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In this age of too much time to waste to read too little time, I rely a lot on article titles to prompt me to click through or keep on keeping on. Some sites, like The Onion and Weekly World News (no grief here -- it's OK to read it ONLINE!) feature titles for fictitious news articles (except those Bat Boy ones. They're real.

Bigfoot Tracks Indicate Salsa Lesson

Newman Honored for Achievements in Salad Dressing

Then there is the fabulous Fark. I read these for the titles alone. Actual articles and news stories are forwarded to the site, but the captions for these articles are creatively crafted by the submitters, and are, in many cases, hysterically funny.

10 month old child receives his Firearm Owner's Identification Card. Hopefully a better shot than Dick Cheney

"Frankenberry appointed to county board." Count Chocula said to be considering run for state legislature

Tennessee state senator introduces bill requiring restaurants to tell customers which foods have trans-fat in them. Cracker Barrel and Waffle House print up signs that say "All Of It" just in case

Congratulations to Larry Birkhead, winner of the 2007 Anna Nicole Smith Vaginal Dumpster Invitational

(Yeah that last one was a little tacky, but I still think it's funny)


Now I can't tell if it's intentional or not, but lately it seems my local newspaper is getting into the game. In the last two days I've learned:

Wanda M. Wolverton of Lansing Enjoys Bowling

and

Good Samaritan's Lizard Stabbed to death by Visitor

Now that's some hard hitting journalism. Thank God for the Internets and their tubes of knowledge. I can't imagine missing this important stuff.