Movie Magic

Christmas With The Kranks: "Egregiously mediocre and flagrantly ill-conceived in every department, this is, truly, the cinematic equivalent of finding a single solitary Saltine in your stocking and a pair of old tube socks beneath the tree."
-- Marc Savlov, AUSTIN CHRONICLE

This, and several other (fabulously bad) movie reviews have been compiled by The Defective Yeti. I, of course, have a couple of my own to add:

The Polar Express
A movie obviously designed for the IMAX screen. You will love this film if you are a fan of lunch-losing, stomach wrenching roller coaster rides or speeding out-of-control trains perilously close to crashing, exploding or both. This, unfortunately, comprises approximately 80% of the film. Theoretically somewhere within the film is the message of believing in Christmas, but I'm thinking maybe this kid just needs a hearing aid. Visually spectacular to be sure, it came up a little short in terms of substance. My advice? Go rent The Snowman. Twice the message in 1/4 the time.

The Incredibles
What can I say? It was incredible. Sleek, funny and cool in a very retro-hero tale kind of way. The big band jazz soundtrack was reminiscent of The Green Hornet -- an old action hero show that was probably before your time. Able to appeal to both kids and adults, it was the perfect mix of humor and action. Pixar sure got it right.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
TinyTuna is going nuts waiting for this movie to be released. Based on the multi-book series of the same name, it looks like it's going to be really good. Even with Jim Carrey, it looks like it's going to be really good. Of course, that's what I thought about Shark Tale...