Tuesday, April 13, 2004

World Peace. The answer is world peace. The answer is always world peace, or someone or something that is somehow connected with world peace. Mother Theresa used to work. The Pope, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela -- these are all credible answers. Removing land mines for world peace, fight anorexia for world peace, Give a hoot, read a book about world peace...

And on and on it goes. It is not difficult.

Poor Miss Oklahoma. When asked "Who would you like to have dinner with and what would you ask them?" She answered (wait for it ....) Justin Timberlake. And then she giggled. And then she said she'd ask him to show her some dance moves. OY.

Granted, this woman is all of eighteen years old, and the Miss Oklahoma pageant was her first pageant, ever. But still. Even I know the answer is world peace and not Justin Timberlake.

Personally, I thought she should answer that she would have dinner with someone who had command of the English language and then they would join forces to beat the author of the question with a grammar stick, but I digress

I can't find a web page that lists the hobbies they were rattling off last night during the big event. Nothing will beat "picnics" as a hobby, but one of my other favorites was "trying to play lots of different instruments." HA! I can't decide if the rest of the sentence read "because I have no attention span and can't stick to one instrument for more than a day" or "because I stink at every single one I try."

You can check out all the Miss USA glamour shots HERE, but allow me to categorize them for easier viewing:

My Neck is Broken
Miss North Carolina
Miss Oregon
Miss Idaho

My Hair has a Better Personality Than I Do
Miss Delaware
Miss Hawaii
Miss Pennsylvania

Ladies of the Evening
Miss South Carolina
Miss Iowa
Miss New York
Miss Utah
Miss Tennessee

Dazed and Confused
Miss Ohio
Miss Oklahoma
Miss Missouri
Miss Alabama
Miss West Virginia

Dude, Where's my Brush?
Miss Mississippi
Miss California
Miss Florida
Miss Oklahoma
Miss Massachusetts
Miss Nevada

All Your Brush are Belong to Us
Miss Georgia
Miss Illinois

What Not to Wear
Miss Vermont (Wallet accessories?)
Miss District of Columbia (Carmen chorus to the left, please)
Miss Washington (Toga Bondage-wear)
Miss Oklahoma AND Miss Texas (Singing the same dress blues)

This is a glamour shot?
Miss Alaska (Lost: One Scalp. If found, call...)
Miss Montana (Help, I've fallen and I can't get up)
Miss Rhode Island (One false move, BLAMMO! Right in the neck)
Miss Georgia (Wearing leopard is bad, yo)

Until The Miss Universe Pageant (June 1, 2004) in Quito, Ecuador, I wish you...
World Peace.
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