"So Mom ... (grand pause) ... How are things going?"
I smiled and said, "Well, things are going just fine. I'm so glad you asked. Everything is great."
After heaving a dramatic sigh, she said, "Oh, I'm SO glad!"
I started to wince because I wasn't sure where this whole line of questioning was going. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, I hoped to wrap up and shut down the topic by repeating, "Well, I'm so glad too."
The shoe came screaming for my head.
"I have to tell you something," she said. (UH OH) "If you want, it's ok with me if you TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL."
I covered my eyes and started to shake my head. What was THIS? My brain searched for some sort of answer that might bridge the gap between a grown up phrase and a middle schooler's mindset.
The best I could come up with was Super Mario Brothers. Hoping for the best and still teasing her a bit I said, "And what exactly would THAT be? Level 2?"
She was not phased by my sarcasm and she said, "I'm not saying the TOP level. But not the BOTTOM level either."
"Oh," I said. "So you mean the MIDDLE level?"
"Yeah," she said, still very seriously. That's good."
"Um....ok," I said. "Thanks. I appreciate that."
When it comes to affairs of the heart, TinyTuna's bluntness used to be a lot funnier when it was directed at someone else. In the meantime, I still really have no idea what she really meant. I'm just hoping that the middle level doesn't mean I have to be that annoying Princess Peach chick. If there's one thing I do NOT do, it's wear pink and squeak. On ANY level. Ever.