Thursday, March 31, 2005

Presto Presto

1. Little Shop of Horrors Surprise -- Awesome.
Wide-eyed stare, "Who are THESE FOR?"
.... moment pause .... "WHAT DAY IS TODAY??"
It was great.

2. Little Shop of Horrors Show -- Very good.
She loved it.

3. Awake at 4:30 am?
Check

4. Tearful goodbye at bus = "Seeya mom" as she runs for the bus.
Ahem

5. Survivor Fantasy Team picked?
Check. Though I hate having to commit this early. I'm the Queen of Tweaking.

It's time to pack and dash. I'll be thinking of all of you as I drive the coma-inducing Ohio, the police-filled Pennsylvania and wherever else the car takes us today. No doubt I'll be checking in from the Big Apple.

Presto Presto

1. Little Shop of Horrors Surprise -- Awesome.
Wide-eyed stare, "Who are THESE FOR?"
.... moment pause .... "WHAT DAY IS TODAY??"
It was great.

2. Little Shop of Horrors Show -- Very good.
She loved it.

3. Awake at 4:30 am?
Check

4. Tearful goodbye at bus = "Seeya mom" as she runs for the bus.
Ahem

5. Survivor Fantasy Team picked?
Check. Though I hate having to commit this early. I'm the Queen of Tweaking.

It's time to pack and dash. I'll be thinking of all of you as I drive the coma-inducing Ohio, the police-filled Pennsylvania and wherever else the car takes us today. No doubt I'll be checking in from the Big Apple.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Practice, Practice, Practice

It's hard to believe that ten months have passed since TinyTuna was accepted into the ranks of the MSU Children's Choir, and learned that they would be singing in New York City in Carnegie Hall.

The choir is READY, both musically and emotionally. They are unbelievably focused on the upcoming performance at hand. It's interesting, because it really doesn't seem to matter to them if it's Carnegie Hall or Joe's Hall down the street. No matter where they perform, they come in with their game faces on, pony-tails perfectly executed, uniforms pressed, and their hearts and minds set on the task at hand.

This child of mine, who has never been on an airplane, never really been away from family and never been to New York City is over-the-moon excited about the trip. Her things are (almost) packed, and she's ready to go.

She leaves at 5:45 am tomorrow morning.

But I'll tell you a secret.

Tucked away behind the hairspray, the perfectly matching brown hairbands, the spit-shined shoes, the clean black socks, the large-scale commissioned piece for children's choir and symphony orchestra, the TWO pencils, the itinerary and the photo ID...will be Fluffy. The dearest, most-beloved, scrawniest, saddest-looking, oldest, not-so-white and definitely not-so-fluffy anymore stuffed cat.

Because you know, she's only a kid.
And game faces only travel so far.

Practice, Practice, Practice

It's hard to believe that ten months have passed since TinyTuna was accepted into the ranks of the MSU Children's Choir, and learned that they would be singing in New York City in Carnegie Hall.

The choir is READY, both musically and emotionally. They are unbelievably focused on the upcoming performance at hand. It's interesting, because it really doesn't seem to matter to them if it's Carnegie Hall or Joe's Hall down the street. No matter where they perform, they come in with their game faces on, pony-tails perfectly executed, uniforms pressed, and their hearts and minds set on the task at hand.

This child of mine, who has never been on an airplane, never really been away from family and never been to New York City is over-the-moon excited about the trip. Her things are (almost) packed, and she's ready to go.

She leaves at 5:45 am tomorrow morning.

But I'll tell you a secret.

Tucked away behind the hairspray, the perfectly matching brown hairbands, the spit-shined shoes, the clean black socks, the large-scale commissioned piece for children's choir and symphony orchestra, the TWO pencils, the itinerary and the photo ID...will be Fluffy. The dearest, most-beloved, scrawniest, saddest-looking, oldest, not-so-white and definitely not-so-fluffy anymore stuffed cat.

Because you know, she's only a kid.
And game faces only travel so far.

Give A Hoot, Please Don't Loot

In the midst of the excitement and hubbub that is TunaU Basketball frenzy (Men's AND Women's Hoops in the Final Four, Baby), an interesting directive has come down from on high. In an email received this morning, we, the older and wiser faculty and staff, were instructed to discuss responsible behavior, and exhort our highly impressionable wards to display good sportsmanship and citizenship over the upcoming weekend.

As a grownup, I like to think I display a certain amount emulative behaviors. I sit up straight, I say "please" and "thank you", and I eat all my vegetables. What's not to love?

My problem, though, is figuring out how to sneak things like, "don't act like a jerkwad and burn your sofa in the street" into casual conversation, much less doctoral-level library research.
"Ahhh, Stravinsky. Do you recall the public uproar that occurred when he premiered The Rite of Spring? The crowds were so upset that he had to climb out a bathroom window to safety. Speaking public uproars, don't be a jerkwad and burn your sofa in the street this weekend."

"Yes Joe Freshman. Your CD is due in one weeks time. Please be aware that you will be fined for all damages incurred should you so foolishly choose to burn your sofa in the street..."
Somehow I'm guessing the last thing a jerkwad is going to consider as the La-Z-Boy goes up in flames is being a model citizen. And as for our level of influence, let me just say if we can't stem the tide of buffet dinners that students sneak into the reference stacks ("Rodents be damned! Gimme cheezy bread sticks!") I doubt we will be particularly effective against street riots.

This isn't our first challenging directive at our beloved land of higher education. In January all faculty were instructed to incorporate Tsunami education in their classes. For musicians, you might think this would have been an impossible challenge:
We will now listen to "La Mer" (The Sea) by Debussy. How do you suppose this composition would sound if he were describing something bigger...like an ocean. Speaking of oceans, how about that Tsunami?
But we're a creative bunch, and just like the Tsunami before us, we are ready to preach the message of model behavior. I'm going to go for a combination South Park / Mommy Dearest approach:

Rioting is bad, MmmmmKay?
Eat your peas.

Give A Hoot, Please Don't Loot

In the midst of the excitement and hubbub that is TunaU Basketball frenzy (Men's AND Women's Hoops in the Final Four, Baby), an interesting directive has come down from on high. In an email received this morning, we, the older and wiser faculty and staff, were instructed to discuss responsible behavior, and exhort our highly impressionable wards to display good sportsmanship and citizenship over the upcoming weekend.

As a grownup, I like to think I display a certain amount emulative behaviors. I sit up straight, I say "please" and "thank you", and I eat all my vegetables. What's not to love?

My problem, though, is figuring out how to sneak things like, "don't act like a jerkwad and burn your sofa in the street" into casual conversation, much less doctoral-level library research.
"Ahhh, Stravinsky. Do you recall the public uproar that occurred when he premiered The Rite of Spring? The crowds were so upset that he had to climb out a bathroom window to safety. Speaking public uproars, don't be a jerkwad and burn your sofa in the street this weekend."

"Yes Joe Freshman. Your CD is due in one weeks time. Please be aware that you will be fined for all damages incurred should you so foolishly choose to burn your sofa in the street..."
Somehow I'm guessing the last thing a jerkwad is going to consider as the La-Z-Boy goes up in flames is being a model citizen. And as for our level of influence, let me just say if we can't stem the tide of buffet dinners that students sneak into the reference stacks ("Rodents be damned! Gimme cheezy bread sticks!") I doubt we will be particularly effective against street riots.

This isn't our first challenging directive at our beloved land of higher education. In January all faculty were instructed to incorporate Tsunami education in their classes. For musicians, you might think this would have been an impossible challenge:
We will now listen to "La Mer" (The Sea) by Debussy. How do you suppose this composition would sound if he were describing something bigger...like an ocean. Speaking of oceans, how about that Tsunami?
But we're a creative bunch, and just like the Tsunami before us, we are ready to preach the message of model behavior. I'm going to go for a combination South Park / Mommy Dearest approach:

Rioting is bad, MmmmmKay?
Eat your peas.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Oh My God, They've Made Tuna!


Yep. That's me.

Oh My God, They've Made Tuna!


Yep. That's me.

Friends

Too much fun. I made some friends for him at the bottom of the page.
FYI -- No Damn Peeps.

my pet!

Friends

Too much fun. I made some friends for him at the bottom of the page.
FYI -- No Damn Peeps.

my pet!

Ye Gods!

Yikes. My current banner ads are nasty.
Maybe I should get some Jesus Candles.

Damn Peeps.

Ye Gods!

Yikes. My current banner ads are nasty.
Maybe I should get some Jesus Candles.

Damn Peeps.

Last Laugh


Damn Peeps. That'll teach 'em.

Last Laugh


Damn Peeps. That'll teach 'em.

Friday, March 25, 2005

FRIDAY PEEPSTACULAR

Friday Feast is served....Sorry about the bird.
..HEY!


APPETIZER: What is the worst movie you've ever seen?

THE BIRDS. WHAT A BUNCH OF AMATEURS.
Under the Rainbow - an insulting film starring Chevy Chase, Carrie Fisher and a bunch of munchkins wishing to audition for The Wizard of Oz who spend the film trashing a hotel. Oops. SPOILER ALERT BACK THERE. Stinker doesn't come close.



SOUP: Name something that reminds you of your childhood.
MINI MARSHMALLOWS!! BA-DUMP-PEEP!
Captain Kangaroo



SALAD: If you had to live in a large city, which one would you want it to be?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LONDON, BABY. IT'S ALL JULIE ANDREWS AND FEED THE BIRDS. HUBBA HUBBA! PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP!
Munich. With the Hofbrauhaus nearby, I'm set for life.



MAIN COURSE: What's a "Big Word" that you like to use to impress people?
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Inconceivable.
You keep using that word.
I do not think it means what you think it means.




DESSERT: Describe your hairstyle
YELLOW
SHORT

FRIDAY PEEPSTACULAR

Friday Feast is served....Sorry about the bird.
..HEY!


APPETIZER: What is the worst movie you've ever seen?

THE BIRDS. WHAT A BUNCH OF AMATEURS.
Under the Rainbow - an insulting film starring Chevy Chase, Carrie Fisher and a bunch of munchkins wishing to audition for The Wizard of Oz who spend the film trashing a hotel. Oops. SPOILER ALERT BACK THERE. Stinker doesn't come close.



SOUP: Name something that reminds you of your childhood.
MINI MARSHMALLOWS!! BA-DUMP-PEEP!
Captain Kangaroo



SALAD: If you had to live in a large city, which one would you want it to be?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LONDON, BABY. IT'S ALL JULIE ANDREWS AND FEED THE BIRDS. HUBBA HUBBA! PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP!
Munich. With the Hofbrauhaus nearby, I'm set for life.



MAIN COURSE: What's a "Big Word" that you like to use to impress people?
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Inconceivable.
You keep using that word.
I do not think it means what you think it means.




DESSERT: Describe your hairstyle
YELLOW
SHORT

ENTERTAINING PEEPS UNAWARES



1. LORD OF THE PEEPS : THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE PEEP

2. BLESSED ARE THE PEEPS-MAKERS

3. TO THE MOON AND BACK!

4. OH MY GOD! THEY PEEPED KENNY!

5. PEEPSTER BONNET


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

ENTERTAINING PEEPS UNAWARES



1. LORD OF THE PEEPS : THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE PEEP

2. BLESSED ARE THE PEEPS-MAKERS

3. TO THE MOON AND BACK!

4. OH MY GOD! THEY PEEPED KENNY!

5. PEEPSTER BONNET


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP
PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

JAMES AND THE GIANT PEEPS

DO YOU STILL DOUBT THE POWER OF THE PEEPS? BEHOLD, WE CREATED HAVOC IN SURVIVOR AMONG THE ULONG TRIBE AND MADE THEM LOSE! GRANTED, IT WASN'T TOO TOUGH, SINCE THEY HAVEN'T WON A SINGLE IMMUNITY YET, BUT WHAT THE HEY!!!


"PSST...JAMES! I SEE LONDON, I SEE FRANCE......!"

YES, JAMES SPENT THREE MINUTES TYING UP HIS SKIRT WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TYING UP THE ROPES IN THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!!!

O-WAY O-WAY O-WAY PEEP PEEP PEEP!!!!

(Peep Laughter. Survivor Style)


UNFORTUNATELY, WE WERE SO SUCCESSFUL IN OUR PLOT THAT THE GREEN FISH HAS FLOPPED HER WAY TO THE TOP OF HER SURVIVOR FANTASY POOL.



PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP DOH!!!!!

(Peeps doing the Homer Simpson)


THE PEEPS ARE NOW OUT TO INFILTRATE THE DUKE BASKETBALL TEAM! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(Peeps Shoot! Peeps Score!)

JAMES AND THE GIANT PEEPS

DO YOU STILL DOUBT THE POWER OF THE PEEPS? BEHOLD, WE CREATED HAVOC IN SURVIVOR AMONG THE ULONG TRIBE AND MADE THEM LOSE! GRANTED, IT WASN'T TOO TOUGH, SINCE THEY HAVEN'T WON A SINGLE IMMUNITY YET, BUT WHAT THE HEY!!!


"PSST...JAMES! I SEE LONDON, I SEE FRANCE......!"

YES, JAMES SPENT THREE MINUTES TYING UP HIS SKIRT WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TYING UP THE ROPES IN THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!!!

O-WAY O-WAY O-WAY PEEP PEEP PEEP!!!!

(Peep Laughter. Survivor Style)


UNFORTUNATELY, WE WERE SO SUCCESSFUL IN OUR PLOT THAT THE GREEN FISH HAS FLOPPED HER WAY TO THE TOP OF HER SURVIVOR FANTASY POOL.



PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP DOH!!!!!

(Peeps doing the Homer Simpson)


THE PEEPS ARE NOW OUT TO INFILTRATE THE DUKE BASKETBALL TEAM! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(Peeps Shoot! Peeps Score!)

Thursday, March 24, 2005

SING THIS!

THE PEEPS HAVE REDUCED THE GREEN FISH TO A PUDDLE OF FRAYED AND ANGRY NERVES BY MAKING SURE EVERY STUDENT WAS LATE, ILL-PREPARED, RUDE, OVER-STRESSED, HYPER EMOTIONAL AND PETTY.

ALL. AT. THE. SAME. TIME.

IT'S GOOD TO BE A PEEP!

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(Evil Peep Anthem. Played in a Minor Key)

SING THIS!

THE PEEPS HAVE REDUCED THE GREEN FISH TO A PUDDLE OF FRAYED AND ANGRY NERVES BY MAKING SURE EVERY STUDENT WAS LATE, ILL-PREPARED, RUDE, OVER-STRESSED, HYPER EMOTIONAL AND PETTY.

ALL. AT. THE. SAME. TIME.

IT'S GOOD TO BE A PEEP!

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(Evil Peep Anthem. Played in a Minor Key)

THERE GOES PETER COTTONTAIL

FURTHER PROOF OF WORLD PEEP DOMINATION WAS REVEALED ON A LOCAL CHURCH BANNER:

EASTER BUNNY PANCAKE BREAKFAST, SATURDAY 9 AM

THE PEEP COLLECTIVE ENJOYS A LOVELY PANCAKE BREAKFAST, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE BLUEBERRY. BUT THE MERE THOUGHT OF A BUNNY FLAVORED PANCAKE HAS PUSHED THE PEEPS TO A FRENZIED EXCITEMENT!

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(frenzied excitement)


THE EVIL PEEPS CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE EXPRESSION OF THE CHILDREN AS THEY DISCOVER THAT INSTEAD OF EATING WITH THE EASTER BUNNY THEY ARE EATING THE EASTER BUNNY WITH BUTTER AND MAPLE SYRUP. "WAITER, THERE'S A HARE IN MY PANCAKE!"

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(evil laughter)


THE PEEPS HOPE THERE WILL BE JELLY BELLYS FOR DESSERT.

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(Peep Tummy Rumbling for a Snack)

THERE GOES PETER COTTONTAIL

FURTHER PROOF OF WORLD PEEP DOMINATION WAS REVEALED ON A LOCAL CHURCH BANNER:

EASTER BUNNY PANCAKE BREAKFAST, SATURDAY 9 AM

THE PEEP COLLECTIVE ENJOYS A LOVELY PANCAKE BREAKFAST, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE BLUEBERRY. BUT THE MERE THOUGHT OF A BUNNY FLAVORED PANCAKE HAS PUSHED THE PEEPS TO A FRENZIED EXCITEMENT!

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(frenzied excitement)


THE EVIL PEEPS CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE EXPRESSION OF THE CHILDREN AS THEY DISCOVER THAT INSTEAD OF EATING WITH THE EASTER BUNNY THEY ARE EATING THE EASTER BUNNY WITH BUTTER AND MAPLE SYRUP. "WAITER, THERE'S A HARE IN MY PANCAKE!"

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(evil laughter)


THE PEEPS HOPE THERE WILL BE JELLY BELLYS FOR DESSERT.

PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(Peep Tummy Rumbling for a Snack)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

PEEP PEEP REVOLUTION

THE TIME IS AT HAND FOR THE PEEP UPRISING. I CALL UPON MY PASTEL MARSHMALLOW BRETHREN TO JOIN THE PEEP PEEP REVOLUTION. ALL GREEN FISH AND OTHER NON-PASTELS ARE POWERLESS IN THE FACE OF THE MIGHTY PEEPS. FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE, I BRING YOU THESE SIGNS AS PROOF OF OUR EVERLASTING DOMINATION.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE PEEPS --


PROOF 1

HOOTIE

YES. HOOTIE IS UNDER THE SPELL OF THE MIGHTY PEEPS AND IS POWERLESS TO REFUSE THE PURPLE COWBOY SHIRT.




PROOF 2

AMERICAN IDOL

LAST NIGHT THE PEEPS SUCCESSFULLY INFILTRATED THE HIT SHOW AMERICAN IDOL BY YELLING, "HOOTIE HAS A HAMBURGER!" WHEN EVERYONE RAN OUT TO GRAB A TENDERCRISP BACON CHEDDAR RANCH, THE PEEPS MIXED UP THE PHONE NUMBERS FOR VOTING!


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(evil laughter)

AND NOW, THEY HAVE TO RERUN THE SHOW AGAIN TONIGHT!



MWAHAHAHAHA! YES, THIS MEANS PITCHY-AND-PROUD MIKALAH AND "KEITH PATRIDGE IS MY HERO" CONSTANTINE WILL ASSAULT YOUR EARS A SECOND TIME TONIGHT!

OH, EVIL PLAN OF WORLD DOMINATION, I THINK I LOVE YOU!!!


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(evil laughter again)

PEEP PEEP REVOLUTION

THE TIME IS AT HAND FOR THE PEEP UPRISING. I CALL UPON MY PASTEL MARSHMALLOW BRETHREN TO JOIN THE PEEP PEEP REVOLUTION. ALL GREEN FISH AND OTHER NON-PASTELS ARE POWERLESS IN THE FACE OF THE MIGHTY PEEPS. FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE, I BRING YOU THESE SIGNS AS PROOF OF OUR EVERLASTING DOMINATION.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE PEEPS --


PROOF 1

HOOTIE

YES. HOOTIE IS UNDER THE SPELL OF THE MIGHTY PEEPS AND IS POWERLESS TO REFUSE THE PURPLE COWBOY SHIRT.




PROOF 2

AMERICAN IDOL

LAST NIGHT THE PEEPS SUCCESSFULLY INFILTRATED THE HIT SHOW AMERICAN IDOL BY YELLING, "HOOTIE HAS A HAMBURGER!" WHEN EVERYONE RAN OUT TO GRAB A TENDERCRISP BACON CHEDDAR RANCH, THE PEEPS MIXED UP THE PHONE NUMBERS FOR VOTING!


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(evil laughter)

AND NOW, THEY HAVE TO RERUN THE SHOW AGAIN TONIGHT!



MWAHAHAHAHA! YES, THIS MEANS PITCHY-AND-PROUD MIKALAH AND "KEITH PATRIDGE IS MY HERO" CONSTANTINE WILL ASSAULT YOUR EARS A SECOND TIME TONIGHT!

OH, EVIL PLAN OF WORLD DOMINATION, I THINK I LOVE YOU!!!


PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP

(evil laughter again)