Appetizer: Fill in the blanks: I _________ when I _________.
I verb when I verb? Poor verb number one. It's very existence depends on verb number two. Verbs need to assert their independence. Down with verb tyranny! End verb dependency! Stop the inhumanity! Oh....alright:
Soup: Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Well, if we're talking good smells that exist for good smell's sake, we're talking cooking, and if we're talking cooking, there are too many good smells to pick one. Warm bread, sweet strawberries, roasted garlic, curry and PIE. If we're talking good smells that exist to defeat the power of unpleasant smells, it'd be a toss-up between a clean litter pan, a citrus candle, or the holy can of cinnamon. Personally, I'd rather go for the pie.
Salad: If you could receive a coupon for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A new car.
Main Course: Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Being a smart ass.
Dessert: What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
The idyllic pounding of a jackhammer across the street, my boss typing on the typewriter in my office, and my iPod on shuffle. I need more cowbell.