Saturday, December 13, 2008

I Saw GreenTuna Dissing Santa Claus

At it is the holiday season, the time has come for the musical monkeys -- namely the entire Tuna clan -- to be gigging here, there and everywhere. Between the three of us, tomorrow is a five-performance Sunday. Today was slightly easier because it was only a two-rehearsal day.

The second rehearsal was a bit of a trial, as it involved singers and dancers and actors and jazz hands and ever-changing scripts. As the rehearsal was nearing the two-hour mark (and my patience was well-past the four-beer mark to make it better) we only had one set of lines and a company bow left. The lines were easy enough: I was to say, "Merry Christmas to All" and Miss Jazz Hands was supposed to say, "And to all a Good Night" and then the entire company of dancers was to shout "Goodnight!" Easy, right? Problem was, dancing Santa wasn't clear on the concept, and he kept saying my "Merry Christmas to All" line. After stopping for the umpteenth time to correct Mr. Claus, the director looked at me and asked me if I know what I was going to say.

Losing the all-important ability to censor myself, I answered way too loudly, "Yeah. STUFF IT, SANTA!"

Although the entire company -- directors and all -- doubled over with laughter, I probably went a bit too far. But let me tell you, even if my little outburst earns me a stocking full of coal, it will have been totally worth it.

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