Lock the doors, grab some grog, and smoke some mistletoe. It's time for
I have made a solemn vow (with no fingers crossed) to write at least one blog entry (of 50 words or more) every day between now and January something. Recalling my last vow of literacy, and how it went from bad to worse to worser to worsest in only 30 short days, it might be a bit premature to be at all optimistic about my upcoming success.
But Come On, Oh Ye Faithful Internets! November is gone, and so is the turkey, and I'm actually looking forward to my second annual participation in the Holidailies portal.
I'm ready to commit to a month of heartwarming holiday tales.
To whit, I begin with the latest Gmail words of inspiration, courtesy of my sixth grade correspondent, TinyTuna.
(With additional commentary by GreenTuna)
DATE: DECEMBER 7, 2005
SUBJECT: INJURY OF THE DAY!!
Hello mom! I have done my homework and I think I Love you. NO! I TAKE IT BACK! I LOVE YOU! I can't wait to see you at the concert and daddy as well as you and grandma. I won't forget to set the tape for Amazing Race.
(Next stop, Suck-Up Avenue)
INJURY OF THE DAY!
Today a girl was by the door in the orchestra room and some boys were playing with it waiting to go. Without warning I hear that the door was slammed right on her fingers, and my teacher said that she was in great pain.
I agree. I think it would be hard to have my figures hurt like that. But it serves her right. She is so mean and always treat me with rudeness. Sorry I said that. I do feel a little sorry for her.
(Is it wrong that I grimaced and then chuckled and then scolded myself for chuckling and then started laughing all over again? Oh, the conflicted life of a middle-schooler. Not to mention a middle-schooler's mom.)
Now to school. Like I said all my homework is done and when I'm done talking to you here I am going to read.
(Someone knows there will be no Amazing Race if they get busted playing on the computer instead of doing homework. Kids. They can be taught!)
You know I love you so much and that I miss you every day. and I hope to see you soon.
(You have to love the writing as if I'd been in prison for the past 25 years. See "suck-up" above.)
P.S. In Science we are doing a project with an element
(In a Later Conversation)
TinyTuna: We have to make up an advertisement for our element, and I got stupid Chromium.
GreenTuna: What's wrong with Chromium?
TinyTuna: Nothing rhymes with Chromium!
GreenTuna: How about "Chromium. It's for your wheels, not your domium."
TinyTuna: "Domium" isn't a word.
GreenTuna: How about, "Knives so sharp they'll cut you to the bonium?"
GreenTuna: You have no humors.
(With all my heart and soulnium...)