GreenTuna: What position do you play in baseball?
NephewTuna: Sometimes outfield. Sometimes second basement.
GreenTuna: Man. Second basement is a hard place. How many basements are there?
NephewTuna: There is first base, second basement, and third basement.
GreenTuna: What about fourth basement?
NephewTuna: Well, there is a fourth base, but that's called home. So there are four basements, but just first, second, third, and home.
GreenTuna: If you get really good at baseball will they add another basement? Like fifth basement?
GreenTuna: Because that would be pretty cool. Playing baseball with 23 basements.
NephewTuna: You crack me up.
NephewTuna: Guess what? When I was playing baseball, I just about hit the coach in the face!
GreenTuna: With the ball or the bat?
NephewTuna: With the ball.
GreenTuna: Awesome! Why didn't you?
NephewTuna: He caught the ball.
NephewTuna: I hit the audience with the ball once too.
GreenTuna: The audience?
NephewTuna: Yep. I was really whacking it that day.
GreenTuna: If you're hitting the audience you're facing the wrong direction!
NephewTuna: No I wasn't!
GreenTuna: Is the audience sitting in the outfield?
NephewTuna: No, it was a foul ball.
GreenTuna: Really foul.
GreenTuna: Hey, with your baseball games, do they shoot hot dogs out of a cannon?
NephewTuna: (laughing hysterically) WHAT?
GreenTuna: You know. Shoot hot dogs out of a cannon so people have a snack. The audience would love it.
NephewTuna: You know what would be funny?
NewphewTuna: If my coach was a robot and shot a hotdog out of his cannon, and then I hit it and it exploded.
GreenTuna: Oh yeah. Hysterical. Except there would be hot dog carnage all over the field.
TinyTuna: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
GreenTuna: Hot dog carnage. From a hot dog cannon.
TinyTuna: (Returning to her meal as if this is normal daily conversation) Oh.
NephewTuna: Guess what? Herman the Hermit Crab got a new shell!
GreenTuna: Is it a summertime shell?
NephewTuna: Uh...well...it's bigger!
GreenTuna: Ahhh! So he traded up? That's cool.
NephewTuna: Yeah. We didn't see him for a long long time
GreenTuna: Well, he was naked! He was probably shy and didn't want you spying on his nakedness.
NephewTuna: (cracking up) Yeah...he was naked.....heh...I have to go to the bathroom!
GreenTuna: Well, don't do it in your seat. Get away from me!
NephewTuna: Hey, there is my art teacher from school!
GreenTuna: Cool! You should tell her you just finished painting your house!
GreenTuna: So you can impress her.
NephewTuna: But we are painting my mom's bedroom.
GreenTuna: Really? What color
NephewTuna: Well, I wanted to paint it cowboy cafe brown, but my mom picked light chocolate brown.
GreenTuna: Wait -- wait -- wait. Cowboy Cafe Brown?
GreenTuna: What's the difference between Cowboy Cafe Brown and Light Chocolate Brown?
NephewTuna: Well, they are both brown, but Cowboy Cafe Brown is a little darker.
GreenTuna: But that color makes no sense!
NephewTuna: Why not?
GreenTuna: Because cafes are places where you go to drink fancy-shmancy coffe like double latte espressos with sprinkles.
GreenTuna: Cowboys don't drink that stuff. They drink firewater and eat beans at the campfire. No cowboy ever goes into a cafe...
NephewTuna: Uh....but....uh...but I still like that color better.
GreenTuna: You can't. It isn't a real color.
NephewTuna: You're weird.
NephewTuna: Guess what? Next week I get to have pajama day in school!
GreenTuna: What the heck is that??
NephewTuna: We go to school and wear pajamas all day.
GreenTuna: No way!
GreenTuna: Which pajamas are you going to wear?
GreenTuna: Spiderman? Batman? Boo-Bahs?
NephewTuna: What are Boo-Bahs?
GreenTuna: Barney? Telletubbies?
NephewTuna: No way!!
GreenTuna: Are you going to ride on the bus in your pajamas?
NephewTuna: Yeah, well....I think so...
GreenTuna: And fuzzy slippers?
GreenTuna: If I buy you a new pair of pajamas, will you wear them to pajama day and take a picture?
NephewTuna: Uh...ok! .... No! Wait! Uh...what kind of pajamas? (Detroit) Piston pajamas, sure!
GreenTuna: Oh no. You don't get to choose! ... HEY!
GreenTuna: Is your art teacher going to wear HER pajamas to school too?
NephewTuna: See that guy (points to a Detroit Piston basketball player)? See number 22? That's (insert some name here).
GreenTuna: The guy with the sun on his arm?
GreenTuna: Why is he number 22?
NephewTuna: That's his number.
GreenTuna: Where are the other 21 guys?
NephewTuna: There aren't that many guys on a team.
GreenTuna: He must be bad if he's 22. That means 21 guys are better than he is.
NephewTuna: No! You get to pick a number and wear it.
GreenTuna: Oh! Does that mean I could be number four hundred seventy nine?
GramTuna: I think they have to be two digit numbers.
NephewTuna: (Parroting back information) Yeah! Two digit numbers.
GreenTuna: Oh. Could I choose to be negative 25?
NephewTuna: (Trying to figure it out on his fingers) Yeah! It has two digits.
GreenTuna: What about number three-point-five?
GreenTuna: Hey! what are those basketball guys doing now?
Nephew Tuna: They are sitting down and taking a break.
GreenTuna: Sitting down? Why! Do they get paid for sitting down?
NephewTuna: They have to rest!
GreenTuna: Can't they rest after the game?
NephewTuna: Games are long. There are four quarters and they each last like about an hour!
GreenTuna: Sure seems like it, doesn't it? I still think they should get up and play.
NephewTuna: You're weird.
Nephew Tuna: Guess who came to my school?
Nephew Tuna: Dennis, the weather man!
GreenTuna: Did you ask him why he only gets to work the weekend shift?
NephewTuna: Uh...no....But guess what? He has to go to work at 4:00, and he isn't on TV until 7:00!!
GreenTuna: That's because he has to stand outside for three hours and decide if it's going to a sunny or snowing.
NephewTuna: Oh. Uh. No. There is a big machine.
GreenTuna: No way. He just sits there, and if he can't decide, he flips a coin.
GreenTuna: Do you think he gets paid if he's wrong?
NephewTuna: You crack me up.
GreenTuna: Do you know what a perfect school day would be?
GreenTuna: Pajama day with Darrin the regular weather man AND a hot dog cannon.
GreenTuna: Gah! Excuse you!!
NephewTuna: (totally cracking up) *FART*
GreenTuna: You're exploding from both ends at once! Time to go!!