Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Parenting 101

Today's topic in Parenting 101 is: The Restaurant Balloon

The restaurant balloon is not a difficult concept. In fact, the restaurant balloon has wonderful powers. But. BUT. CAPS LOCK, LEANED-OVER and even BOLD -- BUT. You must know the magic word, and then you must use it. Several times, if necessary.

Are you ready for the magic word? Are you prepared to behold its awesome power?

~~ after ~~

There. I told you. ~~ after ~~ Nothing more and nothing less. Yet this one, seemingly insignificant preposition can make the difference between order and mayhem.

Try it with me now: ~~ after ~~ Very good.

Now add one more word: ~~ dinner ~~

~~ after dinner ~~ AFTER dinner ~~

With these two little words, the restaurant balloon morphs into a giant carrot, taming the unruliest of children with the promise of a reward.

~~ AFTER dinner ~~

But, if you don't employ the magic word, and the restaurant balloon appears NOT

~~ AFTER dinner ~~

but during or (even worse!) before, then you have failed Parenting 101 and must repeat Parental Anatomy 99b:

Having Your Head Examined.

1 comment:

TV Junkie said...

I'm almost afraid to ask...