GENE GENE THE DANCING MACHINE
How do I describe this?

Last night I went out with several cohorts to a local watering establishment. This is a treat for me, since going out to the bar requires both being awake and having a babysitter. Last night I was two-for-two so out I went for couple hours with UAT (Uber Auntie Tuna) and several compatriots from church. This particular bar isn't the most scenic in the world, nor is it in a particularly refined neighborhood. But we figured it would be ok for a couple hours. Go, drink, hear the band play a bit and leave early. And so, we did.

As we watched the band set up, I caught sight of a rather odd looking guy. He was a rather short (five foot at best) and probably in his late 50's or early 60's. He was also very well dressed: brown suit, shirt, tie, shiny brown shoes. But, he was wearing these black leather gloves with silver studs and crosses, and the fingers cut out. UAT declared they were driving gloves. I declared whatever -- his fashion struck me as creepy and didn't exactly go with the suit.

The band -- Root Doctor -- starts up. They are a really good Rhythm and Blues band. Just as they get going, guess who comes out onto the dance floor? Gene Gene the Dancing Machine! Who is he dancing with? Absolutely nobody! This lateral moon walking poor white man's shuffle version of Michael Jackson is just all over the place. And then BAM! He throws in an Epileptic seizure for dramatic dance floor effect.

You have to imagine the collective look on our faces. The ten of us are sitting there, staring at the dance floor, eyes bugging out, mouth wide open -- speechless. But with every SEIZURE! movement, we all look at each other....and bust a gut laughing. And then we go back to staring at him again. He was a dancing car wreck. You didn't want to watch, but it was impossible to look away.

And on and on it went. The second song starts, and a lone female ventures onto the dance floor. Wow! Is she brave? Is she stupid? What will she do? What will he do? All eyes are on the dance floor, and here comes Gene Gene the Dancing Machine...slide slide shuffle shuffle slide SIEZURE! shuffle shuffle and he does his five-foot tall best to dirty dance with a woman whose waist comes up to his armpits. So once he starts slide slide shuffle shuffle SEIZURing towards her, she makes her counter move dance dance walkaway walkaway walkaway dance dance to the other side of the dance floor. The peanut gallery goes wild. The band is great, but the entertainment is better.

We spent a lot of time amongst the ten of us discussing his style of dance. Now, I know that I have no business criticizing anybody's dance style. My best move can only be described as the sixth-grade clutch (slow dances only). But as we watch this guy...it seems so familiar. And then it hits me. He's doing Elaine's Seinfeld dance, which was described as "a full body dry heave set to music."

As promised, I left shortly thereafter. We spied Gene Gene The Dancing Machine walking to his car as we were leaving. I guessed he was out getting more SEIZURE medicine. As I found out this morning, it was a long slide slide shuffle shuffle slide SEIZURE! shuffle shuffle night for our hero.
Sign My Guestbook!