Friday, January 21, 2005

Friday Poll

The results from the First Friday poll are in. Voting was slow and methodical, indicating that most readers were either busy doing real work, or couldn't find the poll at the top of the right column, or plain old didn't care (how can THAT be?) At the end of the week, however, the winner of the first TunaNews/Weekly World News Poll was: A TIE!

One in 10 Drivers You Pass are Naked from the Waist Down

This article served as a somber reminder that "seminude driving is just as dangerous as driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol" and offered some tell-tale signs of semi-nude drivers, including " Flipping off or waving handguns at other drivers at random, as if to say, "I'm naked and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!"

(16 votes)

Scientist Reveals:

Thunder Caused by Fat People Doing Jumping Jacks

Located in the Science portion of the Weekly World News (I giggle just typing that), the article chronicled a 15-year study that found anytime the control group of fatties did jumping jacks, thunder started 30 seconds later. Future studies we can all look forward to include angels' dandruff causing snow....

(16 votes)

As for those of you who voted for the losers:

Chicken Soup for the Ho (3 votes)

Pot of Pot Found at the End of the Rainbow (3 votes)

Why Beer is Better than Tea (1 vote)

Better luck next time, and don't forget: Stuffing the ballot box and stealing the election is totally legal. Vote early. Vote often.


Battle of the 7-Foot Messiahs!

The Eiffel Tower is a Portal to Hell!

Big Apple Facing New Bomb Threats: Giant Pigeon Terrorizes NY!

Guy Finds a 'Free Lung' Coupon in a Pack of Cigarettes!

Regis Philbin is Homeless!

Results next Friday!

Exclamation Points!!!


Anonymous said...

You are truly insane and I love it!!!!

KatieLiz said...

I had to vote for Chicken Soup for the Ho. With Tiny Tuna demanding to "Fire the Ho," I figured they needed some chicken soup. :-D

TV Junkie said...

Crikey! I didn't even know T.W.W.N. had a Science section. The things I learn from the Tuna News .. I'll tell ya.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Dear Circus Tuna!
I have to vote for Eiffel Tower is Portal to Hell.