Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Love Thy Enemy

Last fall, several blogs I follow went through a crisis, and in the end, many relocated. The problem fell squarely on the shoulders of that bloated corporate giant America Online. It seems, the You Got Mail! company conveniently forgot to tell all its journalers you got ADS! and started parking blinking blonking banners at the top of the journal webpages. They didn't ask, and they sure didn't tell. They went Nike and just DID IT, and consequently many AOL members flipped their bitchcake lids and then left for blinky-less shores.

I was surprised that they were surprised. After all, AOL had never struck me as a particularly sensitive corporate entity. This is the company that doesn't provide cancellation information on their website yet REQUIRES you to give a reason if you try to leave the party early (becoming Amish and no longer believing in electricity doesn't work. Seriously. I tried), yet stuffs FREE 80,000 HOURS installation disks in the mail chute like they were invitations to Hogwarts.

So many AOL refugees turned to Blogger and other blog hosting sites in order to escape the hated ads. But I am here to say, you just don't know what you're missing.

I love the Blogger ads. I love them so much, I purposefully added them back in once they became optional. Because Blogger ads are based on page content (and thankfully don't blink and cause seizures), everyday at the Tuna News Ads bar is like Christmas day. Remember, without Blogger ads, the magic of the amazing Peelit would remained unknown. And I think we can all agree that would be a very sad and empty existence indeed.

So, you might understand my excitement when today one of my Blogger Ads led me, like a shining star in the sky, to this

(And lo, Marybear and Josephbear gave The Baby JesusBear...Pinatas)

and this

(Those two king bears look kind of wasted)

AND THIS

(advertisement reads: Includes Moose Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Two Angels!)

AND THIS!!

(The Poker dogs couldn't make it, but bad Perm Dogs were free)

AND THIS!!!!

(Flying Monkeys. FLYING MONKEYS!)

AND SWEET BABY JESUS IN CAPS LOCK, BOLD AND LEANED OVER,
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Chickentivity set. Cluck.

You see, sainted rabbits and squirrels adore the holy...uh,
raccoon....who...uhhh, is....uh, generally regarded to be an
annoying garbage eating thief who....well you see.....


It's downright inspirational.


Were it not for Blogger Ads, we'd never know.
We'd NEVER EVER KNOW.
Thank you Blogger. Thank you.

6 comments:

MissMeliss said...

Ads and spam are the BEST sources of writers-block-fighting inspiration. (I find that spam offers many excellent character names, for fiction.)

sue said...

I just checked one of my aol websites and, so far, it's ad free.

http://members.aol.com/peterow/pindex.html

Sue

Kat said...

Amen to that. Long live Blogger.

pooks said...

So many to choose from!

Damn me, if I'm not going to actually buy some.

nk said...

That's awesome! Don't even try to pretend you are not tempted by the pinatas!

*dashes off to see if a turtle version is made*

Anonymous said...

Holy Whuh!
a Chickentivity?
and I bet now is the time to buy - on sale, and all I'd have to do is store it for a year and remember (like you could forget!) that I own it!
Of course, an officially licensed and authorized Woodland Critters Christmas Nativity Set would be the best!

brad