Friday, December 19, 2003


I do not own a cat

and I do not own a dog.

I do not own a bird

and I do not own a frog.

I cannot comprehend the scene that's set in front of me --

On the floor and horizontal, is my fricking Christmas Tree.

Apparently, in the hopes of landing the coveted role of "Killer Holiday Evergreen" in the remake of The Poseidon Adventure my Douglas Fir has taken a header directly into the middle of my living room. If ever there was a sign, this would be it. What am I doing about it? At the moment, not a darn thing. I have to go sing an opera tonight about Christmas miracles. Maybe when I get home I'll sing a chorus of "Wahoo Doray" in a minor key.

Yep. That sounds good.

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