Thursday, November 13, 2003

A MEMO

TO: COLLEGE VOICE STUDENTS

FROM: GREEN TUNA



I understand the end of the semester is looming ever closer. I understand the great pressures of a college student. I understand that you consider many things to be more important than attending your lessons or studio class. These include but are not limited to: birthdays, boyfriend's birthdays, Greek functions, study sessions, going to the Casino, sleeping, drinking and leaving town.



To the foolish tenor who offered the excuse: I was living in an alternate reality and was a half-hour off all day long... I don't buy it.



To the shockingly rude soprano who bluffed her way through her lesson and still has not a single piece memorized and acted as if she didn't care .... You will soon enough. And it won't be pretty.



My dear students. Remember your instructor can be your mentor, your inspiration, your ally and even your friend. But if you piss off, blow off or otherwise treat disrespectfully your voice teacher -- you have incurred the wrath of a being far worse than an instructor.



Fear the Soprano. She won't bite when provoked. Oh no. She waits for finals. She knows your weakness and she will require you to sing each and every one of them. And then she shall have her reward and her revenge shall be sweet.



Carry on.

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