Thursday, December 08, 2011

All Is Calm?

Every year I feel like I'm doing it wrong.

The holidays are a festive time.
I'm cranky and stressed.

The holidays give us a reason to join together and celebrate.
I want nothing more than a very long uninterrupted sleep.

The holidays give us opportunities to play, sing and listen to special seasonal songs.
I crave a silent night of the non-musical variety.

The holiday season is beautiful with colorful Christmas lights that sparkle in the freshly fallen snow.
Snow is pretty, but not when you have to commute.  As for Christmas lights, a hearty bah-humbug to all.

I'm not anti-Christmas or Hannukah or Kwanzaa or any other festive holiday that happens around this time.
I like the thought of festive days, and celebrating and singing together, but when it comes to holidays, it seems I am always about sixteen months behind.  So let me take this moment to wish you a very happy Labor Day (2010)

Generally speaking, I try not to get too terribly upset at my lack of preparedness.  But every now and again I wish my life would align with a stereotypical greeting card filled with sleighs and horses and snow-covered picket fences and a small house in the distance where people are undoubtedly singing, dancing and enjoying their time spent together, right down to the last perfect chestnut roasting on an open fire.

Despite its appeal, I am not at all anxious to hurl myself into a mystical, magical landscape courtesy of Thomas Kinkade.  I'd miss that touch of crazy that whispers, "this is your life."  I'd miss sharing music, from a rousing chorus of O Come, All Ye Faithful, to an inspiring Oh, Holy Night, to a spin around the room with Rudolf, Frosty and Santa, Baby.  I'd even miss the struggle to find a calm, quiet peace in myself and my life because even that journey -- as difficult as it is -- is a part of who I am now and who I'd like to be.

Maybe it's not so much a matter of doing it wrong.
Maybe it's becoming aware of the many ways I can do it better.

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