Wednesday, January 26, 2005

No News is Good News

Part of me loves and respects the wonderful things that computers can do. The amount of information (both real and urban legendish) that is so readily accessible is absolutely mind-blowing. The ability to communicate with people across the street, across state lines, and across the ocean is as easy as opening a chat program or sending an email. Google wants to know if I feel lucky, and Amazon knows exactly what else I'd like to buy. I don't have to wander very far at all to find humor, sarcasm, stories, recipes, inspiration, or just a little fun.

But on days like today, this was all I seemed to find:

Train Collision near Los Angeles Kills 10
A suicidal man will face murder charges after parking his vehicle on the tracks, causing a commuter train collision.

Deadliest Day for U.S. In Iraq War
Thirty marines and a navy corpsman were killed in a helicopter crash near Jordan...

Kidnappers Demand $3 Million for MLB Player's Mom
Kidnappers holding the mother of Detroit Tigers pitcher Ugueth Urbina have demanded a $3 million ransom, but have not contacted the family in several weeks, Venezuelan police said Tuesday.

Researcher Threatened by Superiors at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration
Medical journal publishes study of coronary disease related to Vioxx after withholding the report because the researcher said he was threatened by superiors at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration

And the bad news parade just went on...

Radio Station pulls show over Tsunami slur

...and on...

Education Chief condemns PBS Show

...and on...

McDonald's Obesity Suit Revived

...until I felt saddened and absolutely smothered.

Now I'm not asking for a bunch of cute stories about pets that found their way home or kids that say the darndest things. Superficial good news sets off a suspicious and sarcastic mind just as quickly as bad news overwhelms and paralyzes. But Lordy, can't there be some balance here? Somewhere, somebody must have done something good, or thought-provoking, or inspirational or humorous. I'd even settle for boring and normal.

If the major news sources can't (or won't) print something that doesn't make me want to curl up into a fetal position and sob, I figure I have two choices:

I can look for the nearest exit OFF the Information SuperHighway


I can ask Google.

Just maybe, I'll get lucky.


TVJ said...

It's all in how you spin it. Try this: "Richard Hatch DIDN'T get locked up in jail" or "Cat Woman got nominated for an award" or how about the 29 year old man that was declared dead and then took a breath while being examined in the morgue? That's gotta be good news, right?


TVJ said...

HEY! Good News! Dick Clark was released from the hospital!

Woo Hoo!

bozoette said...

I'm with you, Tuna!

Gary said...

And it just seems to keep going.. From today:

lifeonhold said...

Tuna, you need to spend more time in Chat where you will be comforted by the more banal side of the internet. Or maybe a session spinning.