Monday, October 27, 2003

Countdown

This week is a countdown week. It's time to take a look at the calendar (No, it isn't Bible week, so you shouldn't be recognizing that quite yet) and start keeping track. I think counting down can be the worst torture ever. Unless you're counting down to something lousy or particularly craptacular, then I resort to the Ostrich method of "can't see it, can't stress over it." Unfortunately the Ostrich success rate is low. So, we're counting down anyway.

Unless you live in a cave, never set foot in a grocery store or have no kids, you know this Friday is Halloween. In the Tuna household things are percolating nicely. As you know, TinyTuna's costume has been successfully purchased. I say successfully because I didn't kill anyone (including myself) in the process. Tonight GramTuna will be making slight alterations in the costume (read: it was way too big) so she doesn't trip over the dumb thing, and so the sleeves don't hang down to her knees. It was especially funny to hear TinyTuna launch into a ten-minute lecture to GramTuna about the finer details of the sleeves, and how the points had to lay exactly on the top. Hee. It was funny because it wasn't me. In the end, TinyTuna was advised to zip it, because GramTuna was armed with straight pins. The costume should get quite a workout this week. TinyTuna gets to wear it to dance tomorrow, and to go "safe" trick-or-treating in downtown TunaVille at the various stores on Thursday. Friday she gets to wear it at school, and be in the big school parade where you can flaunt your stuff in front of all the drooling Kindergarteners. "Yeah, you wish you could be Princess Doodad, dontcha, little kid" she will think to herself as she does that queen wave thing.

So, TinyTuna begins the countdown with visions of mini Snickers bars dancing in her head. GreenTuna, meanwhile, begins the countdown with all eyes turned to the weather.

Oh great Halloween Gods of weather. Please PLEASE have mercy on our souls.
First request: no snow.
Second request: no rain.
Third request: Not super freezing cold.
I know I'm asking a lot. I will make the appropriate sacrifices of Candy Corn.
What? It won't count because I don't like Candy Corns anyway? Dang It.
Um, OK, I'll give you...Two small boxes of Milk Duds and a pile of Sweet-Tarts
(but only the yellow and green ones). May it find favor and a temperature of
no lower than 60 degrees from 6pm - 8 pm. After that, go wild!
Thanks loads
~~GreenTuna


Halloween is tough, to quote Al Roker, "in our neck of the woods". TinyTuna lusts after costumes like Princess Jasmine that would be fine, if you are trick-or-treating in the Bahamas. But here in mitten country, every costume must be able to work with a pair of sweat pants and a turtleneck sweater at the very least. Heck, some years you have to accessorize with a snowsuit. There is nothing funnier than seeing kids on porches up and down the street flashing the neighbors in an attempt to show off their costume for 1.73 seconds before frostbite sets in. You just have to adapt to your environment. Darwin would be proud.

In stunning lack of "what a surprise" -- the forecast has changed drastically in the past forty-eight hours. We heard "that which shall not be spoken" (the "S" word), we heard chunky rain, we heard scattered showers, and this morning I even heard "high of sixty." I better make sure I'm chocked full of sacrificial duds. It's going to be a long week.

This afternoon on the countdown parade: The BIG Game.
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