Friday, April 09, 2004


Speaking of evil mignons of the avian world, this one just may take the cake. This is perhaps one of the sickest and wrongest things I've seen in awhile, and once again it's because some marketing idiot didn't take two minutes to think like a perverted fifth-grader before putting this online.

I bring you: Subservient Chicken

Brought to you by the idiots at Burger King, "Subservient Chicken" is some highly disturbed individual in a chicken suit. As the site loads, it says "Contacting the Chicken." Sometimes the chicken gets off of the couch. Sometimes he comes into the room from down the hall. And then he just stands there.

You, the interactive participant get to type in a command, and watch Subservient Chicken do your bidding. The whole point here is you get to have the chicken "Your Way" ala the Burger King slogan. So, thinking on a strictly G-rated level, I type in "dance" and the chicken goes at it. Ditto with "Lay an Egg" although there isn't any egg by the time he's done. Maybe I should have been more specific and type "Try to lay an egg and fail miserably". Becoming slightly more mischievous, I typed in "Find WMD" and to his credit, Subservient Chicken has just as much luck as the rest of us (read: none). Occasionally Subservient Chicken seems to have a hearing problem, because when I told him to "run with scissors" he came up really close and played "Rock - Paper - Scissors" with a noticeable lack of "Volcano". Obviously he's a little behind in the times.

Other links on the page include "Tell a Friend", and the email reads: Finally, somebody in a chicken costume who will do whatever you want. Check it out!

You know, I've seen emails like that, and you know where THEY come from....

And herein we enter the world of sick and wrong. You know people are accessing that site and typing in every command they can think of, right? You know these commands will be censored, right? You know some 15-year old hack will be able to crack the code, right? You know the minute they do, that URL will be plastered all over the place, right?

Well, I don't make the news, I just report it. Thanks to our friends at Boing-Boing, this situation continues to be closely monitored. I wonder though, If the FCC doesn't do anything about it, do you suppose KFC will?

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