Friday, December 05, 2003

As I drove into work this morning, I heard a report about Internet Shopping on NPR's Morning Edition. Being a geekatron who likes statistics (the real kind, not the fictional kind), some of the information was interesting.

1. Monday is traditionally a very big online shopping day.
I would have never guessed. Is it the Monday blues? Is it in response to work ennui and the need to placate oneself with trinkets? I don't know what day I would have guessed would be busiest, but this seemed surprising.

2. Big spikes of online purchases occur at 9pm.
This made more sense, and was attributed to two factors: Broadband and bedtime. Broadband allows computers to be turned on all the time, allowing people to shop at weird hours of the day or night. The bedtime theory says parents wait until the kids are tucked in for the night and then they go and fire up the ole credit card.

The rest of the report dealt with statistics of online shopping according to gender. And the entire conversation between the female interviewer and the male expert seemed to take an unpleasant turn.

Interviewer: Is there also a new group buying today? I mean, are there possibly like (pause) WOMEN who have finally jumped on board this idea after hesitating?
GreenTuna: Heaven forbid. Not (pause) ... WOMEN ...

Expert: The people who bought five years ago were men.
GreenTuna (thinking) So? But, ok...

Expert: 61% of all buyers were men, and they just kind of bulldozed their way through, and they bought computers and electronics, and that was the heavy stuff that was really online five years ago
GreenTuna: Bulldozed? Good grief. "Bulldoze." "Heavy Things." *grunt*grunt*grunt*

Expert: You fast forward to today, and we are going in the complete other direction.
GreenTuna: This sentence courtesy of the Department of Redundancy Department. If it wasn't "complete", then it wouldn't be the "the other direction", it would be "a different direction." And furthermore, So?

Expert: Earlier this week, women accounted for 68% of all sales online. (lengthy pause, and then said incredulously) 68!! They were 39% five years ago.
GreenTuna: SO? SO? SO? Bite me.

It was the tone of voice. He said "68" as if to say "can you possibly wrap your mind around such an unfathomable statistic? I know that I cannot, and I am the expert who bulldozes and buys heavy computers and electronics."

And on and on it went. According to the report, women comparison-shop at approximately four different sites, narrow it down to two, and then make their purchase. Maybe it's me, but I pretty much dance exclusively with LifeonHold's Boyfriend, and have been doing so for quite sometime. And who has time to comparison shop? I have too much heavy bulldozing to do.
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