BUT SOFT, WHAT EMAIL THROUGH YONDER WINDOWS (7) BREAKS?
IT IS DECEMBER AND THE SALES BEGIN AT DAWN.
From my friends at Sears, who specialize in passive-aggression
- PLEASE OPEN ASAP!
- A special surprise!
- NO JOKE
- Psst... Friendly reminder
- OMG (What?!)
- Did you forget?
- (We're serious!)
From my friends at eBay, who just want to be my buddy, guy.
- Here's an invite!
- To: You, From: Us!
- You're in!
From Gardeners Supply, who attempted a pun, then went for full-on guilt
- Have a Crate Christmas
- Come back!
From Best Buy, who wins the Grim Reaper award
- It's Your Last Day!
From Expedia, who employs a Jekyll & Hyde-type strategy
- Yay!
- Oh no!
- Woo-Hoo!
- Uh-oh!
- Calling all travelers!
- Beware, all travelers!
- Lucky you!
- OMG Alert!
From Petco, who is convinced I'm too slow for their liking.
- Run, Don't Walk!
- Hurry!
- You Have Until the Stroke of Midnight!
- The Clock is Ticking
- THIS. IS. IT.
But despite all the holiday hustle and bustle, it's clear that E! Online remembers the one true reason for the season.
- Kylie Jenner shows her butt!
Happy December, y'all!
4 comments:
The frantic, panicked-sounding email messages from retailers of all ilks really drive me crazy. It's a sale; no one will die if the sale price or featured object is not obtained.
Glad to know the entertainment mags have their priorities sorted out.
I like the ones that mention "Absolutely last day!" and "Only hours left!", then renege on it in the next email: "SALE EXTENDED!!"
Hey GT! Will you be posting again? Was just thinking of you - I think I started following you about 10 years ago!
Glad to hear of it. Thank you for updating!
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