Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Level Check

One of the required activities that seems to come with new relationships is facing the Inquisition of friends and family. He handled the friends amazingly well during Tunapalooza, and I thought we were in the clear for awhile. But no. Today TinyTuna called me up for the 20th time today (with not much to say) and decided it was time to get the latest scoop on my personal life. With all seriousness and great drama that a 12-year old can muster, she cut right to the chase as if she were Dr. Phil.

"So Mom ... (grand pause) ... How are things going?"

I smiled and said, "Well, things are going just fine. I'm so glad you asked. Everything is great."

After heaving a dramatic sigh, she said, "Oh, I'm SO glad!"

I started to wince because I wasn't sure where this whole line of questioning was going. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, I hoped to wrap up and shut down the topic by repeating, "Well, I'm so glad too."

The shoe came screaming for my head.

"I have to tell you something," she said. (UH OH) "If you want, it's ok with me if you TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL."

I covered my eyes and started to shake my head. What was THIS? My brain searched for some sort of answer that might bridge the gap between a grown up phrase and a middle schooler's mindset.

The best I could come up with was Super Mario Brothers. Hoping for the best and still teasing her a bit I said, "And what exactly would THAT be? Level 2?"

She was not phased by my sarcasm and she said, "I'm not saying the TOP level. But not the BOTTOM level either."

"Oh," I said. "So you mean the MIDDLE level?"

"Yeah," she said, still very seriously. That's good."

"Um....ok," I said. "Thanks. I appreciate that."

When it comes to affairs of the heart, TinyTuna's bluntness used to be a lot funnier when it was directed at someone else. In the meantime, I still really have no idea what she really meant. I'm just hoping that the middle level doesn't mean I have to be that annoying Princess Peach chick. If there's one thing I do NOT do, it's wear pink and squeak. On ANY level. Ever.


katiemac said...

Point(s) of clarification...

Do you get a castle?
Are you captured?

...Did you magically become blonde over the summer?

I must hear all about him during Scottishpalooza.

which is soon.

lifeonhold said...

'He' is in need of a 'internet/blog' name. It would probably be premature to give him a Tuna moniker (Top Level, that) but 'he'is reallly Bottom Level.

bozoette said...

That reminds of the time SonnyeBoy said he broke up with his girlfriend because she "cheated" on him. He was 13 at the time and I got a little dizzy, until he explained the "cheating" meant she talked to another boy at a party. Then I had to work really hard at not laughing...