It's November, and already I feel like this school year has been about 49 months long. For those of you who have already crossed over to the other side, please no snickering. For the rest of you who haven't yet walked this path, here are a few things I've learned so far:
1. College applications are sent from the Bastard Karmic God of Education. It's his way of saying, "See??? A late-night diorama project doesn't seem all that bad NOW. Now does it?"
2. Senior year = Open your wallet. Invert. Shake vigorously. Never ever ever ever stop.
4. College essays. Why? Can't we just bake you a pie, come over, hold hands and sing Kum-Bah-Yah? We'd even clean up and take out the trash. Win-win, says I.
5. Television no longer exists. Wait, this is a good thing.
6. You worry all the time, you cannot plan ahead, you're in the dark and you don't know where you're going. If this were the Amazing Race, you'd already be in Loser's Lodge.
7. Going to the movies and sitting in the dark for two hours sounds like the biggest luxury in the whole world. Sadly, this hasn't happened since summer and probably won't happen again until Christmas vacation.
8. Bed before midnight? Winning!! Also, never happening!!
9. Your 17-year old discusses buying a business suit. For real.
10. You wonder if you hug them tightly enough, can you slow time...just for a little while? Because while the teenager is acting tough and the parent seems calm and collected, the truth of the matter is everybody is flying by the seat of their pants and there are no brakes. I guarantee at the end of this ride, nobody is getting off saying, "Wow! Let's do that again!!"
11. There really is something wonderful about cookies and milk and a short nap in the middle of the day. Those Kindergartener's have it MADE.
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