Friday, December 12, 2003


Earlier this morning, GreenTuna wrote


Quote: Except I don't wear a hat. Ever.


And then.




I look up from my computer and my elf in mid-adventure. Mind you, I don't move. I just look up. I say in a loud voice as a question for anyone within ear shot, "isn't that the fire alarm?" General discussion ensues. But you have to realize nobody has gotten up. Nobody has left their desk much less their office. So we sit and debate:

1. Whether or not it's the fire alarm -- when it clearly is.

2. Whether or not it is our annual fire drill day -- when it clearly isn't.

3. Whether or not we should get out of our chairs and leave the building.

Finally I grumble "well, I guess we'd better get out of here," and I grab my hat. My hard hat. My moronic hard hat. My moronic blinding yellow hard hat. My moronic biliously blinding yellow hard hat. My moronic biliously blinding yucky yellow hard hat. My moronic biliously blinding yucky yellow Homer hard hat. None of us seems terribly concerned because we're ambling around as if we are at the county fair sampling some pie.

"I'm going to the bathroom first!" Yells my boss who is four weeks into dances-with-diuretics, and does the one hundred yard cross-legged dash across the hall about seventy-nine times a day.

"Knock yourself out," I say as I don my gay apparel, attempt to look official and herd the students out of the room.

"Do we have to go?" They ask me.

"It's up to you," I answer. "What I can tell you is the fire alarm is bwweeeeeeEEEEEEPing, this isn't a scheduled drill, and I'm leaving. It's my job to tell you the fire alarm is sounding, advise you to leave the building immediately, and then get myself out of here."

After a mini-debate about whether or not to lock the doors (we decided not), we meandered down the stairs and went outside so we could stand in the winter wonderland for the next twenty minutes. Being the self-important possessor of the yellow hard hat (I got elected when I wasn't at work one day), I filled out my little slip of paper as the representative the unit, and indicated that yes indeedy, we all successfully escaped. While we shivered outside (I forgot my coat because I’m a big Homer, but dammit, I did have my hat), I remarked loudly in the presence of several library muckety-mucks that now would be a good time to take Friday afternoon attendance. Hee. I'm bad.

Now that we're back inside and toasty once more, I'm going to have another go with my friend Adventure Elf. For those who were worried, the culprit was paint-fumes. And next time, I'll watch what I type so Old Man Karma doesn't drop another anvil on my head.

But if he did, at least I’d have my hard hat.

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