Friday's Feast Tag-Team

TinyTuna has so many posts saved to draft (mom's rule) that I need to catch up and clean out a bit, so this Friday Feast is a two-fer. I didn't look at her answers before I wrote mine, so it will be interesting to see how they match up.


Appetizer: What are you proud of?
Greentuna: Good Lord. Making it through another day? Not falling asleep, bashing my head into the keyboard and lapsing into a coma today at work? No. It must be finding (and wearing) clean and matching socks. Huzzah!
TinyTuna: Singing "On the Transmigration of Souls" with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra
(Greentuna: She should be proud. They are doing amazing work. It makes my matching socks and no-coma Friday look pretty sad in comparison)



Soup: What is the best thing you've ever won as a prize?
Greentuna: Much better story: What is the WORST thing you've ever won as a prize. I have far more worst prize stories than best prize stories (which should give you a clue as to the nature of my very existence).
Worst Prize Number One: Once, I believe in middle school, there was some sort of school carnival type event. In the gym there was a large circle of chairs set up for a Cake Walk. This is where you walk around the chairs while music plays and when it stops you sit in the chair. Then somebody draws a number, and if you're sitting in that chair, you win a cake. Me? I won. Too bad I don't like cake.
Worst Prize Number Two: I did it again and won another one.
Worst Prize Number Three: Back in the olden days, as a bride to be, I ran around a local mall during the weekend bridal show and entered my name to win anything and everything I could. Lo and behold, I won! Although it wasn't a cake, it was equally lame and unnecessary. I won a rather expensive china bridal figurine (read: something I had to stare at and then dust). I held onto said figurine until a couple months after the wedding and then attempted a return. I scored the return and got ... dishes! So, it ended up not being such a horrible prize after all.
TinyTuna: A medal at Solo and Ensemble
(Greentuna: And she didn't even win a cake!)



Salad: Name Something You Do that is a Waste of Time
Greentuna: Oh, the irony of typing this question while at work....
TinyTuna: Watching Spongebob Squarepants
(Greentuna: Yep. That wins)



Main Course: In what year of your life did you change the most?
Greentuna: Last Saturday I ate a piece of cake and actually uttered, "hey, this is good." So maybe the answer is this year. Or not. It's only cake, after all.
TinyTuna: (Almost) When I'm thirteen!
(Greentuna: Let the record show that as of this writing, she is NOT having cake for her birthday. Well, she is have cake, but with "cheese" in front of it and with three different kinds of chocolate in it, under it, and on top of it)



Dessert: Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
Greentuna: Sunset, at the Atlantic ocean's edge. I'm ready now.
TinyTuna: Cape Hatteras
(Greentuna: Ahhhh. That's my kid)

Friday's Feast Tag-Team

TinyTuna has so many posts saved to draft (mom's rule) that I need to catch up and clean out a bit, so this Friday Feast is a two-fer. I didn't look at her answers before I wrote mine, so it will be interesting to see how they match up.


Appetizer: What are you proud of?
Greentuna: Good Lord. Making it through another day? Not falling asleep, bashing my head into the keyboard and lapsing into a coma today at work? No. It must be finding (and wearing) clean and matching socks. Huzzah!
TinyTuna: Singing "On the Transmigration of Souls" with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra
(Greentuna: She should be proud. They are doing amazing work. It makes my matching socks and no-coma Friday look pretty sad in comparison)



Soup: What is the best thing you've ever won as a prize?
Greentuna: Much better story: What is the WORST thing you've ever won as a prize. I have far more worst prize stories than best prize stories (which should give you a clue as to the nature of my very existence).
Worst Prize Number One: Once, I believe in middle school, there was some sort of school carnival type event. In the gym there was a large circle of chairs set up for a Cake Walk. This is where you walk around the chairs while music plays and when it stops you sit in the chair. Then somebody draws a number, and if you're sitting in that chair, you win a cake. Me? I won. Too bad I don't like cake.
Worst Prize Number Two: I did it again and won another one.
Worst Prize Number Three: Back in the olden days, as a bride to be, I ran around a local mall during the weekend bridal show and entered my name to win anything and everything I could. Lo and behold, I won! Although it wasn't a cake, it was equally lame and unnecessary. I won a rather expensive china bridal figurine (read: something I had to stare at and then dust). I held onto said figurine until a couple months after the wedding and then attempted a return. I scored the return and got ... dishes! So, it ended up not being such a horrible prize after all.
TinyTuna: A medal at Solo and Ensemble
(Greentuna: And she didn't even win a cake!)



Salad: Name Something You Do that is a Waste of Time
Greentuna: Oh, the irony of typing this question while at work....
TinyTuna: Watching Spongebob Squarepants
(Greentuna: Yep. That wins)



Main Course: In what year of your life did you change the most?
Greentuna: Last Saturday I ate a piece of cake and actually uttered, "hey, this is good." So maybe the answer is this year. Or not. It's only cake, after all.
TinyTuna: (Almost) When I'm thirteen!
(Greentuna: Let the record show that as of this writing, she is NOT having cake for her birthday. Well, she is have cake, but with "cheese" in front of it and with three different kinds of chocolate in it, under it, and on top of it)



Dessert: Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
Greentuna: Sunset, at the Atlantic ocean's edge. I'm ready now.
TinyTuna: Cape Hatteras
(Greentuna: Ahhhh. That's my kid)

Tuna Tribulations

Evidently this is TinyTuna's version of a persuasive argument. Reading this, you'd think we had a lovely chat with pinkies raised whilst we sipped our tea and nibbled dainty finger sandwiches. Speaking as one who has lived it with for well over 13 years (she was like this BEFORE she came out, just in case you wondered), she is more obnoxious persuasive than this even when she's asleep. (-GT)



TINY TUNA :: Mom, can I ask you something?

GREEN TUNA :: Sure.

TINY TUNA :: You know on your blog how I'm known as Tiny tuna, well since I'm going to be thirteen on Easter Sunday, can you change it to Teen tuna?

GREEN TUNA :: **crickets** Well, maybe.

TINY TUNA :: (Slump)

GREEN TUNA :: But, if you want, we could set up a poll. You could write a persuasive entry to try to convince the readers to have me change it.

TINY TUNA :: Sounds great!

This is where you come in. On Easter I turn thirteen and will become a teenager. I think that my name could be changed, because it would fit me better. It's up to you readers. Should Greentuna change my name or not?

Tuna Tribulations

Evidently this is TinyTuna's version of a persuasive argument. Reading this, you'd think we had a lovely chat with pinkies raised whilst we sipped our tea and nibbled dainty finger sandwiches. Speaking as one who has lived it with for well over 13 years (she was like this BEFORE she came out, just in case you wondered), she is more obnoxious persuasive than this even when she's asleep. (-GT)



TINY TUNA :: Mom, can I ask you something?

GREEN TUNA :: Sure.

TINY TUNA :: You know on your blog how I'm known as Tiny tuna, well since I'm going to be thirteen on Easter Sunday, can you change it to Teen tuna?

GREEN TUNA :: **crickets** Well, maybe.

TINY TUNA :: (Slump)

GREEN TUNA :: But, if you want, we could set up a poll. You could write a persuasive entry to try to convince the readers to have me change it.

TINY TUNA :: Sounds great!

This is where you come in. On Easter I turn thirteen and will become a teenager. I think that my name could be changed, because it would fit me better. It's up to you readers. Should Greentuna change my name or not?

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about GREENTUNA
Thirteen Totally Necessary Guilty Pleasures


1. Savage Chickens
Savage Chickens is one of several comics I race to read every morning. It's funny. It's chickens.
2. Girl Scout Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cookies
I know these have a real name. But I can never remember the real name and truthfully don't really care what the real name is. Just make step away from the red box, and nobody gets hurt.
3. Caller ID
How fabulous is Caller ID? It does the dirty work for you, allowing you to either pick up immediately or start mocking the telemarketer on the other end while the phone rings and rings and rings. It's perfect for the passive-aggressive in all of us. Unknown number? Sorry, Charlie.
4. InnerTube
The Internets have gotten smart and have started to put entire TV episodes online. InnerTube is the brainchild of CBS, but the other major networks have joined in as well. Missed an episode of Survivor? Check it out. Watch the entire season of Heroes on NBC? Go for it. Fa-boo.
5. Epicurious.Com
Ahh, Epicurious. The website which saves me from slogging to my basement to thumb through cookbooks for a recipe that matches my daily version of refrigerator Bingo.
6. iTunes
I work in a music library. I already own more CDs than Moses, but I love to meander through iTunes to stumble across new music. It doesn't matter if it is pop, jazz, blues, classical or something else. iTunes is my sweet, musical crack.
7. My Remote
I remember the old days of the aerial antennae. I remember only having three channels and making that tough decision -- stay with the crap on CBS or turn the antenna, wait 3 minutes for it to travel (ka-CHUNK, ka-CHUNK, ka-CHUNK) 195 degrees just to see if something better might be on somewhere else. Now I have the blessed remote. Funny thing is, if I can't find my remote, my next step is to hunt for the remote because I am physically incapable of changing the channels without it.
8. Weekly Puzzle Pack
Every Wednesday is puzzle day. On Wednesday afternoon I amass a week's worth of online crossword and Sudoku puzzles for the GramTuna, Mo'Tuna and me. We spend the next week working through them at our leisure. Stuck somewhere? Bored? PuzzleTime!
9. Thursday Night Post-Choir Practice Bar Fellowship. Praise Jesus!
Which I totally missed last night because I was on carpool duty for TinyTuna and her cohort as they returned from their concert in Detroit. But when time allows, there is nothing more spiritual than a weekly reenactment of where three or four are gathered.... (there is usually a fifth).
10. Bathroom Potpourri
I do not mean the smelly variety. I mean the reading variety. I hate being stuck somewhere with nothing to do (see puzzlepack above), and that includes the bathroom, where yes, I'm technically doing something, but I am able to multitask. However, you can't read the same magazine for a month, so having a variety is the key.
11. Bubble Wrap
If it's within arms reach, I will pop it. One stinking bubble at a time.
12. Trillian
Trillian is the too-way-cool IM program that runs ICQ, AOL, Yahoo and MSN simultaneously. Now, if it could somehow get the Gmail chat program included, I'd be all set. Even without, Trillian is a lifesaver.
13. Tuna News
My little corner of the world. It's kind of nice here.



Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about GREENTUNA
Thirteen Totally Necessary Guilty Pleasures


1. Savage Chickens
Savage Chickens is one of several comics I race to read every morning. It's funny. It's chickens.
2. Girl Scout Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cookies
I know these have a real name. But I can never remember the real name and truthfully don't really care what the real name is. Just make step away from the red box, and nobody gets hurt.
3. Caller ID
How fabulous is Caller ID? It does the dirty work for you, allowing you to either pick up immediately or start mocking the telemarketer on the other end while the phone rings and rings and rings. It's perfect for the passive-aggressive in all of us. Unknown number? Sorry, Charlie.
4. InnerTube
The Internets have gotten smart and have started to put entire TV episodes online. InnerTube is the brainchild of CBS, but the other major networks have joined in as well. Missed an episode of Survivor? Check it out. Watch the entire season of Heroes on NBC? Go for it. Fa-boo.
5. Epicurious.Com
Ahh, Epicurious. The website which saves me from slogging to my basement to thumb through cookbooks for a recipe that matches my daily version of refrigerator Bingo.
6. iTunes
I work in a music library. I already own more CDs than Moses, but I love to meander through iTunes to stumble across new music. It doesn't matter if it is pop, jazz, blues, classical or something else. iTunes is my sweet, musical crack.
7. My Remote
I remember the old days of the aerial antennae. I remember only having three channels and making that tough decision -- stay with the crap on CBS or turn the antenna, wait 3 minutes for it to travel (ka-CHUNK, ka-CHUNK, ka-CHUNK) 195 degrees just to see if something better might be on somewhere else. Now I have the blessed remote. Funny thing is, if I can't find my remote, my next step is to hunt for the remote because I am physically incapable of changing the channels without it.
8. Weekly Puzzle Pack
Every Wednesday is puzzle day. On Wednesday afternoon I amass a week's worth of online crossword and Sudoku puzzles for the GramTuna, Mo'Tuna and me. We spend the next week working through them at our leisure. Stuck somewhere? Bored? PuzzleTime!
9. Thursday Night Post-Choir Practice Bar Fellowship. Praise Jesus!
Which I totally missed last night because I was on carpool duty for TinyTuna and her cohort as they returned from their concert in Detroit. But when time allows, there is nothing more spiritual than a weekly reenactment of where three or four are gathered.... (there is usually a fifth).
10. Bathroom Potpourri
I do not mean the smelly variety. I mean the reading variety. I hate being stuck somewhere with nothing to do (see puzzlepack above), and that includes the bathroom, where yes, I'm technically doing something, but I am able to multitask. However, you can't read the same magazine for a month, so having a variety is the key.
11. Bubble Wrap
If it's within arms reach, I will pop it. One stinking bubble at a time.
12. Trillian
Trillian is the too-way-cool IM program that runs ICQ, AOL, Yahoo and MSN simultaneously. Now, if it could somehow get the Gmail chat program included, I'd be all set. Even without, Trillian is a lifesaver.
13. Tuna News
My little corner of the world. It's kind of nice here.



Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Great Freds in History

Fred is winning. Go Fred!
Other great Freds:

1. Fred MacMurray
Sure, he was the Absent-Minded Professor, but that pales in comparison to his role My Three Sons. And if you ever watched this back in the old olden days, the mere mention of the title brings forth humming, foot tapping and that hands thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you missed a classic.

2. Fred the Library in Fred the Building
Located on the TunaU Campus, Fred is the illegal that which should not be spoken name for the newish Biomedical and Physical Sciences Building, and the library therein. Why Fred? Only four letters and one syllable, baby.

3. Fred the Plant in My Backyard
Fred the plant in the backyard is this THING that came from Yooperland. It grows approximately seven feet tall and has yellow pom-pom flowers on it. Fred is quite vigorous, and frankly, out of control. Just like a lot of other things in the backyard (see: Ginger the centennial rambling rose bush that lives next to Fred and tends to ramble far beyond her borders, and the yet to be named pussy willow, that at last glance was about 12 feet tall)

4. Fred Rogers
Complete with sweater and comfy shoes. Last week when I was teaching, I stopped mid-berating (sing, damn you, SING!) and listened to the quaint twinkle-dee-twinkle music invading my space. Out in the hallway a student was practicing on some sort of marimba type device. I looked at my student (who was grateful for the break) and said in a sickly-sweet voice, "You know, it's like teaching in Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, and the trolley is here ready to take us to the Land of Make-Believe."

So, I'm thinking Fred isn't so bad.

Fred
The Fredster
FredTuna
FreddyTuna
BigFT

It could work.

Great Freds in History

Fred is winning. Go Fred!
Other great Freds:

1. Fred MacMurray
Sure, he was the Absent-Minded Professor, but that pales in comparison to his role My Three Sons. And if you ever watched this back in the old olden days, the mere mention of the title brings forth humming, foot tapping and that hands thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you missed a classic.

2. Fred the Library in Fred the Building
Located on the TunaU Campus, Fred is the illegal that which should not be spoken name for the newish Biomedical and Physical Sciences Building, and the library therein. Why Fred? Only four letters and one syllable, baby.

3. Fred the Plant in My Backyard
Fred the plant in the backyard is this THING that came from Yooperland. It grows approximately seven feet tall and has yellow pom-pom flowers on it. Fred is quite vigorous, and frankly, out of control. Just like a lot of other things in the backyard (see: Ginger the centennial rambling rose bush that lives next to Fred and tends to ramble far beyond her borders, and the yet to be named pussy willow, that at last glance was about 12 feet tall)

4. Fred Rogers
Complete with sweater and comfy shoes. Last week when I was teaching, I stopped mid-berating (sing, damn you, SING!) and listened to the quaint twinkle-dee-twinkle music invading my space. Out in the hallway a student was practicing on some sort of marimba type device. I looked at my student (who was grateful for the break) and said in a sickly-sweet voice, "You know, it's like teaching in Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, and the trolley is here ready to take us to the Land of Make-Believe."

So, I'm thinking Fred isn't so bad.

Fred
The Fredster
FredTuna
FreddyTuna
BigFT

It could work.

Name That Tuna

To the left you may notice a wee tiny poll on my wee tiny blog, posted on behalf of TinyTuna, my wee tiny pain in the butt. As I mentioned last week, La Tuna has been bucking for a name in my corner of the Internets. She feels she is deserving of such change because in less than two weeks, she will be of age that ends in teen.

She wants to be TeenTuna.

I, of course, am not thrilled with this course of events. Which course? All of them. Her birthday. Her birth-TEENTH-day. Her shunning my Tiny moniker as if I'd been calling her HitlerTuna all these years. And maybe worst of all, the fact that she is WAY too smart for her own good, and decided to enlist the one advocate that just might be my achilles heel.

She went to Scout. And told him her sob story.
And he agreed with her.
Bleah.

Luckily for me, I am both a black-hearted soprano and a mother which pretty much makes me VOLCANO in most discussions. However, make it look like I'm appeasing both TinyTuna and the TraitorScout, I told them I would put up a poll on my blog and we could give all y'all a say in the matter. I also told TinyTuna that she would need to write a persuasive argument and I would post it here. However, her calendar looks like death for the next week, so while she is busy rehearsing and Transmigrating with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, please imagine lots begging and pleading, accompanied by wild arm motions with the words "SO TOTALLY" thrown in dramatically for extra redundant dramatical goodness.

The poll only offers a few choices

• TinyTuna - it was good enough before...
• TeenyTuna - My offer of compromise which was SO TOTALLY turned down.
• TeenTuna - Her choice.
• Fred - No explanation necessary.

but if you have other ideas, leave it in the comments, and who knows, maybe y'all might convince me that a change is so totally in order.

As if.

Name That Tuna

To the left you may notice a wee tiny poll on my wee tiny blog, posted on behalf of TinyTuna, my wee tiny pain in the butt. As I mentioned last week, La Tuna has been bucking for a name in my corner of the Internets. She feels she is deserving of such change because in less than two weeks, she will be of age that ends in teen.

She wants to be TeenTuna.

I, of course, am not thrilled with this course of events. Which course? All of them. Her birthday. Her birth-TEENTH-day. Her shunning my Tiny moniker as if I'd been calling her HitlerTuna all these years. And maybe worst of all, the fact that she is WAY too smart for her own good, and decided to enlist the one advocate that just might be my achilles heel.

She went to Scout. And told him her sob story.
And he agreed with her.
Bleah.

Luckily for me, I am both a black-hearted soprano and a mother which pretty much makes me VOLCANO in most discussions. However, make it look like I'm appeasing both TinyTuna and the TraitorScout, I told them I would put up a poll on my blog and we could give all y'all a say in the matter. I also told TinyTuna that she would need to write a persuasive argument and I would post it here. However, her calendar looks like death for the next week, so while she is busy rehearsing and Transmigrating with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, please imagine lots begging and pleading, accompanied by wild arm motions with the words "SO TOTALLY" thrown in dramatically for extra redundant dramatical goodness.

The poll only offers a few choices

• TinyTuna - it was good enough before...
• TeenyTuna - My offer of compromise which was SO TOTALLY turned down.
• TeenTuna - Her choice.
• Fred - No explanation necessary.

but if you have other ideas, leave it in the comments, and who knows, maybe y'all might convince me that a change is so totally in order.

As if.

Movie Madness

I realize the Oscars are long gone and after a month, I'm still sucking wind with only 12 correct answers. But since the little naked guys got passed out, I have seen a few more movies, including several shorts that iTunes so graciously made available AFTER IT WAS TOO LATE.



Danish Poet
Nominated (Won) : Best Animated Short. Here is a prime example of if I would have seen it, I would have picked it. This is quite simply an utterly charming story. After showing it to TinyTuna (I LOVE IT!!!!) I didn't see my iPod for the next week. It's a story of love and how all the seemingly random events and coincidences of life interweave and form a new thread. Funny, charming, sweet. Awesome cameo by a cow. Yes, it's really that good. Worth all 199 pennies.


Binta and the Great Idea
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. Kids were cute. Seemed sweet, but honestly, I'm just not sure I got it. Or maybe I got everything there was to get. Sadly, meh.


Eramos Pocos (One Too Many)
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. A rather hysterical story of an abandoned father and his grown son that I do not want to give away. It certainly wasn't profound in subject matter, but seemed well-done on it's own level. Up against a live-action short dealing with AIDS in China, I'm not surprised this film didn't win.


Saviour
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. A movie about Mormons. I have nothing against Mormons, but this seemed rather pointless and there was an egregious lack of daffodils. Pass.


Helmer & Son
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. Again, a hysterical story of a father living in a care facility and his children. Again, I'm not surprised this didn't win, but I will admit to a loud guffaw at the end. Fun film.


Superman Returns
Nominated (Lost) : Achievement in Visual Effects. Laying my biases on the table ahead of time, I never saw any of the other Superman movies, although I may have parts of a Christopher Reeve version flipping through TV channels. So, not having seen anything leading up to this epic THING, the first thing I learned was that I never knew Superman LEFT. But he did. He left so he could return and they could make a movie. The next thing I learned about Superman is that he's really Jesus. No, really. He's Jesus with lycra, a cape and no sandals. Because if you recall, Jesus left. And then returned. And he was sent by his father. Superman, that is. And Jesus. Confused? Just read the Bible and put on a John Williams soundtrack, and you'll get the picture.


Amazing Grace
Nominated for Nothing. We've exited Oscarville and returned to the land of somewhat recent releases. Amazing Grace tells the story of William Wilberforce and his drive to abolish the Slave Trade in England during the 18th century. A bit dry, a bit slow-moving at first, it picked up pace a bit into the film and ended up being a very compelling drama. TinyTuna loved it, and how great was it that this movie dealt with historical events and the story of someone fighting for a better world? No cape required. Besides, a Scottish Pipe Band is like Volcano when it's up against a John Williams soundtrack. Definitely worth a look-see.

Movie Madness

I realize the Oscars are long gone and after a month, I'm still sucking wind with only 12 correct answers. But since the little naked guys got passed out, I have seen a few more movies, including several shorts that iTunes so graciously made available AFTER IT WAS TOO LATE.



Danish Poet
Nominated (Won) : Best Animated Short. Here is a prime example of if I would have seen it, I would have picked it. This is quite simply an utterly charming story. After showing it to TinyTuna (I LOVE IT!!!!) I didn't see my iPod for the next week. It's a story of love and how all the seemingly random events and coincidences of life interweave and form a new thread. Funny, charming, sweet. Awesome cameo by a cow. Yes, it's really that good. Worth all 199 pennies.


Binta and the Great Idea
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. Kids were cute. Seemed sweet, but honestly, I'm just not sure I got it. Or maybe I got everything there was to get. Sadly, meh.


Eramos Pocos (One Too Many)
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. A rather hysterical story of an abandoned father and his grown son that I do not want to give away. It certainly wasn't profound in subject matter, but seemed well-done on it's own level. Up against a live-action short dealing with AIDS in China, I'm not surprised this film didn't win.


Saviour
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. A movie about Mormons. I have nothing against Mormons, but this seemed rather pointless and there was an egregious lack of daffodils. Pass.


Helmer & Son
Nominated (Lost) : Best Live-Action Short. Again, a hysterical story of a father living in a care facility and his children. Again, I'm not surprised this didn't win, but I will admit to a loud guffaw at the end. Fun film.


Superman Returns
Nominated (Lost) : Achievement in Visual Effects. Laying my biases on the table ahead of time, I never saw any of the other Superman movies, although I may have parts of a Christopher Reeve version flipping through TV channels. So, not having seen anything leading up to this epic THING, the first thing I learned was that I never knew Superman LEFT. But he did. He left so he could return and they could make a movie. The next thing I learned about Superman is that he's really Jesus. No, really. He's Jesus with lycra, a cape and no sandals. Because if you recall, Jesus left. And then returned. And he was sent by his father. Superman, that is. And Jesus. Confused? Just read the Bible and put on a John Williams soundtrack, and you'll get the picture.


Amazing Grace
Nominated for Nothing. We've exited Oscarville and returned to the land of somewhat recent releases. Amazing Grace tells the story of William Wilberforce and his drive to abolish the Slave Trade in England during the 18th century. A bit dry, a bit slow-moving at first, it picked up pace a bit into the film and ended up being a very compelling drama. TinyTuna loved it, and how great was it that this movie dealt with historical events and the story of someone fighting for a better world? No cape required. Besides, a Scottish Pipe Band is like Volcano when it's up against a John Williams soundtrack. Definitely worth a look-see.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say .... And You Think:
With an alternative universe inspired answer

1. Groovy :: Cool
Johnny Bravo. Because he fit the suit.

2. Jealousy :: Green
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

3. Watching :: And Waiting
Alice. She didn't have much else to do.

4. Kenny :: Oh my God, You Killed....!
Sorry. Even dead, Kenny is too cool to live in Brady-ville.

5. Games :: People Play
Will it be a row boat or a sewing machine? Let's build a house of cards!

6. Bread :: And Butter
Alice. Well, she did have to cook.

7. City :: Metropolis
Take a tour in the groovy (!) two-toned, wood-paneled station wagon.

8. Stems :: Flowers
Tiger dug them up and hid Kitty Carry-All. Oh, the humanity!

9. Birds :: Cardinals, Blue Jays and Finches, Oh My!
uhhhhhhhhhhh....I got nothing here.

10. Listener :: It's important to be a good one
All adults on the show. Alice in the kitchen. Mr. Brady at his architect's desk. Mrs. Brady in the family room. Sam .... at the front door?


Not much to add here, except to point out the obvious:
I need to get out more.

Please, you can do a better job HERE.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say .... And You Think:
With an alternative universe inspired answer

1. Groovy :: Cool
Johnny Bravo. Because he fit the suit.

2. Jealousy :: Green
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

3. Watching :: And Waiting
Alice. She didn't have much else to do.

4. Kenny :: Oh my God, You Killed....!
Sorry. Even dead, Kenny is too cool to live in Brady-ville.

5. Games :: People Play
Will it be a row boat or a sewing machine? Let's build a house of cards!

6. Bread :: And Butter
Alice. Well, she did have to cook.

7. City :: Metropolis
Take a tour in the groovy (!) two-toned, wood-paneled station wagon.

8. Stems :: Flowers
Tiger dug them up and hid Kitty Carry-All. Oh, the humanity!

9. Birds :: Cardinals, Blue Jays and Finches, Oh My!
uhhhhhhhhhhh....I got nothing here.

10. Listener :: It's important to be a good one
All adults on the show. Alice in the kitchen. Mr. Brady at his architect's desk. Mrs. Brady in the family room. Sam .... at the front door?


Not much to add here, except to point out the obvious:
I need to get out more.

Please, you can do a better job HERE.

Role Models

After hearing TinyTuna's school choir perform yesterday, GramTuna and I were telling TinyTuna how lucky she was. Not only are her school choir director, her school orchestra director and her Children's Choir director fantastic musicians in their own right, they understand the dynamics of their particular group and are successful because they recognize that kids possess enormous potential to do amazing things, and that hard work isn't a bad thing -- it's THE thing you need to achieve your goal. Because of this, each of these groups consistently perform at a very high level, giving the kids a real sense of accomplishment.

As we were talking about this, I ticked off the names of each of her teachers: Mrs. B, Miss K and Mrs. S. I told TinyTuna that not only were all these women outstanding musicians and educators, they were also excellent role models.

TinyTuna looked at me and said, "But you forgot one."

"I did?"

"Yeah."

"Who did I forget?"

"You."

I smiled at TinyTuna and thanked her.
That's my kid.

Role Models

After hearing TinyTuna's school choir perform yesterday, GramTuna and I were telling TinyTuna how lucky she was. Not only are her school choir director, her school orchestra director and her Children's Choir director fantastic musicians in their own right, they understand the dynamics of their particular group and are successful because they recognize that kids possess enormous potential to do amazing things, and that hard work isn't a bad thing -- it's THE thing you need to achieve your goal. Because of this, each of these groups consistently perform at a very high level, giving the kids a real sense of accomplishment.

As we were talking about this, I ticked off the names of each of her teachers: Mrs. B, Miss K and Mrs. S. I told TinyTuna that not only were all these women outstanding musicians and educators, they were also excellent role models.

TinyTuna looked at me and said, "But you forgot one."

"I did?"

"Yeah."

"Who did I forget?"

"You."

I smiled at TinyTuna and thanked her.
That's my kid.

Friday's Feast

Because I'm bored.

Appetizer: Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter and why?
This question is going to bring on a rampage of who-cares kind of arguments. The very VERY best news reporter award always and forever must go to the hurricane-covering idiot telling us it's windy and rainy outside while hanging on to a telephone pole for dear life. Classic.


Soup: Name Three Foods That Are In Your Freezer.

• No, I Don't Have Ice
• Neapolitan (new ice cream)
  Ratio: 5% strawberry, 10% chocolate, 85% vanilla
• Tastes like Box (old ice cream)
  Ratio: 100% yuck

Salad: If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it?
JustSendMeMoneyAndStayHomesville


Main Course: What will most likely be the next book you read?
Not counting the 97 that are currently in process? Two top contenders in the on-deck circle include:

Three Cups of Tea
by Greg Mortenson

and

Enslaved by Ducks

by Bob Tarte

Dessert: What's the first thing you generally notice about the opposite gender?
That they're the opposite gender.

Friday's Feast

Because I'm bored.

Appetizer: Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter and why?
This question is going to bring on a rampage of who-cares kind of arguments. The very VERY best news reporter award always and forever must go to the hurricane-covering idiot telling us it's windy and rainy outside while hanging on to a telephone pole for dear life. Classic.


Soup: Name Three Foods That Are In Your Freezer.

• No, I Don't Have Ice
• Neapolitan (new ice cream)
  Ratio: 5% strawberry, 10% chocolate, 85% vanilla
• Tastes like Box (old ice cream)
  Ratio: 100% yuck

Salad: If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it?
JustSendMeMoneyAndStayHomesville


Main Course: What will most likely be the next book you read?
Not counting the 97 that are currently in process? Two top contenders in the on-deck circle include:

Three Cups of Tea
by Greg Mortenson

and

Enslaved by Ducks

by Bob Tarte

Dessert: What's the first thing you generally notice about the opposite gender?
That they're the opposite gender.

Stumbling for Dummies

While looking through the local newspaper today at lunch, I read an article detailing the legal wrap-up of a local case in which a not-terribly-bright University student embezzled in excess of $20,000 from a local big box type store. Said student pleaded guilty and was ordered to make full restitution, spend a couple weekends in jail, and serve five years on probation, at which time the charge will be ERASED.

That whole "it never really happened" part aside, what caught my eye in this particular case were several quotes from the not-terribly-bright University student's lawyer.

"All of us have stumbled on the road of life. All of us have our little trips on the road of life. This is just a stumble on the road of life for her."

I was flabbergasted. Here I am, many, MANY years older than this not-terribly-bright University student, and sure, I have stumbled on the road of life. But comparatively speaking, my sins equate to driving on the rumble-strips on the shoulder of the road of life, while she's driving a Hummer in the HOV lane with the cruise control set at 85mph.

How sad is it when you discover that even as a stumbler, you're nothing but a slacker?

Next time I'll know to aim higher.

Stumbling for Dummies

While looking through the local newspaper today at lunch, I read an article detailing the legal wrap-up of a local case in which a not-terribly-bright University student embezzled in excess of $20,000 from a local big box type store. Said student pleaded guilty and was ordered to make full restitution, spend a couple weekends in jail, and serve five years on probation, at which time the charge will be ERASED.

That whole "it never really happened" part aside, what caught my eye in this particular case were several quotes from the not-terribly-bright University student's lawyer.

"All of us have stumbled on the road of life. All of us have our little trips on the road of life. This is just a stumble on the road of life for her."

I was flabbergasted. Here I am, many, MANY years older than this not-terribly-bright University student, and sure, I have stumbled on the road of life. But comparatively speaking, my sins equate to driving on the rumble-strips on the shoulder of the road of life, while she's driving a Hummer in the HOV lane with the cruise control set at 85mph.

How sad is it when you discover that even as a stumbler, you're nothing but a slacker?

Next time I'll know to aim higher.

Search and Rescue

One of my morning rituals is after my shower I am required to "play toys" with Gabby, the cat. I know it's a "play toys" morning when she smashes her way into the closed bathroom door (which is every morning) and starts mrrrrrOWWWWing at me with a great gusto that only means "will you please MOVE IT ALONG SO WE CAN GO PLAY TOYS?"

Playing toys has specific rules. I gather up a few of the more favored toys (that I can find) and stand at one end of the living room. Gabby waits at the other end of the living room right at the opening of the kitchen. I am required to hurl the toys -- one at a time -- into the kitchen and she chases them. When she is done batting it around, she will stare at me, and I will toss another one. This happens until I've exhausted the toys on hand. Then we switch. I walk into the kitchen, and she runs halfway into the living room. I then repeat by throwing toys one at a time into the other end of the living room and she will chase them until she's ready to switch again or she's bored, though frankly, with cats, it's nearly impossible to to tell the difference.

I like playing toys, because I never get tired of watching my cat run 90 mph from the carpeted living room onto the tiled kitchen floor and smash into the counters. You'd think she'd remember by this time that cats got no traction in the kitchen, but after hundreds of sessions of "play toys" there admittedly might be some brain damage going on.

Last Saturday, Gabby decided, somewhat uncharachteristically, that she wanted to play toys at night. So I grabbed a couple of colorful mice and tossed them into the kitchen. After smashing into the cabinets yet again (yay!) she managed to bat the thing under the stove. Feeling somewhat kindly I decided that I would grab a yardstick and fish it out.

Oh. My. God.

Found underneath my stove were seemingly hundreds of cat toys, one (and only one) child's flip flop, way, carbon-dated to circa TinyTuna, 3rd grade, one People Magazine (and I don't even BUY People Magazine) and one thriving colony of Dust Wookies.

Once I finished fishing all that out, I figured I was on a roll and should take a gander at what might be living under the refrigerator. Found were several more cat toys and a smaller, cuter colony of Dust Ewoks.

Only thing missing? Jimmy Hoffa.

Search and Rescue

One of my morning rituals is after my shower I am required to "play toys" with Gabby, the cat. I know it's a "play toys" morning when she smashes her way into the closed bathroom door (which is every morning) and starts mrrrrrOWWWWing at me with a great gusto that only means "will you please MOVE IT ALONG SO WE CAN GO PLAY TOYS?"

Playing toys has specific rules. I gather up a few of the more favored toys (that I can find) and stand at one end of the living room. Gabby waits at the other end of the living room right at the opening of the kitchen. I am required to hurl the toys -- one at a time -- into the kitchen and she chases them. When she is done batting it around, she will stare at me, and I will toss another one. This happens until I've exhausted the toys on hand. Then we switch. I walk into the kitchen, and she runs halfway into the living room. I then repeat by throwing toys one at a time into the other end of the living room and she will chase them until she's ready to switch again or she's bored, though frankly, with cats, it's nearly impossible to to tell the difference.

I like playing toys, because I never get tired of watching my cat run 90 mph from the carpeted living room onto the tiled kitchen floor and smash into the counters. You'd think she'd remember by this time that cats got no traction in the kitchen, but after hundreds of sessions of "play toys" there admittedly might be some brain damage going on.

Last Saturday, Gabby decided, somewhat uncharachteristically, that she wanted to play toys at night. So I grabbed a couple of colorful mice and tossed them into the kitchen. After smashing into the cabinets yet again (yay!) she managed to bat the thing under the stove. Feeling somewhat kindly I decided that I would grab a yardstick and fish it out.

Oh. My. God.

Found underneath my stove were seemingly hundreds of cat toys, one (and only one) child's flip flop, way, carbon-dated to circa TinyTuna, 3rd grade, one People Magazine (and I don't even BUY People Magazine) and one thriving colony of Dust Wookies.

Once I finished fishing all that out, I figured I was on a roll and should take a gander at what might be living under the refrigerator. Found were several more cat toys and a smaller, cuter colony of Dust Ewoks.

Only thing missing? Jimmy Hoffa.

International Hops of Pancakes

I suppose if I were to be honest, I would have to admit that the ratio of posting one picture of a rabbit with a pancake on its head over the course of fourteen days doesn't exactly qualify as regular blogging, even though I really, really like the picture.

It just seems to be that in between time of year. Winter is winding down, except when it's not. Last week we hit mid-60s, the crocus were blooming and other spring nubbins were promising that spring was coming. This morning we got snow.

Two steps forward, one step back.

TinyTuna, thirteen days out from demanding a Blog name change to TeenTuna (sorry kiddo, it's not going to happen) continues to bounce erratically and irrationally from being a funny, thoughtful, polite and intelligent child to being the spawn of Satan.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Teaching is both tedious and inspiring. Students are tired. GreenTuna is tired. The commute is a drag. But inevitably by the end of the day, I'm more heartened than disheartened, I really enjoy I'm doing, and I'm encouraged by the work the kids have done this semester and the music they're making.

Two steps forward, one step back.

I'm forever cleaning my house. The piles are getting smaller, and I'm getting bolder with my tossing abilities. This skill will become critical when I finish the upstairs and must once and for all tackle the basement. I'd like the luxury of selecting what I keep and toss based on need, want and space, without a flood making the moldy, wet, stinky choices for me. Still, I'm surrounded by scraps of junk that must be sorted, filed or tossed. This weekend GramTuna and I blitzed the local Home and Garden Show, getting ideas and grabbing freebies. Later that afternoon I came across a $1 off coupon for the same Home and Garden Show. Sadly it was for the 2003 Home and Garden Show.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Sometimes this constant lack of 100% forward progress is discouraging. My unrealistic Oompah-Loompah tendencies want it done, and want it done NOW. But in my young old-age, I'm becoming a little more philosophical about the whole thing. During this time of not-quite winter, not-quite spring, It seems that two steps forward, one step back isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just ask the maple trees. Without both cold, cold nights and warmer days, the sap-tapping season would be a bust and bunny would have no syrup for his pancake. So I do what I can when I can, and know that warmer, more productive days just around the corner.

Let's hope they don't slip on the ice.

International Hops of Pancakes

I suppose if I were to be honest, I would have to admit that the ratio of posting one picture of a rabbit with a pancake on its head over the course of fourteen days doesn't exactly qualify as regular blogging, even though I really, really like the picture.

It just seems to be that in between time of year. Winter is winding down, except when it's not. Last week we hit mid-60s, the crocus were blooming and other spring nubbins were promising that spring was coming. This morning we got snow.

Two steps forward, one step back.

TinyTuna, thirteen days out from demanding a Blog name change to TeenTuna (sorry kiddo, it's not going to happen) continues to bounce erratically and irrationally from being a funny, thoughtful, polite and intelligent child to being the spawn of Satan.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Teaching is both tedious and inspiring. Students are tired. GreenTuna is tired. The commute is a drag. But inevitably by the end of the day, I'm more heartened than disheartened, I really enjoy I'm doing, and I'm encouraged by the work the kids have done this semester and the music they're making.

Two steps forward, one step back.

I'm forever cleaning my house. The piles are getting smaller, and I'm getting bolder with my tossing abilities. This skill will become critical when I finish the upstairs and must once and for all tackle the basement. I'd like the luxury of selecting what I keep and toss based on need, want and space, without a flood making the moldy, wet, stinky choices for me. Still, I'm surrounded by scraps of junk that must be sorted, filed or tossed. This weekend GramTuna and I blitzed the local Home and Garden Show, getting ideas and grabbing freebies. Later that afternoon I came across a $1 off coupon for the same Home and Garden Show. Sadly it was for the 2003 Home and Garden Show.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Sometimes this constant lack of 100% forward progress is discouraging. My unrealistic Oompah-Loompah tendencies want it done, and want it done NOW. But in my young old-age, I'm becoming a little more philosophical about the whole thing. During this time of not-quite winter, not-quite spring, It seems that two steps forward, one step back isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just ask the maple trees. Without both cold, cold nights and warmer days, the sap-tapping season would be a bust and bunny would have no syrup for his pancake. So I do what I can when I can, and know that warmer, more productive days just around the corner.

Let's hope they don't slip on the ice.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... And You Think:

1. San Francisco : : Rice-A-Roni

2. Sadness :: Misery

3. Spirits :: Liquor

4. Harriet :: The Spy

5. State :: Of the Union

6. John :: Brown Had a Little Indian

7. Offense :: Sin

8. Timeless :: Eternal

9. Account :: Bank

10. Refuse :: No way, Jose


I believe this week is the insane politically incorrect version of Unconscious Mutterings, but I've decided to let them stand, exactly as my warped brain intended. Between John Brown and his one little, two little, three little Indians (I have no clue as to the origins of that song, and neither do the Internets) and the ever-popular No Way, Jose, I'm sure I've offended people right and left. Kind readers, forgive me my offenses. I promise to behave if you'll allow me to calm my misery with some liquored-up spirits, and permit me to spend eternity in San Francisco, eating boxed rice and reading Harriet, The Spy.

You can take that to the bank.

I bet you can mutter better than I can...HERE.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... And You Think:

1. San Francisco : : Rice-A-Roni

2. Sadness :: Misery

3. Spirits :: Liquor

4. Harriet :: The Spy

5. State :: Of the Union

6. John :: Brown Had a Little Indian

7. Offense :: Sin

8. Timeless :: Eternal

9. Account :: Bank

10. Refuse :: No way, Jose


I believe this week is the insane politically incorrect version of Unconscious Mutterings, but I've decided to let them stand, exactly as my warped brain intended. Between John Brown and his one little, two little, three little Indians (I have no clue as to the origins of that song, and neither do the Internets) and the ever-popular No Way, Jose, I'm sure I've offended people right and left. Kind readers, forgive me my offenses. I promise to behave if you'll allow me to calm my misery with some liquored-up spirits, and permit me to spend eternity in San Francisco, eating boxed rice and reading Harriet, The Spy.

You can take that to the bank.

I bet you can mutter better than I can...HERE.

Modern Medicine

Last Thursday afternoon, TinyTuna called after school and asked if she could be picked up early because she had a headache. She usually stays after school for an hour to do homework in the library or practice. Most likely what she's doing is giggling with her friends while it looks like she's doing homework or practicing, but that's another story. GramTuna dashed out and got her, and when they got home she gave her some Gram aspirin, because evidently mine had expired oh, 2+ years ago. I guess it pays to have such a calm and cool demeanor that one isn't even able to finish a bottle of aspirin in time. HA!

Yesterday a new bottle of aspirin was purchased, and Gram, TinyTuna and I were discussing school and medicine. I confirmed with TinyTuna that she wasn't allowed to carry aspirin in her backpack or keep it in her locker. She told me no, she would get in HUGE trouble. I shook my head, but wasn't surprised. I asked her if she could ever get an aspirin in the nurse's office. She gave me the oh you sad, silly mother who knows nothing look and said, "If you're sick and need something at school, you only have two choices."

"And those are....?"

"A band-aid or a bucket."

Modern Medicine

Last Thursday afternoon, TinyTuna called after school and asked if she could be picked up early because she had a headache. She usually stays after school for an hour to do homework in the library or practice. Most likely what she's doing is giggling with her friends while it looks like she's doing homework or practicing, but that's another story. GramTuna dashed out and got her, and when they got home she gave her some Gram aspirin, because evidently mine had expired oh, 2+ years ago. I guess it pays to have such a calm and cool demeanor that one isn't even able to finish a bottle of aspirin in time. HA!

Yesterday a new bottle of aspirin was purchased, and Gram, TinyTuna and I were discussing school and medicine. I confirmed with TinyTuna that she wasn't allowed to carry aspirin in her backpack or keep it in her locker. She told me no, she would get in HUGE trouble. I shook my head, but wasn't surprised. I asked her if she could ever get an aspirin in the nurse's office. She gave me the oh you sad, silly mother who knows nothing look and said, "If you're sick and need something at school, you only have two choices."

"And those are....?"

"A band-aid or a bucket."

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... And You Think:

1. Nude :: Naked

2. Support :: Hose

3. Rachel :: Ray

4. Crane :: Bird

5. Candy Bar :: Milky Way

6. Material :: Girl

7. Mind Games :: I have better things to do than play --

8. Eviction :: Get OUT!

9. Produce :: Lettuce (ps. you CAN rip it!)

10. Joke :: I love 'em, just can't tell 'em.


Well, this is obviously the and this is why you shouldn't mutter at 6am version of Unconscious Mutterings. With such stellar combinations of Support Hose, Rachel Ray and Material Girl, I think maybe I should just go back to bed.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... And You Think:

1. Nude :: Naked

2. Support :: Hose

3. Rachel :: Ray

4. Crane :: Bird

5. Candy Bar :: Milky Way

6. Material :: Girl

7. Mind Games :: I have better things to do than play --

8. Eviction :: Get OUT!

9. Produce :: Lettuce (ps. you CAN rip it!)

10. Joke :: I love 'em, just can't tell 'em.


Well, this is obviously the and this is why you shouldn't mutter at 6am version of Unconscious Mutterings. With such stellar combinations of Support Hose, Rachel Ray and Material Girl, I think maybe I should just go back to bed.

From the Ironic Files

Last week (or maybe just a few days ago) there was an enormous brouhaha in New York City as what seemed to be a large colony of rats had invaded a local Taco Bell. As soon as I had heard about this story I had to stampede over to YouTube to see if I could find a clip.

The Tubes, they will never forsake you.



I was rightly and sufficiently grossed out, because as the song goes, I don't mind spiders and snakes, but Tuna don't do rodents. Never. Ever. Even in a garage (which yes, is outside in their own habitat, but hey, it's not a mouse hotel, it's a storage unit for old furniture and gardening equipment) I don't like them, not one little bit.

Anyway, the best part of the whole story was the shock and dismay expressed by the parent company that represents a trifecta of gastronomical nightmares, namely, KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. The spokesperson went on and on about the high standards they set and how the rat problem was unacceptable.

But the VERY BEST part of the whole story was the name of the Parent Company:

YUM FOODS.

Guess it was easier to market than

Bleeuuuaughhhh foods

Or

OH CRAP, IT'S RATS!

Or

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT RODENTS

Or

Vernon's Vermin Vittles

Or

I'd rather have Snakes on a Plane

Or

RUN!

Yum Foods. Hee.

From the Ironic Files

Last week (or maybe just a few days ago) there was an enormous brouhaha in New York City as what seemed to be a large colony of rats had invaded a local Taco Bell. As soon as I had heard about this story I had to stampede over to YouTube to see if I could find a clip.

The Tubes, they will never forsake you.



I was rightly and sufficiently grossed out, because as the song goes, I don't mind spiders and snakes, but Tuna don't do rodents. Never. Ever. Even in a garage (which yes, is outside in their own habitat, but hey, it's not a mouse hotel, it's a storage unit for old furniture and gardening equipment) I don't like them, not one little bit.

Anyway, the best part of the whole story was the shock and dismay expressed by the parent company that represents a trifecta of gastronomical nightmares, namely, KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. The spokesperson went on and on about the high standards they set and how the rat problem was unacceptable.

But the VERY BEST part of the whole story was the name of the Parent Company:

YUM FOODS.

Guess it was easier to market than

Bleeuuuaughhhh foods

Or

OH CRAP, IT'S RATS!

Or

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT RODENTS

Or

Vernon's Vermin Vittles

Or

I'd rather have Snakes on a Plane

Or

RUN!

Yum Foods. Hee.

Friday's Feast

Today's Super Special Pictorial Version is a Feast for your Eyes. Anybody hungry?


Appetizer: What does the color pink make you think of?

EASTER PEEPS!!!

Soup: Name something you thought you had lost, but later found.

My other sock.
(Too bad this one isn't mine)

Salad: In Three Words, Describe This Past Week


Needed
More
Cowbell

Main Course: What are you obsesssed with?Dessert: What kind of perfume or cologne do you like to wear?

Not in a bottle
Flowers, Air, Soil and Sunshine
Nothing smells sweeter

Friday's Feast

Today's Super Special Pictorial Version is a Feast for your Eyes. Anybody hungry?


Appetizer: What does the color pink make you think of?

EASTER PEEPS!!!

Soup: Name something you thought you had lost, but later found.

My other sock.
(Too bad this one isn't mine)

Salad: In Three Words, Describe This Past Week


Needed
More
Cowbell

Main Course: What are you obsesssed with?Dessert: What kind of perfume or cologne do you like to wear?

Not in a bottle
Flowers, Air, Soil and Sunshine
Nothing smells sweeter

Failures in Parenting, Chapter 96

TinyTuna: I'm hungry.

GreenTuna: Make a snack.

TinyTuna: (going for the bag of Doritos)

GreenTuna: No junk.

TinyTuna: Popcorn?

GreenTuna: No.

TinyTuna: (here builds the pre-adult angst, complete with heaving sighs, crossed arms and the ever-popular indignant jacking of the hips)
WELL, WHAT ELSE IS THERE???

GreenTuna: Cheese?

TinyTuna: No.

GreenTuna: Half a PB & J sandwich?

TinyTuna: No.

GreenTuna: Make a salad?

TinyTuna: No lettuce.

GreenTuna: Yes there is.

TinyTuna: No there's not.

GreenTuna: Yes THERE IS.

TinyTuna: No THERE'S NOT.

GreenTuna: (Opening the refrigerator and making a grand gesture) BEHOLD! An Entire Head of Lettuce in all of its lettucy glory!

TinyTuna: What am I supposed to do with it?

GreenTuna: What do you mean what are you supposed to do with it?

TinyTuna: I can't use that!

GreenTuna: Why not?

TinyTuna: Like that?

GreenTuna: Like WHAT?

TinyTuna: (flailing at the offending lettuce) THAT!!!

GreenTuna: WHAT??? There's nothing wrong with it!

TinyTuna: It's not cut up.

GreenTuna: It's not WHAT?

TinyTuna: Cut Up.

GreenTuna: So?

TinyTuna: SO WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

GreenTuna: Rip it up!

TinyTuna: How?

GreenTuna: Are you SERIOUS?

TinyTuna: I've never ripped lettuce before.

GreenTuna: Good grief. Take the lettuce, grab it and pull it apart. It's not hard. It's lettuce, for crying out loud.

TinyTuna: WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
IT'S ALWAYS CUT UP IN A BAG!!

**crickets**
END SCENE

Note: Having already read "Huckleberry Finn" I knew better than to whitewash fences OR make a pre-adult's salad. So, I gave TinyTuna an emergency lesson in lettuce ripping. Immediately thereafter she made her salad all-by-herself. Crisis averted.

Failures in Parenting, Chapter 96

TinyTuna: I'm hungry.

GreenTuna: Make a snack.

TinyTuna: (going for the bag of Doritos)

GreenTuna: No junk.

TinyTuna: Popcorn?

GreenTuna: No.

TinyTuna: (here builds the pre-adult angst, complete with heaving sighs, crossed arms and the ever-popular indignant jacking of the hips)
WELL, WHAT ELSE IS THERE???

GreenTuna: Cheese?

TinyTuna: No.

GreenTuna: Half a PB & J sandwich?

TinyTuna: No.

GreenTuna: Make a salad?

TinyTuna: No lettuce.

GreenTuna: Yes there is.

TinyTuna: No there's not.

GreenTuna: Yes THERE IS.

TinyTuna: No THERE'S NOT.

GreenTuna: (Opening the refrigerator and making a grand gesture) BEHOLD! An Entire Head of Lettuce in all of its lettucy glory!

TinyTuna: What am I supposed to do with it?

GreenTuna: What do you mean what are you supposed to do with it?

TinyTuna: I can't use that!

GreenTuna: Why not?

TinyTuna: Like that?

GreenTuna: Like WHAT?

TinyTuna: (flailing at the offending lettuce) THAT!!!

GreenTuna: WHAT??? There's nothing wrong with it!

TinyTuna: It's not cut up.

GreenTuna: It's not WHAT?

TinyTuna: Cut Up.

GreenTuna: So?

TinyTuna: SO WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

GreenTuna: Rip it up!

TinyTuna: How?

GreenTuna: Are you SERIOUS?

TinyTuna: I've never ripped lettuce before.

GreenTuna: Good grief. Take the lettuce, grab it and pull it apart. It's not hard. It's lettuce, for crying out loud.

TinyTuna: WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
IT'S ALWAYS CUT UP IN A BAG!!

**crickets**
END SCENE

Note: Having already read "Huckleberry Finn" I knew better than to whitewash fences OR make a pre-adult's salad. So, I gave TinyTuna an emergency lesson in lettuce ripping. Immediately thereafter she made her salad all-by-herself. Crisis averted.