Friday, September 07, 2007

Rhythm and Blues

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
Yesterday as I sat inside my car (which refused to move in any direction)

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
Waiting for the tow truck to find me (in the median meant for authorized vehicles who are either napping, snacking or laying in wait to do some breathalyser inspection)

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
A thought crawled across my mind (because at this point I'm running out of tears to cry)

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
And then I knew I knew I knew I knew I knew (and it knew that it was no lie)

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
I'm one dead dawg short of a Country Western Grand Slam (oh me oh me oh my)

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
And then I thought I had some luck (because Lord, I ain't got no dawg!)

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
But my cats and my bunny is scared (though they all looks like bumps on a log!)

Ba-Deedle-bah BOMP!
Yes they all looks like bumps on a log!
Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
Yes they all looks like bumps on a log!
Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!
Big furry bumps on a ..... Lawg!


Even though it wasn't promised until Monday, my car was fixed today at 3pm. They told me over the phone that I had done "quite a number on my clutch" and that they hadn't seen anything quite like it. So when I walked into the repair shop today, I said, "Hey, I understand I'm getting a $400 discount because I did such an amazing job destroying my clutch, the likes of which you've never seen."

Without dropping a beat the guy at the desk looked up at me and said, "Oh yeah. One look at that thing and we jumped online and sold it to WWW-Worst Looking Clutch in the History of the Universe Dot Com."

I must admit, I like doing business with a smart-ass.

They brought forth said clutch, and laid it on the counter. I looked down at it, and then looked back up at the guy. "Well," I said, "I can't be too impressed unless I have something new to compare it to." So off he went to get a new clutch.

They took it out of the box and laid it on the table. On the left was this pristine circular metal disc
with lots of small pad-like items that are designed to cause friction blah blah mechanical stuff I stopped listening. Mine looked nothing like this. There were no pads. All that was left on this metal disc were whispy lint-type things that looked like a Brillo pad after it had taken a hundred or so trips through a shredder. They also took great pains to point out the purple and blue parts of the metal disc that were discolored due to high heat. You know, like when you BURN OUT YOUR CLUTCH. I must admit, it was impressive.

But all is better. And now that my car goes both forwards and backwards, I think the cats and the rabbit can breathe a little easier. No one wants to be the victim of a Country-Western cliche or a bad blues tune.

Ba-Deedle-bah-BOMP!

1 comment:

MissMeliss said...

I'm so sorry about your car woes, but the way you presented them made me laugh.

Also, we've been workshopping an improv game based on head-to-head blues singing at ComedySportz. Too. Much. Fun.