Friday, July 08, 2005

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

In the year of our network 2000, a summer TV show hit the airwaves. A group of people would live together in a house. They couldn't leave the house. They had TV and no books, although somehow a Bible counted, so hey, at least there is some religious instruction, right? There wasn't much to do -- a cursed deck of cards, a very small pool (440 laps to swim a mile!) and a big plastic tub and wringer to do the laundry -- so they had to spend the entire time talking, arguing, lecturing, or plotting and planning.

Each week, someone would get kicked out of the house. Last one standing won some cash and 15 minutes of respect from the few people who cared. Oh, and there were cameras on them. Everywhere. All the time. And we could watch them like little hamsters in a cage.

Big Brother 1 (2000) -- "The Forgotten Year"
The CBS webpage doesn't even acknowledge the first season of Big Brother. How horrible must that show have been?

Big Brother 2 (2001) -- "We still don't use mottos yet"
It was the summer of Krista and Mike "Boogie", who proposed to her on live TV during the wrapup show while wearing a baby blue basketball uniform (no, it didn't last). It was the summer of Monica ("It's ON!") and weepy Bunky, the lovable bald guy. It was the summer of Shannon, who in a fit of rage, cleaned the toilet with Hardy's toothbrush. In the end, it was the summer of one of the best players ever, the winner, Dr. Will Kirby.

Occupation: Physician
Motto: Be desireless, be excellent, be gone
Hero: The Six Million Dollar Man, Steve Austin
Favorite Food: Sashimi
Least Favorite Food: Pasta
Favorite TV Show: Boy Meets World
Least Favorite Show: Any court shows
Favorite Movie: Fight Club
Least Favorite Movie: Air Bud II
Favorite Band/Singer: Weezer
Least Favorite Band/Singer: REM
Favorite Magazine: GQ, New England Journal of Medicine
Favorite Sport: Watersports
Favorite Color: Black
Least Favorite Color: Mauve

Big Brother 3 (2002) "Expect the Unexpected"
It was the summer of sweet, wacky Southern Amy and hysterical Marcellas. It was the summer of the bathroom handwashing scandal (or actually lackof handwashing scandal) with Gerry. It was the summer of crude Josh, pontificating Roddy, sweet Jason and devious devil-horned Danielle. In the end, it was the summer of the self-proclaimed "Princess of Darkness", Crazy Bartender Lisa.

Three adjectives that best describe me: Fun loving, complex, full of emotion
Favorite film:As Good As It Gets
Favorite TV show: Friends, The Osbournes
Favorite actor:Jack Nicholson
Favorite actress:Meg Ryan
Favorite band:Remy Zero, The Calling
Favorite hobbies:Hiking, dancing, going to lunch with friends, reading, photography (my favorite)
Personal hero:Shirley Temple Black

Big Brother 4 (2003) "The X Factor"
It was the summer of the cute motto that had double meaning. "X Factor" meant Ex's -- boyfriends and girlfriends -- and oh, what a mess that was. It was the summer of Scott who threw a chair and got kicked out of the house. It was the summer Amanda, who helped break in the Head of Household with Dave, who spent the next several hours throwing up. It was the summer of Alison, her nose, her voice and her elephant. It was the summer of Erika and Jack, the FBI guy. It was the summer of Buzzard Crotch and Robert, who, unbelievably, was grosser than a buzzard crotch. It was the summer of Doritos and eating anything that wasn't nailed down. In the end, it was the summer of "my strategy is to stay in the kitchen and cook" Jun.

Favorite Film:Grease
Favorite TV show: Sex & the City
Favorite Actor: Sean Connery
Actress: Annette Bening
Favorite Band: U2
Favorite Hobbies: Shopping, decorating, cooking
Favorite Scents: Men, fresh laundry, babies, ripe fruit
Favorite Flowers: Tulips, roses, orchids, sunflowers
Favorite Board Games: Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly
Favorite Video Games: Tetris, Bomber Man (not a big fan of video games)
Favorite Sports to Play: Volleyball
Favorite Sports Teams: Um, go US Olympics Team? Sorry, I'm not even going to pretend.
Favorite Outdoor Activities: Laying out in Central Park, hitting street fairs
Favorite Music: Hip-Hop, R&B, reggae
Favorite Magazines: Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Playboy
Favorite Books/Authors: Amy Tan, Danielle Steele, Dean Koontz
Favorite Cereals: Oatmeal Raisin Crisp, Cap'n Crunch
Favorite Fruits: Mango, pineapple, grapes, blueberries
Favorite Snack Foods: Chex mix, Pirate's Booty, cheese
Favorite Cookies: English toffee cookies, Oreos, Mrs. Fields
Candy Bars Nestle Crunch, Skor, Twix
Favorite Alcoholic Drinks: Midori sour, strawberry daiquiri, margarita with salt
Favorite Non-Alcoholic: Snapple-apple, Coke, peach iced tea

Big Brother 5 (2004) "Project DNA"
Short for Do Not Assume, Big Brother 5 was the summer of Twins. Adria and Natalie switched off in the house, and because they successfully pulled it off for five weeks, both were allowed in, whereupon they instantly self-destructed. It was the summer of Jase and Scott -- the manadana boys -- and Holly, who was indeed as stupid as she looked. It was the summer of the Knights of the Round Table, which instantly got changed to "The 4 Horseman." It was the summer of Cowboy and his eternal dreams of sitcom glory. It was the summer of MF Marvin and his feet that were so stinky, they tore down the house at seasons end. It was the summer of Nakomis, Karen, Diane and the infamous pinky swear. It was the summer where the Cheeze-it became a critical device of strategic thinking. In the end, it was the summer of Drew -- potentially the most boring hamster alive.

Favorite Films: Braveheart, The Shawshank Redemption, Great Expectations
Favorite TV shows: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Friday Night Stand-Up on Comedy Central
Favorite Actors: Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Mel Gibson
Favorite Actresses: Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, Renee Zellweger
Favorite Bands: Maroon 5, U2, Coldplay, Matchbox 20, Train
Favorite Hobbies: Boating, clubbing, traveling
Favorite Sports to Play: Golf, basketball, volleyball
Favorite Sports Teams: Ohio State Buckeyes & Miami of Ohio Football
Favorite Outdoor Activities: Kayaking, fishing, rollerblading
Favorite Music: Techno, hip-hop, country
Favorite Cereals: Lucky Charms, Trix, Apple Jacks
Favorite Snack Foods: Fig Newtons
Favorite Cookies: Peanut Butter
Favorite Candy Bars: Rolos
Favorite Alcoholic Drinks: Corona and rum & Coke
Favorite Non-Alcoholic: Lemonade

Big Brother 6 (2005) "The Summer of Secrets";
And here we are, at the edge of a new season. 14 brand new hamsters have entered the house are are trying to win the big prize. The "secret" this summer is so weak (secret pairings, and each pair believes they are the only two) that already some of them have started to figure it out. Are new and improved secrets are on the way? Only time will tell. Who will win...

Big Brother 6?
(Cue the fishtank. Cue the music.)


Anonymous said...

Are you going to do those nightly recaps of the feeds you used to do? If so is it on a seperate site or this one?

Thanks :)

Gary said...

I'm in the minority, but I always had a kind of fondness for BB1, when the whole idea was so new and fresh. And they were STILL more interesting than these season 6 hamsters are so far.

How appropriate is that Drew's favourite TV show is "Curb Your Enthusiasm"?

Norma said...

I'm speechless. I had no idea this continued past 2001.

MissMeliss said...

I've never even seen one episode of this...ever.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Gary about BB1. I hold it near and dear to my heart, and I still miss the hair-coloring parties.