Christmas Haikus

Presents all around.
Frenzied paper. Frenzied joy.
Flying, dreams draw near.

Holiday madness.
Rush, Worry, Panic, and Fret.
December law firm.

Pack now when sleepy
Or sleep now and pack later?
5 am wins out.

This is the season
Of magic and miracles.
Hold on tight. Believe!

Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas, Hanukkah,
or Hug-A-Tree Day

From the Tuna Clan
To Friends known and not yet met,
Peace, Health, Joy and Love.

Christmas Haikus

Presents all around.
Frenzied paper. Frenzied joy.
Flying, dreams draw near.

Holiday madness.
Rush, Worry, Panic, and Fret.
December law firm.

Pack now when sleepy
Or sleep now and pack later?
5 am wins out.

This is the season
Of magic and miracles.
Hold on tight. Believe!

Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas, Hanukkah,
or Hug-A-Tree Day

From the Tuna Clan
To Friends known and not yet met,
Peace, Health, Joy and Love.

It's a Wrap

Late Friday afternoon Scout and I had an early Christmas because he was leaving the next morning to spend the holidays with his parents. His Friday marked the end to an exhausting week of overtime, and I had spent the entire day power shopping, so we were both tired, to say the least.

I walked into his house, with gift bags a-blazing, and found him hunched over a present, scotch tape in hand. He said he was just finishing up wrapping TinyTuna's present. I looked at my pile of presents I had assembled in about 45 seconds, then looked at him and whispered "Gift Bags. Greatest Inventions EVER." He looked at me and shook his head. "My mother taught me to wrap presents."

Well! My mother taught me to wrap presents too, but if I had wrapped all his gifts in the prescribed Tuna manner with tape and paper and a KNIFE (scissors are a huge foul...don't ask), I wouldn't have been over until the next day. Plus, gift bags are cheaper and reusable, that is, if you're smart enough not to slap a sticker with a name on it.

But I understood where he was coming from. There is something about a hand-wrapped present with colorful bows and curlicue ribbons. It's like a hand-written letter. It says you took the time to care. A hand-wrapped present is tradition. On the other hand, a gift bag not only saves time, it also saves the planet by eliminating mountains of paper that wind up in a landfill. A gift bag is environmentally friendly.

So I really didn't know what to think. Should I be Tevye or Al Gore? In the end, I told him to shut up and open his present. Which he did. And then I took back the gift bags to use again. And yes, I tore off the paper from his lovely hand-wrapped present. But in the name of recycling, I crumpled the paper up into a couple of little balls to use as cat toys for a day or two. Waste not, want not.

It's a Wrap

Late Friday afternoon Scout and I had an early Christmas because he was leaving the next morning to spend the holidays with his parents. His Friday marked the end to an exhausting week of overtime, and I had spent the entire day power shopping, so we were both tired, to say the least.

I walked into his house, with gift bags a-blazing, and found him hunched over a present, scotch tape in hand. He said he was just finishing up wrapping TinyTuna's present. I looked at my pile of presents I had assembled in about 45 seconds, then looked at him and whispered "Gift Bags. Greatest Inventions EVER." He looked at me and shook his head. "My mother taught me to wrap presents."

Well! My mother taught me to wrap presents too, but if I had wrapped all his gifts in the prescribed Tuna manner with tape and paper and a KNIFE (scissors are a huge foul...don't ask), I wouldn't have been over until the next day. Plus, gift bags are cheaper and reusable, that is, if you're smart enough not to slap a sticker with a name on it.

But I understood where he was coming from. There is something about a hand-wrapped present with colorful bows and curlicue ribbons. It's like a hand-written letter. It says you took the time to care. A hand-wrapped present is tradition. On the other hand, a gift bag not only saves time, it also saves the planet by eliminating mountains of paper that wind up in a landfill. A gift bag is environmentally friendly.

So I really didn't know what to think. Should I be Tevye or Al Gore? In the end, I told him to shut up and open his present. Which he did. And then I took back the gift bags to use again. And yes, I tore off the paper from his lovely hand-wrapped present. But in the name of recycling, I crumpled the paper up into a couple of little balls to use as cat toys for a day or two. Waste not, want not.

Christmas Eve Two'fer

It's not every day you can Feast and Mutter at the same time. So, this morning it must run something along the lines of

I say ... And you FEAST


Appetizer: What is one of your Christmas Traditions
When I was little, in our stocking there was always an orange. I have no idea if it had any sort of greater symbolic meaning that was lost on a me, but as I went to my boyfriend (no, my other boyfriend), I was suddenly grateful I only had an orange in my stocking, and not an entire orange Christmas Tree.

• 1. Terrify :: Scare the bejeebus out of
• 2. Month :: Twelve

Soup: Who is the easiest person on your list to buy presents for?
TinyTuna, hands down. She's 12 ... what's not to like?

• 3. Throat :: Strong, delicate, and vulnerable
• 4. Invasion :: Germs and #3

Salad : What is your favorite Christmas Scent?
Mulled Hot Apple Cider with a sploosh of Spiced Rum to make it extra smooooooth.

• 5. Nail :: Hammer and
• 6. 12 :: Days of Christmas

Main Course : If you could give a fellow Blogger a Christmas Gift, who would it be, and what would you give them?
I couldn't choose just ONE! I've always thought of ordering special-made M&Ms (green ones, of course) and have them imprinted with a Tuna to send to all my online peeps (oooh, wouldn't GreenTuna PEEPS be awesome??!), but I've never quite put my plan into action.

• 7. Bicker :: Unpleasant, pointless arguing
• 8. Thomas :: The Tank Engine

Dessert: What's something on your Christmas list that you need (not just want?)
I pretty much fail year in and year out at making Christmas lists. Things I need? More Time, More Money, More Ocean, More Cowbell

• 9. Sibling :: Brothers and sisters
• 10. Delude :: More Time, More Money, More Ocean, More Cowbell

Christmas Eve Two'fer

It's not every day you can Feast and Mutter at the same time. So, this morning it must run something along the lines of

I say ... And you FEAST


Appetizer: What is one of your Christmas Traditions
When I was little, in our stocking there was always an orange. I have no idea if it had any sort of greater symbolic meaning that was lost on a me, but as I went to my boyfriend (no, my other boyfriend), I was suddenly grateful I only had an orange in my stocking, and not an entire orange Christmas Tree.

• 1. Terrify :: Scare the bejeebus out of
• 2. Month :: Twelve

Soup: Who is the easiest person on your list to buy presents for?
TinyTuna, hands down. She's 12 ... what's not to like?

• 3. Throat :: Strong, delicate, and vulnerable
• 4. Invasion :: Germs and #3

Salad : What is your favorite Christmas Scent?
Mulled Hot Apple Cider with a sploosh of Spiced Rum to make it extra smooooooth.

• 5. Nail :: Hammer and
• 6. 12 :: Days of Christmas

Main Course : If you could give a fellow Blogger a Christmas Gift, who would it be, and what would you give them?
I couldn't choose just ONE! I've always thought of ordering special-made M&Ms (green ones, of course) and have them imprinted with a Tuna to send to all my online peeps (oooh, wouldn't GreenTuna PEEPS be awesome??!), but I've never quite put my plan into action.

• 7. Bicker :: Unpleasant, pointless arguing
• 8. Thomas :: The Tank Engine

Dessert: What's something on your Christmas list that you need (not just want?)
I pretty much fail year in and year out at making Christmas lists. Things I need? More Time, More Money, More Ocean, More Cowbell

• 9. Sibling :: Brothers and sisters
• 10. Delude :: More Time, More Money, More Ocean, More Cowbell

It's in the Bag

Holidailies Writing Prompt: The best homemade holiday gifts to give or get

Several years ago when money was particularly tight for several family members, it was decreed that they were going to opt out of Christmas presents, with the exception of doing something for their kids. They asked us not to give them any presents, because they simply couldn't reciprocate. It was a tough year.

GramTuna and I let that thought stew for several days, and then I finally decided I couldn't agree to this. It wasn't about getting presents. But I knew there had been enough stress and hard times and unhappiness, and it seemed a shame to highlight those things by ignoring Christmas.

We proceeded to formulate a plan. Over the course of several lunch hours, we started making a list of everyone who would be over for Christmas. Presents didn't have to be fancy or expensive, but we were going to have presents. Oh yes, we were going to have presents.

We devised "themes" based on each person, and thought of four items that would provide clues to what the theme was. The clues would either be things laying around the house, or things we could put together ourselves. Each clue would be wrapped in tissue paper (cheap!) and the whole lot would be put in a brown paper grocery sack. The recipient would open each of the four clues, and then try to guess the theme. For example, one bag contained a jar of peanut butter, a glass, some milk and a fork. In our world, the answer would be "peanut butter cookies" because you can't eat one without a big glass of milk. The fork was to make the criss-crosses on the top of the cookies.

GramTuna and I stayed up until all hours several days before Christmas pulling it all together. After all, where are you going to come up with a foreign legion hat? You aren't. You take an old gardening cap and sew a dishtowel to the bottom of it. Voila! Nobody in our family knew what we were up to, but when they walked in on Christmas day and saw the enormous pile of brown paper grocery sacks by the front door, they knew we had been up to no good. Again.

We spent hours and hours opening these bags. Some themes were easy guesses and others were quite challenging. By the time we finished, we had all laughed so hard we were exhausted. These silly bags full of things like trashy novels, nail polish, chocolate and a wand (Queen for a Day!) were just the ticket. They were more than presents; they were thoughtful, silly diversions, and they lifted our spirits like nothing had in many months.

So to answer the question about the the best homemade holiday gift to give or receive, the answer in the Tuna household might be the ones that weren't asked for. Presents can come in brown paper grocery sacks; fancy wrapping and store receipts are not required. And when you're up to no good, sometimes you do the biggest good of all.

It's in the Bag

Holidailies Writing Prompt: The best homemade holiday gifts to give or get

Several years ago when money was particularly tight for several family members, it was decreed that they were going to opt out of Christmas presents, with the exception of doing something for their kids. They asked us not to give them any presents, because they simply couldn't reciprocate. It was a tough year.

GramTuna and I let that thought stew for several days, and then I finally decided I couldn't agree to this. It wasn't about getting presents. But I knew there had been enough stress and hard times and unhappiness, and it seemed a shame to highlight those things by ignoring Christmas.

We proceeded to formulate a plan. Over the course of several lunch hours, we started making a list of everyone who would be over for Christmas. Presents didn't have to be fancy or expensive, but we were going to have presents. Oh yes, we were going to have presents.

We devised "themes" based on each person, and thought of four items that would provide clues to what the theme was. The clues would either be things laying around the house, or things we could put together ourselves. Each clue would be wrapped in tissue paper (cheap!) and the whole lot would be put in a brown paper grocery sack. The recipient would open each of the four clues, and then try to guess the theme. For example, one bag contained a jar of peanut butter, a glass, some milk and a fork. In our world, the answer would be "peanut butter cookies" because you can't eat one without a big glass of milk. The fork was to make the criss-crosses on the top of the cookies.

GramTuna and I stayed up until all hours several days before Christmas pulling it all together. After all, where are you going to come up with a foreign legion hat? You aren't. You take an old gardening cap and sew a dishtowel to the bottom of it. Voila! Nobody in our family knew what we were up to, but when they walked in on Christmas day and saw the enormous pile of brown paper grocery sacks by the front door, they knew we had been up to no good. Again.

We spent hours and hours opening these bags. Some themes were easy guesses and others were quite challenging. By the time we finished, we had all laughed so hard we were exhausted. These silly bags full of things like trashy novels, nail polish, chocolate and a wand (Queen for a Day!) were just the ticket. They were more than presents; they were thoughtful, silly diversions, and they lifted our spirits like nothing had in many months.

So to answer the question about the the best homemade holiday gift to give or receive, the answer in the Tuna household might be the ones that weren't asked for. Presents can come in brown paper grocery sacks; fancy wrapping and store receipts are not required. And when you're up to no good, sometimes you do the biggest good of all.

For Once It Wasn't Mine

As over while waiting to buy super secret stuff at the fancy-shmancy chocolate shop:

Small Girl Who Might Be 3: (Loudly) "Daddy? Is Mom more mature than you?"

GreenTuna: (Thinking) "Don't pee your pants. Don't pee your pants. Don't pee your pants..."

Daddy: (Embarrassed because everybody in the entire store is laughing at him) "Well, I suppose so. I suppose Mom is more mature than I am."

Mom: (In a more mature sort of voice) "Honey, by mature do you really older?"

Small Girl Who Might Be 3: (Disgusted) NO!

For Once It Wasn't Mine

As over while waiting to buy super secret stuff at the fancy-shmancy chocolate shop:

Small Girl Who Might Be 3: (Loudly) "Daddy? Is Mom more mature than you?"

GreenTuna: (Thinking) "Don't pee your pants. Don't pee your pants. Don't pee your pants..."

Daddy: (Embarrassed because everybody in the entire store is laughing at him) "Well, I suppose so. I suppose Mom is more mature than I am."

Mom: (In a more mature sort of voice) "Honey, by mature do you really older?"

Small Girl Who Might Be 3: (Disgusted) NO!

Shouldn'ts and Shoulds

• The holidays shouldn't be this hard.
• Finding that special something for that special someone should be fun.
• Cookies shouldn't be rationed.
• Mince Pie (MPF!) should be given to whomever likes it.
• You shouldn't have to stalk to find a parking spot.
• Fruitcake should follow the same rules (FPF!)
• The cats shouldn't play with ornaments to death.
• I should remember to water the tree so its needles don't kill me.
• The iris shouldn't be re-blooming on Christmas Day.
• There should be a lovely layer of snow on the ground.
• There shouldn't be any snow the next morning.
  
• One day should be enough.
• That peace on earth, goodwill toward men stuff shouldn't be forgotten.
• Women, however, should be included in that mix.
• Scout shouldn't have to work so hard. Overtime in December is wrong.
• TinyTuna should be happy tomorrow is the last day of school.
• I shouldn't still be awake. It's late.
• I should go to bed. I shall.

Shouldn'ts and Shoulds

• The holidays shouldn't be this hard.
• Finding that special something for that special someone should be fun.
• Cookies shouldn't be rationed.
• Mince Pie (MPF!) should be given to whomever likes it.
• You shouldn't have to stalk to find a parking spot.
• Fruitcake should follow the same rules (FPF!)
• The cats shouldn't play with ornaments to death.
• I should remember to water the tree so its needles don't kill me.
• The iris shouldn't be re-blooming on Christmas Day.
• There should be a lovely layer of snow on the ground.
• There shouldn't be any snow the next morning.
  
• One day should be enough.
• That peace on earth, goodwill toward men stuff shouldn't be forgotten.
• Women, however, should be included in that mix.
• Scout shouldn't have to work so hard. Overtime in December is wrong.
• TinyTuna should be happy tomorrow is the last day of school.
• I shouldn't still be awake. It's late.
• I should go to bed. I shall.

Neither Rain Nor Snow

Three separate times over the past few weeks the U.S. Post Office has seen fit to deliver my Lands End catalog number eleventy jillion and two in an over sized envelope. The back of the envelope contains a long rambling apology about how terribly sorry they are that they damaged my mail, and YES they know my mail is important and they work UNBELIEVABLY hard to make sure my mail arrives not only on time but in one piece. The front of the envelope is clear, allowing the recipient to behold their handiwork by gazing upon the damaged item.

The only problem with this is that in each instance, I would have never known it was mangled if they didn't tell me. In fact the last holiday catalog I received (appropriately titled LAST CHANCE 2006!) was perfectly intact, save for the cover being loose at the lower staple.

If the Post Office is going to go to all the trouble of apologizing and repackaging their goofs, they're going to have to work a lot harder. Forget overcoming rain and snow and sleet and hail. I've got a large pile of unwanted holiday catalogs that could be pressed into service for target practice. What they have going right now isn't destructive, it's just annoying with additional packaging, which, if you stop to think about it, pretty much sums up the Post Office, even on a good day. Maybe they are working at their optimal level of incompetence already.

Never mind.

Neither Rain Nor Snow

Three separate times over the past few weeks the U.S. Post Office has seen fit to deliver my Lands End catalog number eleventy jillion and two in an over sized envelope. The back of the envelope contains a long rambling apology about how terribly sorry they are that they damaged my mail, and YES they know my mail is important and they work UNBELIEVABLY hard to make sure my mail arrives not only on time but in one piece. The front of the envelope is clear, allowing the recipient to behold their handiwork by gazing upon the damaged item.

The only problem with this is that in each instance, I would have never known it was mangled if they didn't tell me. In fact the last holiday catalog I received (appropriately titled LAST CHANCE 2006!) was perfectly intact, save for the cover being loose at the lower staple.

If the Post Office is going to go to all the trouble of apologizing and repackaging their goofs, they're going to have to work a lot harder. Forget overcoming rain and snow and sleet and hail. I've got a large pile of unwanted holiday catalogs that could be pressed into service for target practice. What they have going right now isn't destructive, it's just annoying with additional packaging, which, if you stop to think about it, pretty much sums up the Post Office, even on a good day. Maybe they are working at their optimal level of incompetence already.

Never mind.

Just Another Day

There are days when there isn't much to say. Where you go to work and you just work. And after work you go home. Nothing exciting or tragic or earth shattering. No funny jokes to share. No great stories to tell. It's a night of making dinner, doing dishes and cleaning up the bedroom. There is the customary head-butting over homework and practicing, but even that isn't out of the ordinary. And at the end of the day, it's nothing more than days end. Crawling into bed you amass your army of blankets in the hopes of fending off the cold and the darkness while you wait for sleep to take you from one day to the next. There's no promise what tomorrow will bring. It might be exciting. Or tragic. Or earth shattering. Or just another day.

In this season where every day is supposed to be full of fa-la-la-ing, twinkling lights and non-stop holiday cheer, some people might find the absence of celebration a disappointment. Others might feel the monotony is refreshing when faced with a calendar stuffed full of obligations. I manage to fall squarely in both camps at once, which, truth be told, is nothing about which to brag. There are some people -- a lot of people -- that would give anything in the world for just one more day. They know that even the most boring, non-eventful day is cause for great celebration, because the gift of just another day is nothing short of miraculous.

The miraculous in the ordinary is what the season is all about. The trick is to be able to recognize its presence and appreciate the gift. And then it's not just another day anymore.

Fa la la la la
La la la la.

Just Another Day

There are days when there isn't much to say. Where you go to work and you just work. And after work you go home. Nothing exciting or tragic or earth shattering. No funny jokes to share. No great stories to tell. It's a night of making dinner, doing dishes and cleaning up the bedroom. There is the customary head-butting over homework and practicing, but even that isn't out of the ordinary. And at the end of the day, it's nothing more than days end. Crawling into bed you amass your army of blankets in the hopes of fending off the cold and the darkness while you wait for sleep to take you from one day to the next. There's no promise what tomorrow will bring. It might be exciting. Or tragic. Or earth shattering. Or just another day.

In this season where every day is supposed to be full of fa-la-la-ing, twinkling lights and non-stop holiday cheer, some people might find the absence of celebration a disappointment. Others might feel the monotony is refreshing when faced with a calendar stuffed full of obligations. I manage to fall squarely in both camps at once, which, truth be told, is nothing about which to brag. There are some people -- a lot of people -- that would give anything in the world for just one more day. They know that even the most boring, non-eventful day is cause for great celebration, because the gift of just another day is nothing short of miraculous.

The miraculous in the ordinary is what the season is all about. The trick is to be able to recognize its presence and appreciate the gift. And then it's not just another day anymore.

Fa la la la la
La la la la.

I've Got a Little List

Tonight I had, had, HAD to come up with some sort of Christmas List for those who demand such things. I worked on this while half-watching Flight 93 on A&E which was (and is, because it's still on) followed by some documentary on the same subject. Is there some anniversary of which I am unaware? I'm not asking for Frosty and Rudolph every night, but this does nothing for my holiday cheer, which is already dancing on the edge.

From a commercial standpoint, my list is a complete and utter failure. I didn't include anything that would bolster the economy in any significant way. No ponies, no computers, no Wiis for Miis. I managed to stumble across a couple of interesting sounding books on Amazon (Thanks, Top 50 list!) but besides that and a couple of local gift certificates, everybody is pretty much on their own.

And then, for no particular reason, my brain took an entirely different track, and I came up with what I think are some cool ideas. Here are some things worth asking for*. Feel free to steal any of these ideas. I'm thinking I just may do the same myself.

A favorite new recipe
A favorite family recipe
A good book you've read and would like to share
A picture from the past year
A picture from long ago
A packet of seeds I should be sure to plant next year.

*sorry about ending the sentence with a preposition, Mom

I've Got a Little List

Tonight I had, had, HAD to come up with some sort of Christmas List for those who demand such things. I worked on this while half-watching Flight 93 on A&E which was (and is, because it's still on) followed by some documentary on the same subject. Is there some anniversary of which I am unaware? I'm not asking for Frosty and Rudolph every night, but this does nothing for my holiday cheer, which is already dancing on the edge.

From a commercial standpoint, my list is a complete and utter failure. I didn't include anything that would bolster the economy in any significant way. No ponies, no computers, no Wiis for Miis. I managed to stumble across a couple of interesting sounding books on Amazon (Thanks, Top 50 list!) but besides that and a couple of local gift certificates, everybody is pretty much on their own.

And then, for no particular reason, my brain took an entirely different track, and I came up with what I think are some cool ideas. Here are some things worth asking for*. Feel free to steal any of these ideas. I'm thinking I just may do the same myself.

A favorite new recipe
A favorite family recipe
A good book you've read and would like to share
A picture from the past year
A picture from long ago
A packet of seeds I should be sure to plant next year.

*sorry about ending the sentence with a preposition, Mom

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... And You Think:

1. Hardball :: Chris Matthews

2. Sleepless :: In Seattle

3. Graduation :: Cap and Gown

4. Presents :: Under the tree

5. Toe :: I've got 5 of them

6. Lotion :: Hands

7. Snicker :: Doodle. Or Snee. Or a yummy candy bar

8. Eve :: Adam. (Don't get me started)

9. Investment :: Banker

10. Pain :: Chronic

#2 -- This answer is given in honor of Mensch and her undying love and devotion for all things Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Despite her protestations to the contrary, I'm POSITIVE she has a huge stash of all the Hanks/Ryan romantic comedies ever made.
#3 -- TunaU just had graduation a week ago. Lots of cap-and-gowned grads were seen all over town. The best sighting was Saturday Morning at the Grill Dogs where an obviously enthusiastic grad brought his extremely dressed up mother to show her his favorite place to have a big old greasy breakfast. Good thing the monkey slingshot was out of sight.
#5 -- The only other thing I could think of was "ring" and that is bizarre, because I don't wear toe rings. I don't begrudge those who do, but honestly, a toe ring seems to be a huge "what's the point?" kind of deal.
#7 -- And I drew my snicker snee. Nothing like unleashing your inner Gilbert and Sullivan for all the Internets to see.
#8 -- So here's the deal. I get tired -- really tired -- of Eve getting all the blame while Adam gets gives the mealy-mouthed excuse IT'S NOT MY FAULT ... SHE MADE ME and comes across as victim. I have to sing a choir anthem tomorrow that talks about God coming and being created anew blah blah AND THEN GET THIS: "The gates of Eden open...Adam dances in exsultation." Ahem. Aren't we FORGETTING SOMEONE? Where was Eve? Getting a pizza?

Maybe if Eve were smart, she'd hit Adam over the head with his cello.
Not a bad idea, that one.

Mutter along HERE.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... And You Think:

1. Hardball :: Chris Matthews

2. Sleepless :: In Seattle

3. Graduation :: Cap and Gown

4. Presents :: Under the tree

5. Toe :: I've got 5 of them

6. Lotion :: Hands

7. Snicker :: Doodle. Or Snee. Or a yummy candy bar

8. Eve :: Adam. (Don't get me started)

9. Investment :: Banker

10. Pain :: Chronic

#2 -- This answer is given in honor of Mensch and her undying love and devotion for all things Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Despite her protestations to the contrary, I'm POSITIVE she has a huge stash of all the Hanks/Ryan romantic comedies ever made.
#3 -- TunaU just had graduation a week ago. Lots of cap-and-gowned grads were seen all over town. The best sighting was Saturday Morning at the Grill Dogs where an obviously enthusiastic grad brought his extremely dressed up mother to show her his favorite place to have a big old greasy breakfast. Good thing the monkey slingshot was out of sight.
#5 -- The only other thing I could think of was "ring" and that is bizarre, because I don't wear toe rings. I don't begrudge those who do, but honestly, a toe ring seems to be a huge "what's the point?" kind of deal.
#7 -- And I drew my snicker snee. Nothing like unleashing your inner Gilbert and Sullivan for all the Internets to see.
#8 -- So here's the deal. I get tired -- really tired -- of Eve getting all the blame while Adam gets gives the mealy-mouthed excuse IT'S NOT MY FAULT ... SHE MADE ME and comes across as victim. I have to sing a choir anthem tomorrow that talks about God coming and being created anew blah blah AND THEN GET THIS: "The gates of Eden open...Adam dances in exsultation." Ahem. Aren't we FORGETTING SOMEONE? Where was Eve? Getting a pizza?

Maybe if Eve were smart, she'd hit Adam over the head with his cello.
Not a bad idea, that one.

Mutter along HERE.