Monday, February 21, 2005

Muppets & Beatles & Hunchbacks, Oh My!

The setting was quite lovely, actually. Several of us were enjoying a yummy post-Church Sunday brunch in a quaint local restaurant that was a train station in a former life. The setting was warm and cozy, and our group was seated in our usual alcove of misbehavior.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Most of our group chose the Sunday Brunch Buffet. TinyTuna opted for Spaghetti after successfully talking the waiter into substituting fries for garlic bread, thus releasing her from the impossible decision of ordering the much inferior Hamburger WITH The Holy French Fries of Antioch, or the much preferred Spaghetti WITHOUT the Holy French Fries of Antioch.

I expect she will excel in her future career of high-stakes negotiations.

Cutting through the din of customers and clanking plates was the strains of a piano being played from the second floor:

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds....(bomp bomp)
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds....(bomp bomp)
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds....(bomp bomp)
Aaaahhhhhhhh......Aaaaahhhhhhh!


It was an odd choice at best for background piano music, and several of us speculated that it might be a player piano, which would in turn, upgrade the song choice from weird to quaint. But alas, it was a real person who seemed to be playing out of a book that was probably titled:

Sunday Singalong: A Reader's Digest Collection of Movie Themes, Disney Hits and Popular Songs -- BEGINNING PIANO EDITION!!!

To say that it was special was either a gross understatement or an insult to specialness everywhere. It was akin to My First Piano Recital -- 6th Grade Edition and our little alcove turned into a haven of humor. For you must understand, the entertainment (such that it was) was being paid (oh yes, I asked the Roast Beef Man). And you must understand that E-Z note songbooks consist of no more than three different chords per song in the right hand, and a single bass note in the left hand that either pa-thwumps along on every single beat like an elephant, or bomp-bomps on the offbeat when the right hand is resting from its strenuous C-Chord F-Chord G-Chord mania.

Having just left a solemn Lenten service of intraspection, our first order of business was the rearrange the lyrics in a sort of Sunday School/Fortune Cookie combination.

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds...With Jesus...In Bed...
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds...With Jesus...In Bed...
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds...With Jesus...In Bed...
AaaaahhhhhhhHaHaHaHaHaHahaHaHaHaHaHa......


The brunch wore on, and the hits, as they say, just kept a-comin:

On Golden Pond (With Jesus in Bed)
Forrest Gump (With Jesus in Bed)
A Whole New World (With Jesus in Bed)
You Were Always on My Mind (With Jesus in Bed)

And so on and so forth.

At one point, I felt the need to seek out some food, so I excused myself from the table and ventured toward the platter of ultra fresh (mooing) beef. As I waited with antici --- (say it!) --- pation to get my food, the pianist was obviously trying to pick the next big hit. As I carried my plate to the table, she started in:

It's time to play the music! (bomp bomp!)
It's time to light the lights! (bomp bomp!)

Yes, indeed. At this semi-fancy Sunday affair, it was Time to Meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show Tonight (With Jesus in Bed -- Bomp Bomp!) I giggled uncontrollably and headed back to the table. Evidently they were all waiting for me, because the minute I reached the top of the stairs all eyes were on me and then we erupted en masse into complete and utter hysteria. It was that kind of day.

She stumped us only once, and although I knew the piece, somehow I just didn't quite have my mind wrapped around The Theme from Jurassic Park. Thankfully the table next to ours helped out a bit. Her big finish was a HIGHLY DRAMATIC (read: loud and extra bangy) rendition of EVERY SINGLE SONG FROM Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame, EVEN THE ONES NOBODY EXCEPT TINYTUNA KNOWS. That uplifting medly of deformity, hatred and intolerance lasted a good ten minutes.

Finally the piano returned to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, and we took that to be our cue to beat feet out of there. After all, if you're around when the pianist makes it to the end of

Sunday Singalong: A Reader's Digest Collection of Movie Themes, Disney Hits and Popular Songs -- BEGINNING PIANO EDITION!!!

and goes back to the beginning for seconds, you've been there long enough.
(With Jesus in Bed)

1 comment:

Angel said...

LMAO!!! Ok, I love Hunchback, but all that and the Muppets....I think I would have been laughing too hard to eat. Thanks for the grin ;)