Sunday, January 31, 2010

To the Class of 1980

Then...
We didn't walk five miles in the snow uphill both ways to go to school. We caught the school bus which stopped (oh so conveniently) two houses up the road. If were late and saw the school bus race by, we could run about two blocks, down the hill and up the hill to the next bus stop. The bus? Waited for us.

Now...
Kids have a better likelihood of walking to school in the snow. It is possible for some to catch the school bus, but it is no longer a guarantee. First of all, you have to live far enough away from school to warrant school bus transportation. Living a mile or a mile and a half away from school is not far enough. You walk or make your parents drive. Prefer to ride your bike? In some school districts that is also forbidden. You walk or have your parents drive you. Next year in several school districts there won't be buses at all. There just isn't the money. You walk or make your parents drive.

Then...
We went to class, came home and did homework. We all took the same basic roster of classes. Our senior year might include an advanced placement course or two, which we took in order to pass out of a college class (or two), thus saving us a wee bit of tuition. Our tests consisted of real pieces of paper requiring real answers. Fill-in-the-bubble Scan-tron sheets were reserved for state-wide or nation-wide tests only.

Now...
You go to class, you come home and do homework. You are issued a planner in which you write all your homework assignments. Many students attempt to pass out of an entire year of classes as soon as they hit high school. They are required to take a comprehensive exam and must score very high in order to do this. Many take the test, few pass. Advanced Placement courses are highly popular beginning sophomore year, not so much as a tuition saver, but because the grades are more heavily weighted than a "normal" class, and it is felt that AP classes are make an applicant more attractive for college. The only test in high school which does NOT consist of multiple choice bubble-filling is a written essay for English and perhaps for history. You never get to keep a test to learn what you answered correctly, and it's rare that you even get one back to look at it.

Then...
We had school-wide pep assemblies in conjunction with football or basketball games. We might also have a single assembly to highlight the school play.

Now...
You have assemblies in conjunction with homecoming week in the fall. You also have an entire day dedicated to the concept of "excellence" -- where invited guests spend the day with you speaking on concepts that relate to tolerance, acceptance and general good behavior toward peers and adults alike.

Then...
We had an informal school dance every Friday night after a home football or basketball game.   Plus Homecoming.  Plus Sadie Hawkins.  Plus Prom.

Now...
There are three dances PERIOD during the school year: Homecoming, Sadie Hawkins and Prom. They are ticketed events. You have to register yourself and your guest. You have to abide by a strict code of conduct. You may not leave the venue at any time and then return.

Then...
We talked to each other during the day in school, and we called each other at night on the telephones. 

Now...
Cellphones and Facebook. And although there is plenty of phone use out there, it is overwhelmingly NOT used for calling. It serves three main functions: as a communication device (TEXT ONLY), as a watch and as a camera.

Then...
Big concerns would include a date for a formal dance, a big exam, and maybe what wewere doing over the summer. Kids moved in herds with like-kinds, and those that didn't fit in (or felt as if they didn't fit in) hung out together outside, usually smoking in the woods.

Now...
Kids are worried about everything. The formal dance, the next exam, every single grade on every single assignment, the musical, the play, the drama behind the musical and the play, being accepted for who they are, what they believe and how they choose to live. And every single fear, drama or moment of angst is played out on the Internet for the whole world to see.  Kids still move in herds, but "friend" everyone online.  And although I'm sure kids still smoke, I really don't think it's cool like it used to be.

I'm not sure I'd tell you that I had an idyllic high school experience, but I would tell you quite honestly that it was fine. I know there were some who were outcasts, some who were popular and some who were just plain miserable because they weren't what or whom they thought they should be. I'm not sure if I was lucky and just managed to avoid the angst-filled teenage heartbreak, unhappiness, and stress, or if I was just oblivious to how I should have been feeling and acting, but looking back on it all, I feel as if I avoided the worst of it. I'm sure the answer lies somewhere in the middle. I had a little bit of luck and a whole lot of not caring about the rest. I had a small band of friends and yes, we moved around in herds. I surrounded myself with people that didn't make me feel as if I needed to change who I was.

An interesting and somewhat uncomfortable result of my semi-nomadic high school experience has manifested itself twice over these almost thirty years. The day of my high school graduation as I sat watching people receive their diplomas, I realized that I had no idea who more than half of my graduating class was. I was closer to people in the graduating classes before mine, and as I heard name after name, I kept thinking, "Who? Who? Who is that?" I was a little embarrassed, but like most things in high school, it didn't bother me for long. I knew my people, and I was fine with that.

Jump to today. With the exploding popularity of Facebook (*waves*) I am friends with lots of my high school peers. Some of my Facebook friends now were my very close high school friends then. Others were people I had limited contact with, and still others were in the super popular or out-there fringe groups (as rated on the high school scale of acceptability), neither of which I had much contact with at all. But I friended them all, because...well....why not? We're all grownups now, and having friends is a good thing.

But you know what? I probably shouldn't say this, but I will anyway. Thirty years later, I still don't know who a lot of you are. Maybe I don't remember (which in my case seems to be a common thing) or maybe I never really knew you way back when. It's embarrassing to have to admit it, and I'm sorry.

But what's nice is having the chance to meet you -- some for the first time, some once again -- with the perspective of a nice chunk of adult life lived. We are all on entirely different footing now, with children and grandchildren of our own. We have lived and loved and lost, and are, frankly, much more interesting people now than we were then. I look forward to seeing pictures and hearing what my classmates are up to nowadays. Not so much because they were my friends from back then, but because they are my friends now. And if I tell you that I don't remember you from the class of 1980, please don't be offended. The cocoon I inhabited in high school was of my own making and had nothing to do with any of you. It's always fun to reminisce about the good old days, but I'm even happier to have the opportunity to get to know you in the here and now.

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