Thursday, September 27, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about GREENTUNA

Thirteen Ways Barbie Has It Better Than I Do

Barbie Forever Dreamhouse

1. Barbie: Mechanical washer and dryer with real spinning action
1. GreenTuna: Mechanical washer with the main control knob broken off meaning you have to break your fingers pushing it in and turning it, or go after it with a pair of pliers.

2. Barbie: A bedroom that transforms into a living room
2. GreenTuna: A bedroom that transforms into an unholy war between laundry and dust bunnies.

Oktoberfest Barbie

3. Barbie: A Kick-Ass Bier-Frau dress with a lacy petticoat, long white stockings, black felt bustier, a low-cut blouse for cleavage display and ribboned-braids.
3. GreenTuna: Three pairs of hose with runs, black Pay-Less pumps with worn-out heels, hair too short to sustain braids, cleavage.

Barbie Magical Dance Castle

4. Barbie: A bed large enough to sleep nine.
4. GreenTuna: A bed which must accommodate cats jumping, sleeping and killing each other.

5. Barbie: A table the converts into a bed for triplets.
5. GreenTuna: HA! No triplets here. I win this round.

Barbie Beach Glam Vehicle

6. Barbie: A separate vehicle. For the beach
6. GreenTuna: One rustbucket fits all.

7. Barbie: Car seats are removable and can be used as beach chairs.
7. GreenTuna: Car seats are permanent, but comes with decades of life-sustaining crumbs.

Barbie Beach Glam Pool!

8. Barbie: Pool
8. GreenTuna: Hose

9. Barbie: Gathers her friends around the pool (with slide and umbrella) for relaxation and fun!
9. GreenTuna: Hose

Barbie Fashion Fever Velvet Crush Couch

10. Barbie: Style AND Alliteration
10. GreenTuna: Chair. Lamp. Table. Not even a decent haiku.

11. Barbie: Fashionable and trendy detailing!
11. GreenTuna: Old, worn carpet detailed with hairy, shedding cats.

Barbie Three-Story Dreamhouse

12. Barbie: Gourmet-style kitchen with plenty of storage comes with all the popular conveniences
12. GreenTuna: Tiny kitchen comes with little tiny storage, but that's OK, because you don't have any food anyway. Convenience is the 7-11 down the street.

Barbie Hot Tub Party Bus

13. Barbie: RV, swivel driver's chair, sofa, refrigerator, microwave, built-in sink, entertainment center, flat-screen tv.
13. GreenTuna: Pile of matches to make a great big Barbie bonfire.


Damozel (Buck Naked Politics) said...

That....was SO FUNNY. I am stumbling it!

Leeann said...

I LOVED this! What an imagination you have!
Mine's up!

Believer in Balance said...

So funny! I love the life-sustaining crumbs! We could survive in our van too because of those!

Cecile said...

Too funny! Hose - that's what we have too. Love it.

April Elizabeth said...


barbie doesnt have a cat. so you win the pet round too.

if it makes you feel better, i dont even have a hose

Mrs. Wonderful said...

RE: #12: you have the car with life-sustaining crumbs (and dessicated french fries). No food prep!

Minkydo said...

Hilarious. I wish I had your sense of humor.

LuvSchweetheart said...

That was terrific! Very funny!

Sniz said...

Bwhahaha...breath...hahahaha. GREAT LIST!! So creative! I will definitely be back!!!

Open Grove Claudia said...

You missed her tiny waist... that's what I envy!

Great idea!

Happy TT

Nicholsa said...

Ah, but you win hands down becuase you're real!

Gloria said...

Hooray!! Well done with the list! Now pat yourself at the back and suntan by the hose later today. :D

This was hilarious. Love it!

trac said...

Good post. I loved my Barbie's "back in the day" and was sad when Girl quit playing with them.