Friday, January 11, 2019

New Math

You have 9 rehearsals scheduled, an hour commute, a lengthy date with a copy machine, a class to teach, another hour commute, 4 lessons, 3 hours of music to prepare for competition and a finicky printer that absolutely must complete a major print job tonight, how do you bend time and space to  take a shower and achieve more than 4 hours of sleep?

You desire to be excessively organized in the morning, so you start hunting down wardrobe options.  If both of your feet exist in close proximity to each other, particularly when removing any shoes, why is it that you can only find one black flat, one black boot and one slipper, but 4 complete pairs of crocs?

Your cat ignores you the entire evening but hogs every inch of bed 5 minutes before you get there.  How much time do you waste trying to solve this problem before deciding you guess can carve out a tiny spot on the edge of the bed?

You wish to be news-savvy but emotionally healthy.  How many baby goats in pajama videos will it take to counteract Twitter?

You should practice for Solo & Ensemble but realize the quality of any instrument you play on will be Saloon grade 5 or worse.  Calculate the importance of being professional musician, factoring in time spent numbering measures, chatting up the other accompanists, reassuring panicky singers, and checking for scores.  Divide by the number of keys and pedals that do not work.  Solve for X, and with the remainder, buy a walking taco.


Deb B-McD said...

Saloon grade 5. You made me belly laugh this morning. Thanks, Friend!

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