Thursday, January 07, 2010

An Entirely TRUE Story

On New Year's Eve I discovered I was missing something.  I really needed it, and suddenly it seemed I couldn't live without it.  I went to Sears and they looked quite shocked.  They said, "Oh no!  You cannot buy them in a store!"  I was half amazed, half confused and entirely irritated.  "Why not?"  I demanded.  "I can't do it without one!!"  The service guy, who, at this point, was less than serviceable, just shrugged.  "Internet," he said abruptly, as he walked away.

Not to be deterred, and even MORE desperate, I went to Best Buy.  Surely they HAD to have them there.  I walked to the back of the store (near the darkened little room), and when I was asked if I was being helped, I gathered up all my courage and said, "I NEED A DONGLE!"

The blue-shirted Best Buy Boy nodded his head.  "Sure.  We have Dongles."

"REALLY?"  I asked incredulously.  "Because I was at that other store that rhymes with 'Rears' and they didn't have any DONGLES.  In fact they said I couldn't buy a DONGLE in a store.  They told me I had to find one on the Inernet."

The Blue-shirted Best Buy Boy shook his head.  "Nope," he said, matter-of-factly.  "We have Dongles."  And with that, he started typing into his computer.  Suddenly he frowned and looked up.  "But we are out of them."

"NO DONGLES?"  I asked.

"No dongles," he answered.

"But I need a DONGLE!" I practically wailed.  It doesn't work without one.

"I know," he said.  "They are usually over there," he said, pointing at a row of corded wonders.  "Guess there has been a big demand for them."

Knowing I really had no other choice, I decided to order my own DONGLE and have it delivered to the store.  I'd just have to be patient until my DONGLE arrived and I could plug it in.  So we took care of the ordering and the paying, and I walked out of the store, DONGLELESS, but hopeful for the day my DONGLE arrived.

My DONGLE was scheduled to arrive on Tuesday.  But when I called?  No DONGLE.
My DONGLE was scheduled to arrive on Wednesday.  But when I called?  No DONGLE.

Finally, this morning, I got an email (in my SPAM folder, of all things!) telling me my DONGLE was here.  Too excited to wait until after work, I decided to get my DONGLE and eat lunch too.  So, back to Best Buy I drove.

When I arrived (DONGLE papers in hand) I went to the service desk.  "I'm here for a pick up!" I said excitedly.  The Blue-Shirted Best Buy girl started talking into her super-secret microphone to tell someone (I'm guessing her manager) that I was here.

"What are you picking up?"  She asked.

"A DONGLE!" I said loudly.

She started speaking into her microphone again, to tell the manager what I needed.  And then ... she started to laugh.


"No," she said, laughing harder.  They have to get it.

"They have to GET MY DONGLE?" I asked.

The girl nodded and laughed harder.

"I can't wait to see it!" I told her.  And then I lowered my voice and explained, "I've been waiting for my DONGLE for the past week!"

The manager came walking up holding my DONGLE.  She was laughing too.

"Does my DONGLE come in a brown paper bag?" I asked.

Everybody laughed.

"No -- it's right here.  You're all set."

"OK," I said.  I hope my DONGLE fits.  I had to special order this DONGLE especially for me.

They all laughed some more and waved goodbye as I put my brand new DONGLE in my purse and walked towards the car.

"You're an embarassement," said GramTuna.

I looked at her and smiled.  "Just think," I said.  "I made their day.  My DONGLE and I."

When I got home I was anxious to put my DONGLE to use.  I had to hunt for the right opening, and do a fair bit of fiddling, but when all was said and done, I was entirely satisfied.

And my Samsung Blu-Ray player picked up the wireless Internet signal and I was set.

All thanks to my DONGLE.

Addendum: I don't know who on earth is responsible for naming things, but I have been running around for the past week saying DONGLE like it is the funniest word on the planet.  I can only hope that DONGLE is the English translation for a Korean word that hopefully means something noble, or technical, or really, really advanced.  Because really?  DONGLE?  Who cannot help but turn into an eight-year old with uncontrollable playground humor when you're in the presence of the word DONGLE?

Yeah.  Probably everybody else but me.  
But at least I was amused. 

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