Sunday, October 26, 2003

CHANNEL SURFING
Things I've learned from TV today:

1 There is an International Rock-Paper-Scissors championship. It was this weekend, and you gotta love it...it was held in Canada. Due to the exchange rate, the Canadian team was forced to compete with both hands. Ok, not. But in more amazing facts, there is a World RPS Society. Even MORE amazing than that (Is it possible??), is that there are actual named strategies, or "gambits", similar to chess. For example, a player could choose the "Avalanche" gambit (Rock-Rock-Rock). Wow. I mean wow. Where would I be without the Weekend Today show and the Internet? Surely a lot less smart than I am now. Needless to say, TinyTuna was thrilled, and we have yet another current event topic for school. The teacher is going to think I'm nuts. Note to friends: Candle, Shoe, Glue, Lizards, Gizzards and most importantly, Volcano was nowhere to be seen. They haven't really played until they play the rules according to TinyTuna.

2 Dick Buttons, the crabbiest commentator in the world of figure skating never ceases to disappoint. Today's petty gripe? Berating a skater for not tucking in her shoe laces because it destroyed the line in her leg. I'm sure in the scheme of things (not my things), tucking in your laces is a big deal. But I'd probably fall over dead if Dick Buttons ever said something nice or encouraging when a skater made a mistake. I'd pay money to hear Peggy Fleming tell Dick Buttons to cram it. Just once. It'd be great.

3 The Lions are so incredibly bad this year, the network breaks away at the drop of a pass, to show highlights from any other game in progress. Since there isn't much to show on the field today, we've also been treated to lots of shots of fans in their Halloween costumes. Hrm. Lots of bag heads out there. What could it mean?

4 A "Planet of the Apes" marathon grows old faster than a banana gets spots. Yeah, the first one was innovative and interesting and kitschy all at the same time. But the rest of them? Meh to the max.
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