1. Eat Monkey Chow because I was tired of cooking.
2. Take a shower for the entire world wide web.
3. Write an anecdote and have it published by the Washington Post. Sure, it was all about the hair, but today it was all about the nose. Congrats Red Nose!
4. Get invited to Oprah's Legends ball.
5. Play Albatross or Not Albatross
6. Dress my pet squirrel in a sweater.
7. Play football against my alpaca.