Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Finally. Peace and Quiet

And hey...bonus! I'm not dead.

I have mucho time before my last student arrives -- too much time, but I haven't had a chance to fix that little problem yet -- so I finally, finally, FINALLY have time to write.

TunaU has been insanity on skates since the guppies came to town. I run at work all day, and when I get home, I either get to clean up after Frick and Frack, the insane felines, or do something even more FUN like memorizing the ten core democratic values. Seriously, when people warn you about the all bad stuff that goes along with having kids, it's generally focused around rotten behavior, lack of sleep and gum boldly going where no gum has gone before. Nobody ever warns you of the real horror -- that you're going to be spending the next eighteen years in school AGAIN suffering through all the CRAP Core Democratic Values that you managed to avoid the first time around. One might think that 36 hours of labor and the subsequent child birth was enough. But if one did, one would delusional. Last year it was states and capitols...on a MAP! So far this year it has been diagramming sentences and core democratic values. Don't I get a break, somewhere? Can somebody give me an Amen? Or at the very least, a get out of social-studies free card?

I'm tired of sixth grade and it's only week three.

Speaking of delusional ("it would be better to get two, because then they wouldn't be lonely or bored...") , Bonnie and Clyde, the AlCATraz twins are ... challenging. TinyTuna and I have had to radically change our ways. Every other sentence out of my mouth is: "TinyTuna you cannot (_____________) because WE HAVE TODDLERS IN THE HOUSE.

The toddlers. Oh the toddlers. The first thing TweedleDum and TweedleDee found was my fleece (for spinning) that was neatly tucked away in bags. One night I fell asleep on the couch, and when I woke up, it looked like a sheep exploded in my living room. Under couches...on chairs...hanging from everything like it was a shepherd's Christmas tree. When I espied TweedleeDee, she just stared at me -- fleecing at the mouth -- with an incredulous "WHAT?" look on her face. How dare I be upset! It was her toy. So away it went. All of it. Problem solved.

(Problem Solved: See: Delusional)


Not to be deterred, Luke and Leia used the force to discover a treasure trove on yarn skeins in my bedroom. Granted, I didn't even know I had these, so in one (small) respect, it was mighty nice of them to bring it all out for my inspection.


You know the cartoon cliche where the cat gets a ball of string and has it all over the house: around table legs, in and out of rooms and through complicated paths that will surely result in the destruction of the house when the other end of the string is tied to the back of a car...

Sunday afternoon, THAT was my house. TinyTuna and I tried to untangle and rewind for about fifteen minutes. (See: Delusional) Then we came to our senses and pulled out the scissors.

Kittens: 1
Tunas: 0

Somehow I think I had better get used to it.


Anonymous said...

I'm enjoying the kitty hi-jinx... but I do feel bad for you and the other tunas, but kitties are so cute.
I want to give you a foot stompin', hand clappin' AMEN, to the sixth grade!!! I'm so over it, and it's only just begun! May the force be with us both. (Not the force that got Howie and Janey booted, cuz that force sucked, hee)

Anonymous said...

oops, that was me, IshKabibil!

Anonymous said...

Diagramming sentences, eh? I heard all about that from my mother growing up and then it turned out that we never even DID that in our neck of the woods. So what did she do? She taught me anyway, at home, on her own time. She said it was for my own good.

Still to this day, I don't understand the purpose of it.

Hammie said...

Your kitties sounds cute. Awwww!

*I love kittens. No sypmathy here. Sorry*

I bet they are awfully cute little devils though, huh?

Admit it. You love them.