Monday, November 07, 2011

Saving Nine

It's been quite some time since we've traveled together down crifty-craft lane.  Let's make up for lost time and see what surprises are lurking on Cross-stitch lane, shall we?

 As you can see from this picture, mother reindeer and father reindeer are anxiously awaiting junior's return after his maiden voyage with the big guy in the red suit.  Watch Santa slowly climb down the ladder, trying to find the right words to tell the proud parents that junior misjudged the landing and impaled himself on the weather vane.

 After witnessing the gruesome reindeer-on-a-pike picture, the sewer lost all will to stitch any more holiday frivolity and chose to leave the upper two stories blank as a stark reminder that you'll need someplace to store all those presents.  And venison.

From this picture two things are very clear:  Buck and Gene are drunk, and illegal or not, tonight they WILL serve all-you-can-eat penguin (2-penguin limit)

Because nothing says welcome like gritty, grimy plastic eau d'ocean footwear.

Signed, all the pets that used to be loved before YOU showed up. 
PS - Watch your back.

 Stranger danger be damned!
I think I saw this defense in a Law & Order episode.

I am the angel of wrapping nightmares past.

 I am the angel of holiday overeating present.  Pass the Pepto!

I am the angel of nine thousand Christmas Carols yet to come.
Now, you will play the Little Drummer Boy AGAIN AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

Except the Indians.


Nothing like a friendly reminder of mass hysteria and religious fanaticism.  
Nice shout out to Giles Corey, however.  He had a lot of balls.

Doesn't matter how many tricks you can do, turkey.
You're not the main act. You're the main course.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Please don't ever stop blogging again! I almost choked laughing so hard.