Wednesday, January 21, 2004

More. As if there weren't enough already.

Emergency Weather
Upon returning from lunch, I went back and re-read my Emergency Weather Warning email thing. It says it will be windy with a little snow. But nowhere in this email does it say word one about my face freezing off. If you're going to warn me, then dadgumit, you'd better do it right.

The weather outside today BLOWS. Really -- It actually blows. Don't not be stupid and attempt a lunch excursion that extends beyond the pre-heated four walls of your place of employment. If you do, your face will freeze off, and you will have to stumble around in the middle of traffic in an attempt to find it. Then you'll have to find some face reattachment adhesive, which doesn't exist. You could chew some gum, except that you don't have a face. If you ignore this email, don't come here looking for any sympathy. We warned you.

Subliminal Messages
On the front page of the first section of the TunaU news, there is a large color picture of W giving his book report to the nation. On the front page of the second section of the TunaU news, there is a large color picture of a student praying to the porcelain God. Coincidence? I think not.

Say What?
Churchill was quoted as saying "Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all." Evidently his 104-year old parrot subscribes to the same philosophy, because she is still alive, cursing Hitler and the Nazis. Awww. What's not to love?
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