Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Educating Tuna

Now that the pounding that was known as "new roof" is over and done with (and it looks awesome, thanks for asking!) we are making the master plan Barbie Dream-House list of everything we need to do and want to do in the house. Several trees gave their lives for this list. After we dropped TinyTuna at play practice last night, GramTuna and I decided to loiter in Home Depot and "just look". Two hours later, I have more questions than I have answers.

WHY oh why do they display toilet bowls twenty feet overhead? Not only are they displayed at angles straight off of the set of The Poseideon Adventure, but they aren't in a row, so it's impossible to compare one from the next.

WHEN did it become so all-fire important for toilet bowls to be LONG? Were people falling off? Were they missing? I'm not mocking the longness, I'm just not understanding.

WHAT is up with Super-Sonic flush action and Super-Vortex flush action? I want to flush, not go to the moon.

WHO (and I really want to know the answer to this one) decided a good way to test said flushing action was to dump golf balls in the toilet. I kid you not. The big draw of toilet bowl number 74 (EZ find Q-4) was that it was able to flush TWO DOZEN GOLF BALLS. I don't want to flush golf balls. I never have once, in all my years, had a need to flush golf balls. Nor does my body excrete anything remotely resembling a golf ball.

Other areas of pondering included medicine cabinet with hinges that stick out and would poke you in the eye...the mysteries of building codes and vanity placement...the wonderment of knobs...and the mysteries of kitchen cabinetry.

Forget Calgon...Vern, take me away!!


Anonymous said...

I can't wait to see what referrals this post brings to your site!

GreenTuna said...

Well...funny you should mention that. Up top I spied upflushtoilet.com and mcphersonupflush.com -- I'm a bit too skeeered to click through. Of course, one side note that's only funny to TunaU residents....McPherson is the name of the UPrez. I didn't know he was moonlighting.

GreenTuna said...

I am weak. Of COURSE I clicked through...Upflushtoilet.com has a toilet that (duh) flushes up! The picture is pretty funny, since it appears to have its own personal defibrillator behind the base of the toilet.