Tuesday, January 09, 2007

More Later. I Have To Go To Tap Class

Which I totally skipped. I got caught up in 7th grade math, but truth be told, I didn't work all that hard to make sure we finished in time. Between work and work and home and TinyTuna, I just have too much to do these days. Love the class but I need an extra day in my week.

I know. Excuses all. It's the best I can do. But, to totally change the subject my brothers and sisters, let us discuss: spam and junkmail.

My Spam has gotten interesting of late. Not whatever is in the actual email, because Lord knows, I never look. But the subject lines have taken a turn towards the interesting and amusing.

God is my co-spammer
Some spam has taken a definate holy tone. Maybe they figure if you use lots of thees and thous and invoke the name of an Old-Testament Prophet, it won't end up in Spam Quarentine. This morning:

Thee Moab by day, (he hath commanded him)

Opening the email, it appears Moab hath commanded him to buy Viagra.

So odd, I had to keep it in my inbox
I couldn't help it. Even though it wound up in the land of quarentine, it made me laugh, so I let it live in my inbox for a couple days:

Department of Agriculture who stated the department views a sandwich
as a separate and distinct food product
from a burrito or taco.

Opening the email, it makes as little sense as the subject line, but I can tell you
it seems to have nothing to do with burritos, tacos or sandwiches.

You know how to enchant me
It's almost too easy, and I don't really care what the email is about, but thanks spammers for making my morning:

On television, Miss Coulter also stands out among her counterparts
because of an uncanny ability to suck out the intelligence
out of any topic.

Bravo. Whatever it's about, Bravo.

Last night when I got home, I opened a curious piece of mail that I was certain was of the junk-variety. Monday tends to be junk mail day, and everything else had already gone in the circular file. As I opened this last envelope, it contained a letter and a booklet that was probably about 30 pages long. The letter was telling me that all payments to Company X should now be sent to Company Y. Frankly, I had never heard of Company X or Company Y, so I opened the booklet. Inside was a single-spaced, double-columned listing of funeral homes. I started puzzling about payments and funerals homes and how this had nothing to do with me, TinyTuna looked at me and said a little too pointedly, "Maybe they are looking for reservations."


I think I'll stick to Moab and sandwiches, thank you very much.

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