Fiction

Statistical fiction sucks. Here's the deal: I've been asked to submit figures on how much time I spend doing a certain task. My initial response? "I don't freaking know." When pressed for something more specific, the best I can come up with is, "It depends." It depends how many times I an interrupted by stupid people asking stupid questions. It depends how many times the phone rings and I have to play either "name that tune" or "Antiques Roadshow." It depends how many mistakes were made before I ever got the item in question. It depends if I'm panicked and moving like lightning, or if I'm enjoying a more leisurely pace. It depends how fast the system is (heehee, I know), or if it is crashing every five minutes. It depends if the printer keeps jamming, or if I drank too much pop and I have to keep running to the bathroom. It. Depends. People in the biz here should understand that this job is not quantified and evaluated ala the billable hours principle. My workflow? Walk into my office, and put out the biggest fire first. Find another fire. Extinguish. Repeat ad nauseum until 5pm. But hey. I'm a team player. So I'm asking for some sample statistics from other institutions. I'm going to put my numbers smack dab in the middle and call it good enough.

Come to think of it, a lot of fiction happens up here surrounded by art and music. Annual student budgetary requests? Fiction. But I know how to play that game. Ask for more than you actually need, and they'll give you less, amounting in it being to what you really wanted to begin with. Some silly people actually ask for what they need. Snort. I've known plenty who've been burned plenty by that Pollyanna philosophy.

Meanwhile, I'm trying hard to blast the current soundtrack out of my brain. I've been working on new CDs all morning, so I have about 120 hours of music from which to choose. I just hope I don't pick something more annoying than my head is singing now. Hrm. Broadway: The Great Original Cast Recordings. Let's try that one....