs Up!

It's time for another installment of


The World of Fashion

Brought to my attention by my fashion-forward partner in crime, Mensch, we spent a goodly amount of time in hysterics over these. Lest you think these are stylish frocks for the summer Lunch Lady, let me assure you, it gets better. They are bathing suits.

Oh yes.

Thanks to our friends at WholesomeWear Styles modestly styled bathing suits are available to satisfy the repressed Victorian in all of us. And never you fear, in case you think these styles are still so suggestive that it will send the manfolk to shave their beads and buy a Mediterranean Style Console TV, they offer suits in Extra Mod(est).

As a perfect accompaniment, The Washington Post had a great write-up on this particular clothing line back in July, 2006.

The makers of WholesomeWear swimsuits would like women to cover up their tummies. And their backs. And their arms. And half their legs. The Oregon company, based outside Portland, sells a collection of swimwear online that consists of a wet suit topped by a dress.

There is an option with the slimming suit to extend the sleeves below the elbows and to lower the hem so it ends just above the ankles. A woman would be swimming in something akin to a choir robe.

The company may not be preaching to a specific denomination, but it is nonetheless preaching. Ferguson describes her family as "Christian people who love the Lord." And the swimsuits are "a ministry."

A person has to have strong convictions "to wear our suits," she says. If you have those convictions, "you're not going to care about the liberation or if you get persecuted and made fun of.

A bathing suit ministry? I pretty sure something like this is NOT sanctioned in the book of Leviticus. And excuse me for saying so, but that last paragraph about strong convictions and not caring if you're PERSECUTED AND MADE FUN OF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD is exactly the kind of backwards logic my child uses when she wants to wear black dress socks yanked halfway up her calves with a pair of shorts. There is no reason to look like a 75 year old man when you're only 13.

Finally, if own the suits or love the suits or think it's the bestest idea ever, huzzah. It just seems to me that dealing with industrial strength spandex (and even worse WET industrial strength spandex), it would be so much easier to enjoy water sports at home in the privacy of ones own shower. Alone. With the lights out.

The Wonderful World of Crafts

Yes, it's been awhile since I've hazed the cross-stitch industry, but Lizzie Borden and Animal Graveyard pictures don't come along every day (and by the way...BSTuna gave me the Animal Graveyard pattern for my birthday. Don't you think I'm NOT doing's AWESOME!)
Luckily, a few new horrors popped up in the last few weeks that are worth taunting mentioning.

Samplers can be commemorative or decorative. They can be simple or very ornate. Long ago they were learning pieces that included a moralistic message. We stitch samplers for all sorts of reasons, but speaking for myself, the day I start sewing a TACO is the day I need to find something better to do with my time.

Like sew a moose on a motorcycle.

Or Frankenstein taking a dump on a stump
pondering whether the Charmin should go over or under.

Thank you Internets.
Everyday is like a little slice of heaven.

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