Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Pride Cometh Before the Fall(s)

Hoooo boy! Do we have a current event for TinyTuna today. It has it all -- death defying feats, national landmarks, eyewitnesses, survival, rescue, ambulances and arrests. Yes, my friends, another idiot from the glorious state of Michigan, in a pathetic attempt to "make some money" went over the Niagara Falls, and lived to be arrested at the bottom. Either the Niagara Barrel Company was completely sold out, or this guy was in a time crunch, because our hero went over the falls au naturale -- No barrel, no container, no nothing. Just his pants, shirt, and undies, which must have been a mess by the time he got to the bottom. It's interesting to note the undeniable jealousy coming from a man they interviewed who has gone over the falls in a barrel twice himself. He claimed the fact that this guy used no "device" in going over the falls "cheapens the legend". I wasn't aware there was an idiot etiquette book, but hey, if you say so. So thanks, Michigan, for giving us yet another moronic representative for our lovely state. Niagara guy, you go over and stand next to the Unibomber, Mmmmkay?

In other watery news, I was just reading a blurb in Newsweek that said right before Hurricane Isabel, Pop-Tart sales rose over 20%. Wow! Personally, I would worry they would get soggy in Hurricane weather. Heck, I would worry they would get soggy in high humidity. But maybe that little tin-foily wrapper is stronger than I thought. Now, the lowly Pop-Tart has gotten quite a bit of press over the years, particularly for it's ability to burst into flames while in the toaster. If you ask my boyfriend Google about "Pop Tarts", you get over 70,000 responses:

1 A scientific description of "The Flaming Poptart Experiment" (courtsey of our friends at that Maize and Blue School down the road. Yick)

2 A flaming Pop-Tart experiment complete with Video Footage

3 The usual corporate advertisements of the Pop-Tart brand. Look at all the flavors! There is one called "Wild Magic Burst". I have no idea what flavor that would be, but I'm guessing it was named by a former employee of the Crayola Crayon factory.

4 Pop-Tart nutritional information courtesy of the drugstore chain Walgreens. Now what, do you suppose, would possess Walgreen's to devote a webpage to the nutritional value of Pop Tarts? I don't know either. But I do know one lowly tart (Frosted Strawberry, in this case) is 200 calories, 5 grams of fat and 38 grams of carbs. Yikes. Maybe burning it, rather than eating it, is a better course of action.

But, back to the Hurricane. So humanity at large, seeing a large wall of water approaching land, decided en masse, "we'd better go out and get some Pop-Tarts, and fast! I find this fascinating. The Newsweek article claimed that Pop-Tarts fit the bill of being a "high-energy, stress/comfort food." Really. Not that I have spent much time thinking about this, since the likelihood of a hurricane in Michigan is well, rather low, but if I made a list, I'm not sure Pop-Tarts would be on it. They could get wet from the rain, they could get soggy from the humidity, or they could catch on fire in the toaster. Seems pretty risky choice to me. Next time I'm on vacation in Hatteras, I'm going to ask the local grocery outlets if they noticed an increase in Pop Tart sales. It sounds like research to me. And another current event topic for tomorrow.

What high-energy, stress/comfort food would you pack?
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1 comment:

zidovudine in pregnancy said...

‘Pride comes before fall’. Pride before the fall 'and this type is still commonly used. The current King James Version is text. A sense of pride before the fall.