Friday, February 20, 2004


Meanwhile, inside the dark recesses of GreenTuna’s brain…..

Good morning PC, so nice to see you again. Yes, I know I had to use that Satanic iMac yesterday. Don’t worry, I washed. So, what are we going to write about today?

No ideas. This isn’t good. I didn’t have any big ideas yesterday either. Yeah, but I was teaching, so how many big ideas can I have while I’m chained to a piano for twelve hours listening to 17th century Italian art songs about violets half-hidden by the snow? That’s right, none. Who cares about violets or snow or old dead Italians anyway? That’s right.

Hey, Survivor updates!

I got it. I’m going to talk about decisions. I’ll start funny, and end with a big pointy point at the end (which is where things end. At the end. Yes I said it twice). Oh yeah. I'm gonna be the next Dennis Miller and what’s-his-name guy that used to be on ABC and now is on HBO and (dang it! I STILL don’t have HBO, lousy Corporate Cable Disney-Loving Nazi's...), what’s his name? Google…Google…Bill Maher, that’s right. I’ll be the next comedic political punditista. Ok. "Decisions" -- Here goes.

First, there is the “What to wear?” decision, which may or may not come before the “Do I really have to get out of bed?” decision. For me, “what to wear” is dictated by what’s clean and the weather forecast. Aside from that, I don’t attach a whole lot of importance to the entire matter. I realize that this has probably earned me a one-way ticket to What Not to Wear, but in my book, if my socks match (each other), it’s a good day in Tunaville.

Funny, and hey, I’m not even wearing socks today. On the Internet, nobody can see if your socks match. Is it funny? Maybe. Well, maybe no. Ok. No. Back to "Decisions" -- Here goes.

Then there is the “what to eat?” decision. I’m not a “food fussy”, so choosing what to eat is never really a problem. The tough part here is trying to choose “what NOT to eat”, but that’s a different discussion.

Heh. "Food Fussy". That was from that really old Romper Room record I used to play every now and again. It was the "Do-Bee" song. "Do-Bee" this but "Don't-Bee" that. Hrm. Kinda dumb, now that I think of it. And you know, she never saw ME when she looked into her mirror at the end. No wonder the show tanked. Hey. Food. Friday. Do we know what letter it is yet? Check Grace’s blog. Anything? Not yet. Hrm. I don’t know which letter to ignore today. I probably should have asked last night when I had the chance, before I fell asleep in the middle of ER. Oh well. Wait for her lead. Ok. Back to "Decisions" -- Here goes.

Of course every morning there is the makeup dilemma, which in my case is no dilemma at all. Having a makeup dilemma means having TIME to have a makeup dilemma, which in my case is as common as having a February 29th. But if I did have a February 29th and I had time for a makeup dilemma I would.......

STOP. Stop now. Makeup? This is dangerous and hostile territory. Step away from the light. Do not walk towards the light. Don’t you remember what happened last time you…Oh. Yeah.

[delete] [delete] [delete] [delete] [delete]

Phew. Close call. Now, Think. "Decisions" -- Here goes.

In the grand scheme of everything, personal decisions like these are insignificant. They are the choices I make to live and function in society. If I choose to wear gray instead of black, no harm, no foul. Will it be chicken or fish? It doesn’t really matter all that much, now does it? But what about decisions that are significant? What about those decisions that have implications extending far past our own individual fiefdom? What about those questions where perhaps the most difficult decision is, “Who gets to decide?”

Uh oh. Now this sounds like a piece on “choice” which is NOT what I had in mind. Argh…

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Now what?

TinyTuna? Nothing to report.

Work? Same old, same old.

Teaching? They’re on break. I’m happy.

Spam? I get too much.

Weather? Rain today.

Emergency Emails? Not a galactic storm in the sky.

Movies? Mel Gibson’s Jesus-epic – Big passarooni there.

TV? I hope somebody noticed I nearly tripled my score in the Survivor pool.

Commercials? The new Quizno’s ad is so disturbing I laugh every time.

Banner Ads? Lately it’s been cats, kittens and NASCAR. Serves me right.

Anyone? Nope.

Anyone? Nope.


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